What's Right, What's Wrong, What the Hell is Going On? The NHL

Well here I am on a Monday evening, and I have absolutely nothing to do. I took off work to get some extra sleep, and in that extra time I did the things I normally do when I got home. So, to kill time, and to entertain all my loyal readers (that would be Pat O'Toole and Brent Mennitto), I'm gonna start a four part series on the major North American sports leagues and list five good things and five bad things about each one. Since I know the least about hockey and there's only an hour til wrestling, I'm gonna start with the NHL. Hopefully this doesn't take long.

WHAT'S RIGHT:

1. Equality in the League. After years of a huge financial imbalance between the big market and small market teams that ultimately led to the lockout that erased the 2004-05 season, a new collective bargaining agreement was agreed upon, and it's designed for the benefit of all teams. The salary cap is a shade below $40 million, which is fair and affordable for every team in the league, especially when you consider the revenue problems many of them have. Now, teams like the Penguins and Blue Jackets can go out and sign decent players and have a chance of competing (will someone please tell the Pens that?).

2. New Rules = Better Game. Before this new CBA was reached, NHL hockey was a game of few goals, many holds hooks, and ties, and even more fans falling asleep. Now, two line passes are legal, games still tied after overtime go to a shootout, goalie pads are required to be smaller, and the rules are expected to be enforced consistently and universally. The result is a higher scoring game that generates some much needed excitement.

3. Apologetic Players. The players' reluctance to accept a salary cap was the driving force behind the 2004 lockout. Eventually, the NHLPA realized that the new system would be beneficial to everyone, and agreed to the NHL's new system. Shortly after this deal was reached, NHLPA director Bob Goodenow resigned after being considered the biggest villain of the lockout. Not long after that, veteran Jeremy Roenick basically apologized for the players at the Mario Lemieux golf tournament, saying they realize they had made a mistake, and if fans were still upset they could kiss his ass. Naturally the media only showed that last part and made him look stupid, but if you see the whole speech, he is right about everything.

4. There's Still Prestige. The Stanley Cup is still the most cherished and storied trophy in North American sports, and people in Canada and the northern US still love their hockey.

5. Crosby, Malkin, and Ovechkin. This could be like Bird, Magic, and Jordan in the 80s. Crosby and Ovechkin lit up the NHL last year, and Malkin, who will be in the 'Burgh this fall, is supposed to be better than both of them. With these three the league has some stars to market for the next 20 years (provided Ovechkin and Malkin learn English).

WHAT'S WRONG

1. The Pain of the Lockout. While the new CBA and the apologies of the players and owners were a good start, there is still the sting of losing the entire 04-05 season over how many millions a player is supposed to make. Just like in baseball, that alienates a lot of fans, and it may take a while before many of them come back.

2. The Outdoor Life Network!? After getting low-balled by ESPN on a TV deal, the NHL was forced to rely on local broadcasts, one or two weekend games on NBC, and a deal with The Outdoor Life Network. It's bad enough that most people either don't have OLN or don't know what channel it is, but to have hockey sandwiched between a rodeo and extreme trout fishing is just absurd. Most of the first three rounds of the playoffs, and even the first two games of the Stanley Cup Final were on OLN, which can't be good for ratings.

3. Revenue Problems. The NFL gets 66% of its revenue from its TV deal, the NHL gets 3%. Add to that ticket woes, weak sponsorship, and a ho-hum appeal in non-NHL cities, and many teams struggle to make any serious profit. The Pens are a prime example. Despite getting Crosby and a team that on paper looked real good at the start of the season, they struggled mightily. Had they sold out every game and made the second round of the playoffs, they still would have lost $7 million. I'm not sure a new arena with luxury suites could fix that "optimal situation".

4. Too Many Europeans. It's bad enough that 99% of the players are white athletes, but most of them aren't from this hemisphere. While that contributes to a good on-ice product, the US expects more out of its sports leagues. They want personalities, characters, outspoken lunatics, and names you can pronounce. Since many of the players have 29 letter last names (24 of which are consonants) and virtually no command of English, it is very hard to market them. I can't wait to see Malkin in a Capital One commercial: "Vat is it such that is in your vallet?"

5. It's...Hockey. In cities that don't have NHL teams, hockey will never get big. It seems to be a niche sport that only generates interest in places that have teams around which they could rally. Part of this is because it is a horrible sport to watch on TV. I hear it's great live, but most people don't get the opportunity to go see a game in person. Since it's lame on TV, what's the use in watching or getting interested in it.

Another problem I want to mention is the length of the season. It ended last week, just as summer began, and when it gets this warm, the only ice I wanna see is in a Captain and Coke. By either shortening the regular season or the playoffs, people will maintain interest by the time the finals come around.

NEXT WEEK: The NBA

What's Not to Like About the World Cup?

People around here may not have noticed, what with the non-stop coverage of Ben Roethlisberger's idiotic motorcycle wreck and Santonio Holmes' latest arrest (Holmes' games played as a Steeler: 0. Number of mugshots taken since being drafted: 2), but the planet's biggest sporting event is going on in America's lifelong ally, Germany. It is watched by billions of people around the world, more than the Super Bowl, the Olympics, WrestleMania, and "Friends" reruns, yet it has never caught on here in the States. Now I'm not gonna be like every other soccer fan and say, "Aw man why can't you get into soccer? You should be watching this stuff!" Instead, I'm going to express my appreciation and admiration for this insane month that only comes once every four years.

The greatest aspect of the World Cup, and indeed the sport of soccer anywhere but the US, is the fans' passion for the game. Trinidad and Tobago, a tiny country that had no chance to do much of anything, tied Sweden 0-0 in their first game. In America a tie is something that is neither celebrated nor lamented, but for the...Trinidadians and Toboggans(?) it was almost as big as winning it all. The fans in the stadium went berserk, as their team pulled off a pretty big upset. So what if they weren't gonna win anything; they went on the sport's biggest stage and showed they could hang with a powerful team. A similar thing occurred yesterday with Korea's 1-1 tie with 1998 champion France. Led by legend Zinedine Zidane (oh, another great thing about this tournament is the names. Fuckin love them), France had a high global ranking, but the Koreans held tough and their fans drowned out those silly Frenchmen. At the Staples Center in LA, thousands of Korean-Americans gathered to watch their homeland on closed circuit TV, and when they scored that late goal, a celebration ensued that far surpassed anything a Lakers NBA title could create. The chanting, the dancing, the body painting, it's all unlike anything that happens here in any sport. Fans at a soccer game in the US are there because there is nothing better to do, fans at the World Cup are there because it is their life.

Next you have the players. For far too long, the US has failed to put out the best possible Olympic or world championship team for basketball, baseball, or hockey, and most of it has been for BS reasons. It seems as though all the big star players will find any reason they can to not have to play any more than they are contractually obligated. Thanks to excuses such as minor injuries, vacations, or a disagreement with who is coaching, we are forced to put out an inferior product and struggle mightily. The players that do manage to show up are only in it for themselves, and the teamwork is virtually nonexistent (see 2004 Olympic basketball). None of that happens in soccer. Even the US team is made up of the best we have to offer. Players will get out of their deathbeds or skip their weddings to put on their country's colors and head out on the pitch. This is a world war, and everyone wants to win at all costs. Individualistic play will be swiftly punished by 3 defenders swarming on you and stealing the ball. Stupid play will result in yellow cards and own goals. Every country puts out its own dream team, and just about all of them can pull off something big.

Finally, there's the sport itself. Having played it when I was younger, I can tell you that all your preconceived notions about it are probably wrong. Americans consider an exciting game one that is high scoring and full of one handed catches or acrobatic dunks (thank the joke formerly known as "SportsCenter" for that). In a soccer match, there won't be many goals scored, and depending on how many shots are taken the likelihood of a fantastic highlight is pretty small. But what you will get is 45 minutes of non-stop action, followed by a 15 minute cooldown period, and then 45 more continuous minutes. There are no TV timeouts, no mound visits, no huddles, no garbage time, or any other lengthy interruption in play. The skill that these players have, and the countless momentum shifts make for a very exciting game once you get past the US bias and also realize the huge field makes it look slower than it actually is.

So again, while I won't scold you for not watching it, I will encourage you to give it a try and check out our boys against Ghana on Thursday. So what if the US might not win it all or even advance to the elimination round? Your other options are 1) baseball which is dominated by Cubans, 2) the NBA Finals, where the best player is from Germany, or 3) the Stanley Cup Finals, featuring EDMONTON, ALBERTA, CANADA against a Carolina Hurricanes team, of which only a third of the players are American. The world is watching, and we should be, too.

Building a Better Mousetrap

I had this great rant lined up about how much of an idiot Dave Littlefield was. For the past few weeks he had been insisting that once Joe Randa was healthy, he would immediately become the starter again, and Freddy "Dirty" Sanchez (God that is such a great nickname for him) would be relegated to the bench. Never mind the fact that Randa is 36 and was hitting a sad .221 before his injury, while Sanchez, 28, quickly shot up the list of NL batting leaders and coming into today was 2nd in the league with a .351 average. Littlefield just wanted to save face by not keeping a guy making $4 million on the bench. Benching Sanchez for Randa would have gone down as one of the dumbest moves in sports history, and the ultimate slap in the face to a loyal but tired group of Pirate fans...if there are any left.

But earlier today Littlefield came to his senses (or realized he'd be shot) and announced that Sanchez would still be the starting third baseman when Randa came off the DL. We can all breathe a sigh of relief, but don't make it too long or relieving. Littlefield is still the Pirates' GM, and his next bonehead decision can happen any day.

This whole third base fiasco could have easily been avoided back in 2003 if Littlefield would have signed Aramis Ramirez instead of handing him over to the Cubs. In return for Ramirez, who has been the power hitter we so deeply miss, the Pirates got Jose "Human Windmill" Hernandez, Bobby Hill, and minor league pitcher Matt Bruback. Bruback never made it to the majors, and Hill and Hernandez did, although their play indicated that no one had told them about it.

Sanchez was also the product of a really stupid trade. Originally, the Pirates had traded Scott Sauerbeck and Mike Gonzalez (yeah, our closer now) to Boston for Brandon Lyon and some other guy that never played here. As soon as Lyon got here, we learned that he had a serious injury and wasn't going to be able to pitch. So, we traded him and Jeff Suppan back to Boston for Sanchez and Gonzalez. The point of the past two paragraphs is if it wasn't for two awful moves by Littlefield, the third base problem we have had for the past few years never would have existed.

There are countless other bad moves that Littlefield has made that have far outweighed the good ones (and by good ones I mean the Bay/Perez for Giles deal). There are the acquisitions of Chris Stynes, Ron Villone, Randall Simon, Benito Santiago, Raul Mondesi, Randall Simon AGAIN, Jeromy Burnitz, Jeff D'Amico, Brian Boehringer, Ty Wigginton, Ruben Mateo, and Michael Restovich. And there are also the horrible evaluations of minor league talent. We lost Jose Bautista (and miraculously got him back), and Chris Shelton in one rule 5 draft. While Shelton has cooled off from a ridiculous start, he is still a star in the making, and one that would look good in black and gold. Littlefield also gave up on Duaner Sanchez and Chris Young (who two-hit the Buccos today. Karma's a bitch). Young, a 6'11" pitcher, was sent to Montreal for Matt Herges, who performed well in spring training but was cut anyways. The Pirate farm system, once a bright ray of hope a few years ago, is now full of 26 and 27 year old "prospects" who at this point in their careers have virtually no chance of making it to the big show. The few decent prospects the Pirates do have are still a couple years away from PNC Park.

Littlefield was given some slack his first couple years because of the limited budget and the mess that Cam Bonifay had made, but now this is truly his team, and he must be held accountable for it. Serious changes need to be made, the first of which is for him to back off and let Jim Tracy manage. Littlefield's job is to assemble the roster, not determine who plays and who will make him look as though his moves are justified.

Second, he has to stop with this rent-a-wreck crap. I'm sick of seeing him wheel these 37 year old has beens in every year, only to watch them hit in the low .230s but still play every day. After this year, Craig Wilson, Burnitz, Randa, and Kip Wells should be gone, which is an extra $18 million they'll have (factor in Sean Casey possibly being gone, and that number goes up to $26 million. Even if they do bring him back, it will be at a much lower salary than the $8 million he's getting now). The Pirates' play in recent weeks has shown that the young, cheap players that are locked up for a few more years are talented and can get better. So with this extra money and the added revenue from the All-Star game, the Pirates will have the ability to sign a good, YOUNG player that is either in his prime or about to enter it. Granted, this is all dependent on McClatchy and Nutting not pocketing all the profits and actually showing some baseball knowledge, which considering those to jagoffs is a strong possibility.

Finally, Littlefield needs to make a move this year and somehow trade for a star player. And I have the perfect guy:

Dontrelle Willis.

He's only making $4.5 million this year, and can be signed long term with that aforementioned extra money. He's only 23, and a former rookie of the year (and unlike previous ROYs the Pirates got, this one was within the last 20 years) with a World Series ring and 2nd place showing in the Cy Young voting. As an added bonus, the Pirates have exactly what the Marlins want: a couple decent young prospects. I can easily see a Craig Wilson and Sean Burnett deal for Willis. Hell, throw in Chris Duffy too. Maybe a change of scenery is what he needs.

Maybe this is wishful thinking, but that's all we have left. It's easy to blame the owners for all these problems, and most of it is their fault, but Littlefield doesn't get away unscathed anymore. He has made some really bad moves in his time here, and a lot of them are entirely his fault. Other GMs have done more with less, and it seems as though Littlefield keeps doing less with more. The All-Star game won't come here and make this franchise money every year, so it's time to put together a winner now. Any delay, and you'll see a mutiny.