The Irish Buckeye

A Visit from Beyond...

2006-11-16T18:36:00.000-05:00

It's 2:30 on Saturday, an hour before the kickoff of what may be the biggest college football game ever. Number 1 Ohio State vs. Number 2 Michigan. The Buckeye players sit in the locker room, eagerly awaiting the arrival of head coach Jim Tressel for his pregame speech. Surely he'll have something special to say, they think. After all, this was the man who in his first public appearance as head coach promised the crowd at an OSU basketball game that they would be proud of the football team in 310 days in Ann Arbor.

Tressel and the rest of the coaching staff walk in, but instead of standing up front, they all take seats with the players. As they look around wondering what is going on, a shadowy figure emerges. It does not take long for everyone to realize who it is. The hat, the red shirt, the glasses, they're all dead giveaways. It's Woody, and he's come to give the boys a pep talk.

"Men, in a little less than an hour from now, you will be taking part in history. You will be participating in the biggest sporting rivalry our great nation has to offer. For some of you, this will be your last time playing this game, and for others, your first. But no matter how many times you have been involved in this battle, I sincerely hope your hatred for that state up north is as strong as it's ever been.

"Now I'm sure most if not all of you heard the story of this great rivalry before, but since I'm a great admirer of history, I'll tell it to you again. The animosity first began in the 1830s, when both Ohio and Michigan laid claim to the Toledo area. Since Ohio was a state and had voting power, while Michigan was still only a territory, the government gave the land to Ohio, just as militias were preparing for a war.

"The football games began in 1897, and in the early years, Michigan kicked our asses. Once I was hired, though, I made it a point to never let that happen. In my first eighteen seasons I won twelve times, and in many of those games the Big Ten and national championships were on the line for one and or the other. Then, there was the Ten Year War against my friend and former assistant Bo Schembechler. I went 5-4-1 against him, but managed to share the Big Ten title with him six times.

"In the decade after I left the series was virtually even, but that changed when John Cooper came along. As great of a coach as he was, he could not beat Michigan, and that is why he is not in this room right now. He had some fantastic teams, top five several times, but he only won the game twice, costing him at least two national titles. This man you have now, Mr. Tressel, now he's the right man for this game. That thing he said at the basketball game when he was hired? I was watching from up there, and I loved it.

"But enough about history. Today is your history. For the first time ever Michigan and The Ohio State are entering their game in the top two spots in the rankings, with the winner going on to the national championship game. If that doesn't make you want to go out there and kill this team, then you don't deserve to put on shoulder pads. This is the biggest game ever in the biggest rivalry ever. The hell with those flashy southern teams and the ones out west. The best goddamn football is right here in the Big Ten, the best game of the season is happening right here, and the best fucking team in the country is right here in this room!

"Men, this is more than a football game; this is war. This is the resumption of that battle 160 years ago, when people from Michigan thought they could come in to our turf and claim it as their own. You have been chosen to defend your land, no matter what the cost. You are playing this game for your state, for your classmates, your families, your friends, Ohio State alumni, and anyone who has ever put on the Scarlet and Gray, whether it was to play for us or cheer for us on a Saturday afternoon. Rose Bowls and national titles are all well and good, but what matters most is beating Michigan. You can lose every game by 100 points, but if you win this game, people will be happy, and the season will be a success.

"I said a little while ago that you guys were making your own history today, and you really are. This is not like any other game in this rivalry, or in the entire history of college football. I coached some of these games where both teams were unbeaten, but never when it was 1 versus 2. But you guys, you are now living that dream, and I hope you appreciate it. Years from now you will be able to tell your children and grandchildren that you participated in one of the greatest moments in sporting history: The Ohio State-Michigan game.

"And men, I sincerely hope you can add to that phrase...'AND WE WON!'"

Time For a Change?

2006-11-01T21:14:00.000-05:00

"No organization is stronger than the quality of its leadership, or ever extends its constituency far beyond the degree to which its leadership is representative." - Edgar Powell

Before I get into this week's piece, I'd like to preface it with a little disclaimer. I am, and always have been, a big Steeler fan. I'm not one of the bandwagon folks that have only started liking them in the past couple years. I was there in 1992 when Barry Foster ran for 190 yards against the Jets. I saw Randy Fuller break up Jim Harbaugh's Hail Mary in the '95 AFC Championship. I was also there in '99 when the expansion Browns beat the Steelers, and later that year when our boys beat the Panthers in blinding snow in an absolutely meaningless game for either team. I know that Courtney Hawkins owns the team record for catches in a game. Yes, unlike most of the recent casual fans, I can name Steeler receivers other than Hines Ward. I didn't buy a jersey or Terrible Towel because it would make me look cool. By the same token, I think those pink Steeler jerseys are an abomination, and anyone wearing them should be slapped silly. Now, on with the show...

I have always been a Bill Cowher fan, and anytime KDKA or those other channels would interview some drunk buffoon in a restaurant after a loss and that person would say, "Duh, they should fire Cowher cause he stinks and they lost and I have no idea what I'm talking about," I would get pissed. People around here have such ridiculously high expectations, and they really don't know how lucky we are to have Cowher as a coach. In fourteen years, they have only missed the playoffs four times. He's the longest-tenured coach in the league, and since his hiring in 1992 there have been about a zillion coaching changes in the NFL. Through it all, we've had Cowher, and the Steeler organization is much better off for it.

However, things have become much different this year, and the future of the team is up in the air. After winning the Super Bowl last year, the Steelers are 2-5 this year, with the most recent loss occurring this past Sunday at the hands of the hilariously awful Oakland Raiders. Despite only getting 98 yards of offense, the Raiders beat the Steelers, 20-13, thanks to two Ben Roethlisberger interceptions that were returned for touchdowns. As bad as the Raiders looked, the Steelers were worse, looking confused and at times like they just didn't give a damn.

If the ho-hum performance of the team wasn't bad enough, Cowher's reaction on the field and with the media has been even more troubling. The young Cowher of the early 90s was not afraid to snap at a player on the sideline, showering him with spit. It didn't matter who it was, from the rookie to the superstar to the veteran that was only a couple years younger than Cowher was; if you messed up you would hear about it, and it wouldn't be pretty. The Steelers of that era were disciplined, successful, and they knew who ran the team: Bill freaking Cowher.

Fast forward to the past couple years. Fumbles, interceptions, and blown coverages are no longer followed by an explosion on the part of Cowher, but rather a shot of him standing on the sideline, arms folded, shaking his head. Remember that press conference in 1998 after a loss to the Titans when Cowher forced Ed Bouchette to ask him if he was going to bench Kordell just so he could yell "NO!"? That's now replaced by a calm, quiet, "We tried. We left it all out on the field. We now have to concentrate on the next game. (Insert coaching cliche here)." Maybe it's maturity, or maybe it's the wear and tear of 15 years of being the head coach for the same team, but the fire and intensity that once endeared Cowher to both players and fans are gone.

Now, I don't claim to be an expert on coaching styles. I don't know if yelling and throwing stuff really makes a difference when it comes to a team's performance, but it's obvious that Cowher has lost touch with his team. A few weeks ago, Willie Parker, Verron Haynes, and Mike Logan committed moronic unsportsmanlike conduct penalties in a loss to the Bengals. After the game Cowher assured the press that such a thing would never happen again. Last week against the Falcons, Hines Ward decided to join Nate Washington's touchdown dance troupe. Since the NFL banned multi-player celebrations this past offseason, this little ballet led to another unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. In essence, Ward was completely disobeying his coach's edict, and since he's the top receiver and a media darling, there isn't much Cowher can do about it.

This lack of discipline has even spread to the management. After that Falcons game, Dan Rooney earned himself a $25,000 fine by calling the false start penalty on Washington "ridiculous", and basically whining like a kid that didn't get his way. I don't know what he was trying to accomplish by doing this, but unless it was to make himself look stupid and not like the well-respected figure in the NFL that he is, it didn't work.

So what needs to be done? Does Cowher need to find that old spark he had in 1992, or should he just give up, retire, and move to North Carolina like everyone is predicting? Does Rooney need to step in and either put a foot in Cowher's ass or give him the boot? And what about the players? They certainly deserve some of the blame for this mess, but how much? After all, we deify them to the point that their egos have to swell no matter how humble they may be. When you are treated like you can do no wrong, eventually you start to believe it, and you act accordingly. Perhaps a bad season is what they need. The fairweather fans will disappear and less attention will be showered upon them. Then maybe they'll realize they're making money to play football and win, not dance around or taunt or appear on commercials.

Until something changes, expect the fall of the empire to continue, especially this weekend against Denver.

Pitt Ain't It...Yet

2006-10-23T20:52:00.000-04:00

It started in 2002, when West Virginia came to town with a Gator Bowl berth on the line. In front of a raucous crowd, the Mountaineers were the ones doing the gator chomp after a 24-17 win.

A year later, the fifth-largest crowd in Pitt history watched Julius Jones gain a school-record 262 yards, and Notre Dame killed the last 9:14 of a prime-time, nationally televised game to win, 20-14

Two months after that, a strong but beatable Miami team came to Heinz Field. On a bitter cold November night, with the Big East title and a BCS berth on the line, the Hurricanes from beautiful, sunny Florida humiliated the Panthers, 28-14.

They had a chance to legitimize the weakened Big East in the Fiesta Bowl the following year, but were stomped by mid-major Utah.

In 2005, a record crowd of 66,451, not to mention millions more at home, witnessed the Dave Wannstedt era begin with a gruesome 42-21 loss to Notre Dame that featured the Irish piling up 275 rushing yards.

And in the past two months, we have seen the only two legitimately good teams Pitt has played so far (Michigan State and Rutgers) come into the world's yellowest stadium and run all over them like Bo Jackson did to the Oilers in Tecmo Super Bowl.

Pitt just can't win a big game, especially at home, and we should be used to it by now. Sure, they have made tremendous strides since that magical 1996 season highlighted by a 72-0 loss to THE Ohio State, but they seem to have reached a plateau of mediocrity, and this past week's loss to the Scarlet Knights has only emphasized that.

How do you not show up for a game like this? National TV against an undefeated and ranked team. Homecoming weekend that meant more people in the stands than normal, and yet it seemed as though those fans had more enthusiasm than the players. The offensive and defensive lines were pushed around as though they were high school freshmen. Tyler Palko barely had any time to get a decent pass off, and Rutgers running back Ray Rice shredded the Pitt defense for 225 yards, eerily similar to the way Michigan State gained 353 yards on the ground in Pitt's other loss.

All these rushing yards add up to one thing: Pitt really isn't that good.

Sure, you can mention all their successes since Walt Harris took over in 1997, but taking a closer look at them reveals those sucesses are very gilded. The bowl games? Mostly insignificant ones considering just about everyone goes to a bowl now, and the only time Pitt played in a major bowl, they proved to be not the team that won the Big East title, but rather the team that didn't lose the Big East title. The big wins against Virginia Tech? Va. Tech might be the most overrated program in the nation. Every year they started out 7-0, and every year they were lucky to finish 8-3. They are bigger chokers in big games than the Buffalo Bills. And what about Pitt's 6-2 record this year? Those six wins came against some very lousy teams, including I-AA doormat The Citadel. There's nothing impressive about a blowout win when you were supposed to kill them in the first place.

This trend is only going to get worse in the next month, too. Games at home against Louisville and West Virginia, both undefeated, top ten teams with high-powered offenses, have the potential to be slaughters. WVU's quarterback is running for 200 yards a game now, for Christ's sake. Pitt's inability to stop a talented running game could reach new lows against the Mountaineers.

But while this regular season could end with two more losses in the next four games, there is hope on the horizon. Unlike Walt Harris, who viewed Pitt as an average-at-best program and said as much after blowing their numerous chances, Dave Wannstedt remembers when Pitt was the premier program in the east if not the nation. He had made it his mission to put them back at the top, and he seems to be building a solid foundation for it. His recruiting class for 2007 will be among the best in the nation, and Pitt is still high on the lists of LeSean McCoy and Toney Clemons. While Clemons seems to be leaning towards Michigan, McCoy may like Pitt a lot more after the debacle involving Miami last weekend.

However, none of this will matter if two things are not solved. The lines are atrocious and need lots of improvement. Whoever next year's starting QB will be, he will need added protection, and the defensive line is too small and too soft to even think about stopping a better running back.

The second thing that needs fixed is their awful record in big games at home, along with the equally awful fan support. While it theoretically isn't their stadium, it is still Pittsburgh, and other teams coming in there and walking all over the Panthers is inexcusable. So is not selling out a big game against a ranked opponent when your own team is playing well. The Steelers aren't playing on Saturdays, and tickets are not that expensive. Hell, Penn State plays two or three pee-wee teams at home every year, and they manage to draw 110,000 retards for those blowouts. Why can't we get 60,000 for the same thing? If people want Pitt to return to real prominence, they (me included) should come out and show the players, both current and potential, that they deserve to be a big time program.

The 2006 Pittsburgh Pirates: They Didn't.

2006-10-03T19:03:00.000-04:00

In one sense I am thrilled that Freddy Sanchez has won the 2006 NL batting title. It has given the fans in Pittsburgh something to be happy about in the midst of this fourteen year hell.

But on the other hand, this remarkable accomplishment has given the Buccos' management more leverage in fooling the public into buying tickets for '07. They'll use this to show that all is not lost with the team, and fans should come out to PNC Park just in case something big happens.

The Pirates' 2006 season started with an appalling seven straight losses, effectively eliminating them from any kind of contention before Easter. Things continued to fall apart after that, as an embarassing 9-27 record in one-run games led to a 30-60 record at the All-Star break. While things improved and the Pirates went 37-35 after the break, they still finished with a 67-95 record, identical to their 2005 mark. Even with this improved play, the team still wasn't very good, and all indications are that they might not be much better next year. Here's a breakdown of each position, as well as the coaching and front office.

Catcher: Humberto Cota was the starting catcher on opening day, and that was about the highlight of his season. His .190 average was the lowest among all players with at least 100 at-bats, and when you combine that with zero home runs and five RBI, you have a player that will not be a Pirate in 2007. Ryan Doumit was pegged as the backup/starter of the future, but after some struggles at the plate, a lengthy injury, and an attempt to turn him into a first baseman and outfielder, his future at catcher seems to be in a reserve role at best.

Doumit's injury paved the way for rookie Ronny Paulino to come in and become only the second catcher in the last 37 seasons to hit .310 or better (the other being Mike Piazza; that's good company). While his fielding is a little shaky, he is still young and can improve. If and when he does, he could become one of the premier catchers in baseball.

First Base: Sean Casey was acquired in the offseason to provide veteran leadership, a steady bat, and probably a cheap marketing ploy as he is from the Pittsburgh area. However, he failed to produce, due in large part to missing six weeks with a broken back, and was sent to Detroit at the trading deadline. No real replacement was found, as Doumit, Joe Randa, Jose Hernandez, and Xavier Nady (acquired at the deadline) all spent time at first, with none of them being very impressive. Hernandez was one of the worst hitters in recent memory and was traded in August and Randa will not be back in '07 (more on him later), leaving Doumit, Nady, or an offseason pickup as the options. Doumit never played first until this year, and it showed, so unless he improves drastically at the plate and especially with the glove, the job will not be his. Nady hit well when he first came to the Burgh, but tailed off in September, only hitting .319. While his fielding is much better than Doumit's, his hitting needs work. Maybe this is where the Pirates can get a power hitting lefty?

Second Base: Jose Castillo entered the season needing to use his enormous potential a lot more consistently. After blowing up in May with six home runs in the final five games of the month, he hit only three more the rest of the year while batting .219. He finished with a relatively disappointing .253 average, but that is only part of the story. He made way too many mental errors both in the field and while running the bases. Perhaps his lowest point came in a game in July, when he got caught in a rundown twice...on two straight pitches. Getting in one is bad enough, but getting in another one ten seconds later is inexcusable, and things like that may cost him his job. His future with the team is uncertain, as they might try to put Freddy Sanchez there, in which case Castillo will probably be traded.

Shortstop: Jack Wilson bulked up in the offseason, and now he needs to trim a few pounds. He finished with a .273 average, up from .257 in '05, but still way lower than his .308 in 2004. He committed an uncharacteristic 18 errors, fifth most in the NL at the position. I'm guessing (hoping) the weight gain was the cause of this, and by losing 10-15 pounds he can get his form back. He was a fixture in the second spot of the batting order in '06, and I see no reason he won't be there next year.

Third Base: Joe Randa was brought back to Pittsburgh after nearly a decade of productive hitting in Kansas City and a couple other places to fill the glaring need at third. He was awful at the start of the season, and then got hurt and had to miss a long period of time. Enter the Dirty One...Freddy Sanchez. Considered at the start of the year to be nothing more than a bench warming utility infielder, all Sanchez did was hit...and hit, and hit, and hit. By July he was leading the league in hitting, but Dave Littlefield still insisted Randa was the man at third. After a couple more multi-hit games for Sanchez, Littlefield changed his stance, and Randa became the bench warming utility infielder. Sanchez finished the year with a .344 average, becoming the first Pirate batting champ since Bill Madlock in 1983. To make matters better, Freddy's defense was phenomenal, leaving absolutely no doubt in anyone's minds as to his ability to play. In 2007, Sanchez will either be back at third, or take Castillo's place at second. If the latter happens, look for Jose Bautista to possibly replace him. Or maybe Aramis Ramirez, if he becomes a free agent?

Right Field: Jeromy Burnitz was signed and overpaid to be the left handed, power hitting right fielder. While he did manage to hit 16 home runs, he didn't hit much else, and was in no way worth the $6 million he was paid. He was eventually benched in favor of a platoon of Doumit, Bautista, and Nady. Burnitz will not be back, and who plays in right in 2007 depends on where everyone else plays and who the Pirates acquire in the offseason.

Center Field: Chris Duffy, after an impressive showing late in 2005, was the starting CF and leadoff hitter at the beginning of the season. Manager Jim Tracy tweaked with his hitting style, and the results were disastrous. After batting .194 in the first month or so, he was sent to the minors, only he refused to go and left baseball completely for a couple weeks. He eventually came back, and after dominating in the minors, made it back to Pittsburgh, where he hit .315 and finished with a .255 average, which is pretty good considering what had happened. Even more encouraging was his base stealing, as he caught 26 bases on 27 attempts. While Doumit was in exile/the minors, Jose Bautista and Nate McLouth shared duties in center until McLouth was injured. It seems as though Duffy may have earned the starting job back, with McLouth as a very capable reserve. Waiting in the wings, however, is Andrew McCutcheon. He's still very young and will start the season in AA Altoona, but he is a potential five-tool player, and he could be a monster when he gets to the majors.

Left Field: Jason Bay is the Pirates' left fielder; no doubt about it. He had another solid season, hitting a career high 35 homers and driving in 109 runs, also a personal best. He even got to start the All-Star Game in his home stadium, thanks to a huge marketing campaign. That being said, he is still not an elite player, and that is due to his horrible clutch hitting. His average with runners in scoring position was a weak .242, hardly acceptable for a player of his caliber. Countless times he could have broken a game open or kept the Pirates alive with a timely hit, and countless times he disappointed. If he can keep the same power numbers while improving on his hitting in tight situations, Bay will become a household name, and the Pirates will win a lot more games.

Starting Pitching: Way too much youth here. Oliver Perez came into the season as the most experienced starter on the Pirates' staff, and he did not set a good example. He never regained his 2004 form, and in fact he got progressively worse until he was traded to the Mets. Kip Wells missed a large part of the season because of a shoulder problem, and when he did come back he stunk and was also sent away. Zach Duke and Paul Maholm didn't match their insane 2005 numbers, but no one expected them to. They took some bad lumps this year, and we can only hope that it was a learning experience and they will be better in '07. Tom Gorzelanny came up from Indy for the last few months, and was solid if unspectacular. Victor Santos was garbage, and I don't understand why we even got him. He didn't pitch the last four weeks of the season, and he will not be back next year. Shawn Chacon was acquired in a trade with the Yankees, and was also pretty bad, and hopefully will also not be back. The brightest spot was by far Ian Snell, who went 14-11 and had a strikeout rate of 8.2 per nine innings. If he give up fewer home runs, he'll be an ace for years to come.

Relief Pitching: Mike Gonzalez converted all of his save opportunities before getting injured and missing the last six weeks of the season. He has firmly entrenched himself as the Bucs' closer. When he got hurt, Salomon Torres took over for him and got 12 saves in 13 chances. Torres also tied Kent Tekulve's franchise record with 94 pitching appearances. John Grabow also had a strong year, while Damaso Marte didn't. It seemed like every time Marte came into a close game, you saw an L next his name in the box score. He did not impress me, and will in all likelihood not be back next year. Twenty-two year old Matt Capps, who before this year didn't get above A ball, was a surprising addition to the roster, and was remarkable all year. He pitched in 83 games, one shy of the rookie record, and walked only twelve batters, five of which were intentional. While he tailed off late in the year due to fatigue, this hard throwing righty will be a fixture in the Pirates bullpen for many years. In 2007 look for men such as Shane Youman, Jonah Bayliss, and Josh Sharpless to compete for the open spots in the Pirates' pen.

Coaching: Pitching coach Jim Colborn tried to change the young starters' mechanics in spring training, and the results were less than pleasant. But overall, the new coaching staff, led by manager Jim Tracy, did a respectable job. The biggest problem I had with Tracy was his unwillingness to criticize veterans and accept blame when the Pirates lost, and his willingness to criticize young players and accept credit when the Pirates won. He never lost his players, though, and while I would like to see more fire and intensity instead of the usual calm and cliched manager quotes, I like what he has done with this team and hope he improves them even more next year.

Management: Dave Littlefield is an idiot. Plain and simple. He was given more money to work with, and spent $16 million on Casey, Burnitz, Randa, and Jose "Human Windmill" Hernandez. His attempts to justify the moves he has made have had the tone of "well, we're a crappy team and we can't get any better". Other teams with similar payrolls have had some amount of success, while the Pirates keep signing has beens and trading young stars for career minor leaguers. With the short right field porch at PNC Park, the fact that there hasn't been a legit power hitting lefty since Brian Giles is inexcusable. Littlefield got us Bay and (by some bizarre stroke of luck) Freddy, but the bad moves he has made far outweigh the good ones. However much money he has to spend on the 2007 team, he needs to spend it right, or he should be looking for a new job a year from now.

Ownership: G. Ogden Nutting and his son, the majority owners of the Pirates, never come out in public. You never see them at a game, you never see them at a press conference, and you probably never will. They're too busy counting the money you foolish fans give them to watch fireworks and collect bobbleheads. All the while, they send Kevin McClatchy, who is the Pirates president but NOT the guy making the business decisions, out there to get slaughtered by the fans and media. While the ownership did up the payroll for 2006, they are still light years behind other franchises, and if the estimates on their annual profits are correct, they can definitely afford to spend more. But then again, if you were making $20 million a year tricking the public into buying a crap product, what incentive would you have to invest more money?

Outlook for 2007: Folks, do not be fooled by this recent surge and improved play. Even though the Pirates played above .500 after the All-Star break, they were still outscored by a significant amount, and showed virtually now power. Most of the players on the roster now would be lucky to ride the bench for a team like the Yankees or Mets. Even with one or two significant additions, this still isn't a powerhouse team.

That being said, there are still spots that need filled immediately. The Pirates need a lefty power hitter desperately, as they are letting that stadium go to waste without one. Likewise, they need a good veteran (not old, just a veteran) right handed starting pitcher to complement the young lefties they have now. Those are the urgent needs at the major league level, but the problems are throughout each level of the organization. With the exception of McCutcheon, there are no real prospects in the Pirates' minor league system. The AAA team is made of 30 year old journeymen, the AA team is older than the Marlins, and the lower classes are years away, if there is any talent there at all. Other teams have invested millions into Asia and Latin America, while the most Latin investment the Pirates have made recently has been Raul Mondesi and Benito Santiago. They need to start signing and developing some of those young Dominican and Puerto Rican kids (especially in Puerto Rico, where the "Clemente played for us" sales pitch still has to have some merit), and also start competing for the Japanese and Korean stars looking to ply their trade with the big boys.

I can't even begin to speculate what the roster and lineup will look like for 2007. There are too many variables on the roster now and many more that could be on the roster by spring training. One thing is for sure: it doesn't look like the team will improve much next year, but that might not matter. Next year will mark the 10th anniversary of the 97 "Why Not Us" Pirates finishing only four games behind the division champ Astros in the NL Comedy Central. It looks as though the division is headed for another down year, as every team tumbled the last two months of the season. Maybe it won't take much to compete for the title, which will be a good thing, since the Pirates probably won't have much.

Red, White, and Blow

2006-09-26T18:59:00.000-04:00

In 1980, the United States hockey team was made up of unknown college players, and were given no chance to do anything in the Winter Olympics. They pulled off some upsets, and made it to the semifinals where they faced a Soviet Squad that may have been the most talented hockey team ever assembled (seriously, they destroyed a team of NHL all-stars that year). But all that talent couldn't counteract the Americans' heart, and that scrappy group of youngsters beat the commies, and went on to win the gold medal.

In 1992, the USA organized a basketball team that is arguably the greatest squad ever put together for any sport. These guys were so good they could have won gold in other sports too. Every game was an execution, as Jordan, Bird, Magic, Barkley, and company won the gold with absurd ease.

Two years later, on their own soil, the American soccer team made it to the medal round of the World Cup. While they lost their first game, it was farther than they had gone in decades, and many thought this would signal the emergence of the U.S. as a soccer power.

The 1999 Ryder Cup will always be remembered for the miraculous comeback the Americans made on the final day. Justin Leonard's 45-foot putt on the 17th is etched into the memory of every golf fan in America.

In 2000, our baseball team, made up of unknown minor league players, shocked the world and defeated Cuba to win the gold medal. Along with the World Cup and Ryder Cup teams, this baseball team refused to lose, and it paid off.

The most heart, the most talent, and the strongest winning attitude. It's a shame none of our national teams have any of these traits now.

In the past six or seven years, we have seen the free fall of American teams in international competition. Consider the following:

The U.S. hockey team lost the gold medal game to Canada in 2002, and at this years games in Turin, they finished a disappointing 8th. The team was inexperienced and largely outmatched against stronger European teams.
The U.S. baseball team failed to qualify for the 2004 Summer Olympics...even though we invented the sport and are home to what is by far the best professional baseball system in the world. This past spring they failed to get out of the second round of pool play in the first ever World Baseball Classic.
Our soccer team tanked in the 1998 World Cup, finishing 32nd out of 32 teams. After an amazing march to the 2002 quarterfinals, expectations were high for us in Germany this past summer. They stumbled, big time, and failed to get out of group play.
After winning the basketball gold in Sydney in 2000, the U.S. blew up and finished a pathetic 6th at the 2002 world championships. This was followed by a weak bronze medal performance at the Athens games in '04, lowlighted by a 92-73 loss to Puerto Rico in the first game (isn't Puerto Rico a U.S. territory? Why aren't they playing for us?). And just a few weeks ago, this year's allegedly improved team lost to Greece (featuring a black player...I don't get it) in the semis and had to settle for another bronze.
After alternating victories with Europe for decades, the U.S. has been stomped the past three Ryder Cups, including record margins of defeat in the past two.

I could mention others, such as a Swiss man and Russian woman winning our tennis titles, but I think you get a point. When it comes to international competition, America isn't at the top anymore. Hell, in some instances they aren't even close. Is it the heart, the talent, the will to win, or something else? Let's take a look.

Talent. Definitely not talent. Maybe in soccer and hockey, two sports that are bigger in other parts of the world, we can say that our teams are not the most talented. However, in the cases of baseball, basketball, and golf, we're still the best...at least on paper. The baseball team for the WBC featured five certain Hall of Famers and several rising stars. Many of the countries that went further than the U.S. have baseball teams thanks to the U.S. and their development programs. It seems as though we've forgotten about development of our own boys.

In basketball, we are still head and shoulders above every other country in terms of pure talent. I'll take any of America's five best players over anyone else on the planet in a game of one on one. Hell, the original Dream Team could probably still win a medal, and they're all in their 40s. Watch the NBA today, and you'll see that the likes of LeBron James, Carmello Anthony, and Kobe Bryant can run circles around the best the world has to offer. And Shaq can still knock any other player on his ass. Sure, other nations have improved dramatically, but I still don't think they're at our level yet.

Golf is a bit of a perplexing subject, as there are many variables that contribute to a player's performance. The course, the weather, and a bunch of other things could wreak havoc on one player, but be a blessing for another. That being said, we still got the big guns. This year's Ryder Cup team featured Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, and Jim Furyk. You can see their names in the world rankings at nos. 1, 2, and 3, respectively. The rest of the squad was solid if unspectacular, and certainly should have played better than the lopsided score indicates. The European team was also strong, but in no way outmatched the U.S.

So it's not talent, but what about...

Will to win. We Americans are vain people. We always want to look good in everything we do, and getting your ass whooped on a global stage does not lead to a nice image. I don't think the athletes' desire to win has diminished despite all the media hype and external distractions, but I do think that other nations' improving programs has led to more confidence and with it a stronger will to win. Americans still get pissed at losing, and I don't think they like it any more than they used to, but that feeling seems to have been surpassed by that of other nations.

That leaves only one thing...

Heart. You want to know why we can't win anything anymore? It's simple: we've gotten too cocky, and now we expect to win without putting in the effort. With the exception of the World Cup and Ryder Cup, our world championship and Olympic teams consist primarily of players who are taking the place of the coaches' first options. All too often we see guys drop out for BS reasons. Some are tired (you can't squeeze in six or seven more games?), some want to spend time with their families (take them with you. It's called a vacation), and the one that bothers me the most...they don't like the coach or the other selections for the team. Give me a break. These players were chosen because they were the best of the best, and if your friend isn't on the team, too bad. Soldiers don't get to pick who they are in a trench with during a war, and it's not up to you to make the roster you want.

Injuries are a valid excuse to an extent. If it's something serious, then by all means don't play. But if it's a little bump or bruise, grow a set and get on the team. Mario Lemieux missed a lot of games in the 01-02 season due to injury, but he mustered up the strength to represent his country in the '02 games, and led them to the gold. You see soccer players refuse to sit out games because they want to play for their country so bad. If national pride isn't enough to make you want to play, then move to Luxembourg.

Another thing I want to touch on that is sorta related to heart is the concept of teamwork. In 2002 and 2004, our basketball teams were loaded with great individual players, but when it came to working together as a team, all hell broke loose, and the results were not pretty. That is something that has been improved on this past summer, but still needs work. These guys need more than a week or so together in order to get to know each other and get their shit together on the court.

It's a wonder other countries still hate us. You'd think they would love beating us in just about every sport. I think it's about time we return the favor and show them who's still the king.

Anatomy of the Worst Day of Football... Ever... The Worst

2006-09-22T09:09:00.001-04:00

by Kamo

(Author's note: While some college students consider Thursday to officially start the weekend, I am considering the weekend to be a Saturday through Sunday thing because everyone knows real college teams only play on Saturday. In addition, I did attend the WVU-Maryland game last Thursday but it was more for drinking and things of that nature than it was for football.)

Saturday, September 16th

9:37 - I get off the couch after falling asleep Friday at 7 (see: Maryland-WVU the night before) and turn on ESPN. Lou Holtz is making valid points while Mark May is being his typical moron self.

9:45 - I put in a load of laundry, go to BB&T to cash a check and then trick myself into thinking that eating a bowl of cereal is better than eating a McMuffin. Mistake number 1 for the day and a foreshadowing of the days events.

10:00 - Eating my delicous cereal (seriously, it was) I flip on College Gameday, otherwise known as the best 2 hours on TV. I dig in for what should be a long, great day of college football that, at the time, I thought would culminate in Notre Dame stomping Michigan.

10:15 - The first mention of ND - Michigan on Gameday. The announcers seem to think it will be close, but Brady can't miss and Charlie Weis would never get outfoxed by Lloyd (Manboobs) Carr.

10:45 - I am getting sick of hearing about how good Ohio State, USC, Florida, Tennessee, and Florida State are. For one, I know Ohio State and USC are good. Second, FSU is awful.

11:03 - My parents call to say they are getting close. This is important because the cereal I ate is rapidly dissolving and I want some real food.

11:30 - Parents arrive with food aplenty and plans to take me out to eat at Ruby Tuesdays, but not until the end of Gameday. For the final half hour of the show my father and I sit motionless and quiet like two men listening to a Christmas Eve Mass. We need help.

12:04 - Gameday ends and we go to eat. All I can think about is those little Mini's they advertise on TV and my stomach apparently can't get them off his mind either because he is now eating a hole through my skin.

12:45 - Mini's.

1:10 - Completion of Mini's- kind of. They were great, so great that I couldn't finish them all. And neither could my old man, which marks a first in the Kamlowsky house- Mike Jones and Kamo do not finish their plates.

2:00 - Back at the apartment watching BYU - Boston College in hopes that bin Laden will pick out his next victim in Chestnut Hill. Earl shows up (This is important later).

2:30 - No bin Laden, but BYU is making a game out of this and BC all of the sudden looks like they belong in the MAC. My dad and I smile.

3:00 - Earl decides to get beer and while I didn't plan on drinking, I figure what the hell. I was drunk for ND's first 2 games, why not make it a trifecta.

3:25 - Earl comes back with a case of beer. I drink my first beer while BYU - BC goes into OT. I love life right now.

3:30 - False advertising bastards at NBC. They say 3:30 kickoff- BULLSHIT. More like 3:47 or something like its the Super Bowl. Assholes.

3:47 - Notre Dame comes through the tunnel, sending chills all over me and a tear comes out of my eye. It is the most beautiful thing in the sports world to see those Gold helmets shining in the autumn sun. Almost as if God himself is saying, "Go ahead now boys. Play for Our Lady."

3:50 - Opening kickoff...

3:52 - Prescott Burgess picks off Brady Quinn and returns it for a TD. The beginning of the end. I chug a beer.

4:05 - Chinedum Ndukwe picks off Chad Henne and returns it to the 1. Hope springs eternal and then...

4:07 - ...Brady to Ashley McConnell, TOUCHDOWN IRISH!!! I am yelling at the TV so loud that I scare Earl and I am cursing everything that the state of Michigan stands for.

4:15 - My celebration is short lived however because the next thing I know - Chad Henne to Mario Manningham for a touchdown, "Dad, where the fuck was our cornerback?" Beer.

4:17 - Fumble on the kickoff...

4:23 - ... touchdown Michael Hart. "Dad, we're in trouble." 2 Beers.

4:30 - Chad Henne to Mario Manningham for a touchdown. "Dad... WHERE THE FUCK IS OUR CORNERBACK?" "Jason, I don't know but wherever he is- HE SUCKS!" We drink to that.

4:45 - Chad Henne to Mario Manningham for a touchdown. Michigan 34 - ND 7. "Dad, our secondary sucks ass and Brady looks like a little bitch today." Beers galore. Life is over.

5:10 - By this point I am drunk, the Irish are getting beat down like Kunta Kinte and I would rather crawl into a hole than have to watch the rest of this game.

5:35 - This is ridiculous. All of the sudden Tyrone (I'm a better golfer/liar/piece of shit than I am a football coach) Willingham has returned to coach us. No first downs in the 3rd quarter? Honestly, NO FIRST DOWNS IN THE 3RD QUARTER? What is this, Cheech and Chong come to South Bend?

5:45 - I wish they would get Brady out of there because he is going to get killed and if he does, our season, in effect, really is over.

5:48 - Tommy Z- please sucker punch Chad Henne.

5:53 - I try to decipher what needs to happen for us to get to BCS Championship Game. In this state I am having difficulty comprehending how to use my cell phone, but nevertheless I give it a try. Hmm, let's see...

6:10 - ... after over 15 minutes I have figured out that everyone needs to lose a game in the month of November except us and thats about it. My head hurts too much to think too deep into this one.

6:15 - Brady Quinn throws a nice pass to Rhema McKnight and he makes an incredible catch. The only reason I bring this up is because it was #1 on top plays on SportsCenter that night.

6:30 - Brady fumbles, Michigan returns it for a score to put the exclamation point on the game. My parents get ready to leave, I sit alone on the couch and shed a tear for our broken season.

9:00 - After seeing that Miami got destroyed, Florida State is going down in a blaze of glory, and the loser of the Florida - Tennessee game is screwed I feel a little better. The decision to go to Morgantown is made and it is the best one all day.

So, that is how the worst day of football happened. High hopes were crushed by the direct disobedience of a few. Ambrose Wooden, Terrail Lambert- you should feel shame. We still love you Charlie and Brady, but this week had better be a different story. On Wisconsin and Go Irish!

Observations, Thoughts, Etc.

2006-09-21T18:26:00.000-04:00

Some random thoughts after two weeks of pro ball and three weeks of college ball.

Ohio State is really really good. The offense, and Heisman frontrunner Troy Smith in particular, is extraordinary, and James Laurinaitis has been a monster on what has become a surprisingly fierce defense. This isn't just personal bias talking, but they're gonna kill Penn State on Saturday, and it's gonna be tough for any team in the country to beat them.
West Virginia is also pretty strong. Granted, they haven't played anyone yet, but they've looked impressive. Steve Slaton is one hell of a running back, and I would not be surprised to see them in the BCS title game.
Pitt, on the other hand, is still mediocre. Sure, they can beat up on the Citadel and other lowly teams, but they still can't compete with an above average BCS conference team. Their tackling is still awful, and until that improves expect more losses to good offensive teams.
Good thing JoePa scheduled a tough team like Youngstown State the week before playing the #1 team in the nation.
The Steelers will be fine as long as no other bizarre mishaps occur. Jacksonville's a very good team, and the Steelers had an off game. Nothing more, nothing less.
The US is screwed in the Ryder Cup.
Even if Freddy Sanchez doesn't win the batting title, the fact that he has done what he has is remarkable, and it shows how poorly Dave Littlefield and Jim Tracy have evaluated talent.
Speaking of the Pirates, don't get your hopes up because of their recent success. They've done this before at the end of the season, and then things fall apart at the beginning of the next.
This week's game against the Bengals is gonna be a bloodbath. It's gonna come down to who has enough players still walking.
Why did i draft Aaron Brooks for my fantasy team again? Fuck.
Notre Dame is not as bad as they looked against Michigan.
Michigan is not as good as they looked against Notre Dame.
I'm out of things to write about.

NFL Preview, Cieslinski Style

2006-09-06T19:16:00.000-04:00

"Baseball is what we were. Football is what we have become." - Marty McGrory

And so it begins...the 2006 NFL season.

Last year's season for Steeler fans was joyous, agonizing, and all adjectives in between. Can anyone remember a season that had as many highs and lows as 2005? At least the highest point came at the end, when our boys raised the Lombardi Trophy for the first time in 26 years and NFL-record tying fifth in team history. Indeed, nothing could top the craziness that was last season...except for the offseason.

In the seven months since Super Bowl XL, Santonio Holmes has been arrested twice before every playing in a regular season game, Ben Roethlisberger nearly died in a motorcycle accident and just last week he had his appendix taken out and will miss at least the opener against the Dolphins. Hines Ward and Joey Porter made not-so-subtle comments about how their contract situations were handled, and Bill Cowher's recent purchase of a North Carolina home has fueled speculation that this year will be his last on the sidelines. Who knew that a 22-man battle royal on a field would actually be a return to calm and normalcy?

The 2006 Steelers have lost a few key components from their Super Bowl champion team, including Jerome Bettis, Kimo von Oelhoffen, and Antwaan Randle El, but there is absolutely no reason to think that this team can't win it all again. Bettis, despite being the unquestioned heart and soul of this team for the past ten years, had become a situational player in 2005, and Duce Staley and Willie Parker can easily duplicate what he did last year. As for his leadership, this team has tons of it on both sides of the ball, and finding a new motivator will not be a problem. von Oelhoffen was getting old, and Brett Keisel provides a younger, faster, and likely better replacement. As for Randle El, his abilities will be missed, but not as much as people think. He was an average receiver, catching only one TD last year, and Hines Ward and Cedric Wilson are both able to throw good passes on those tricky sneaky gadget plays. Santonio Holmes or Willie Reid are both better #3 receivers than Randle El.

As for the returning players, well, there's a reason they won it all last year. Ben Roethlisberger is in amazing shape, appendectomy notwithstanding, and when he is healthy he will show that he is a top-tier NFL quarterback. Parker was incredible in his first season as a starter, and I expect him to be even better this year. Hines Ward will put up his usual solid numbers while being the best blocking WR in football, and Heath Miller will drastically improve on his strong rookie season. The offensive line, as always, will be nearly impenetrable, and will send at least two guys to the Pro Bowl.

On defense, it's more of the same: a line that distracts the offensive line, linebackers that blitz like crazy, and defensive backs that knock the shit out of opposing players. Casey Hampton does not put up big numbers, but he is such a disruptive player that he goes to the Pro Bowl every year and is considered among the best tackles in the league. The Steelers may have the best linebacker corps in the NFL, with Larry Foote and Clark Haggans becoming emerging stars, and Joey Porter and James Farrior showing no signs of slowing down.

The secondary looks to be the Steelers' best since the Rod Woodson/Carnell Lake/Darren Perry days. Troy Polamalu might be the best defensive player in the league, as he can do just about anything. His random blitzing, incredible athleticism, and insatiable thirst for hitting give offensive coordinators migraines. Ryan Clark replaces Chris Hope at free safety...for now at least. Rookie Anthony Smith was amazing in the preseason, and it seems to be only a matter of time before he is the starter. At cornerback, Deshea Townsend is a late bloomer, and despite playing very well the past couple seasons, you have to wonder if age will start catching up to him. On the other side, Ike Taylor is young, athletic, and poised to have a breakout season. If he can hold on to some interceptions, the extension he just signed will be a brilliant investment.

The special teams are...well...good. Nothing big to say there. Jeff Reed is awesome, and Chris Gardocki is the model of consistency.

On paper, this team is just as good if not better than last year's team. However, a tougher schedule and a much stronger AFC North will make their road to a repeat a lot rougher. I look for them to go 12-4, win the division....and once again I'm not gonna pick them to win it all. They'll lose a home playoff game in the divisional round.

And now the rest of the NFL

DIVISION CHAMPS
AFC East: Miami Dolphins. They got better, and the rest of the division got a lot weaker.
AFC South: Jacksonville Jaguars. Indy will miss Edgerrin James more than you think, and Jacksonville is a hell of a team.
AFC West: Denver Broncos. A decent team in a lousy division. The Chiefs might be a challenge, but they aren't as good as Denver.
Wild Card teams: Indianapolis and Kansas City.

NFC East: New York Giants. Provided Eli Manning plays better than he did at the end of '05. Washington will contend also.
NFC North: Chicago Bears. They are a mediocre team, but the rest of the North is pathetic.
NFC South: Carolina Panthers. There isn't a team in the conference that can compete with them.
NFC West: Seattle Seahawks. Arizona will end their reign in '07, but for now the 'Hawks are still the best.
Wild Card teams: Washington and St. Louis.

SUPER BOWL: Carolina over Jacksonville in the Expansion Bowl.

RANDOM PREDICTIONS

This will finally be the year the Patriots don't make the playoffs. They have lost too many good players, and may be on the verge of rebuilding. Phil Simms and the entire ESPN workforce will kill themselves as a result of this.
Thanks to Steve Smith and Keyshawn Johnson, Jake Delhomme will put up Marino-like numbers en route to the NFL MVP. His amazing season will be capped off with a Super Bowl title.
The Bengals will go 7-9 a year after their first playoff berth since 1990. There are too many off the field issues, and that leads to problems on the field. Just ask the Portland Trailblazers.
Arizona will go 8-8, thanks to an offense that will be nearly unstoppable, and thanks to a defense that is still ho-hum. One or two more good players on D, and the Cards are gonna be beasts.
Detroit and Houston will also be better, but then again, how could they have gotten any worse.
San Francisco will still suck. When you think about what that team was like in the 80s and 90s, and what they are now, it's sad.
Terrell Owens will wear out his welcome very quickly in Dallas, and in the offseason will be seeking a trade.
Art Shell may be back, but his Tecmo Super Bowl squad of the 80s and early 90s isn't. Even with Randy Moss, Jerry Porter, and Lamont Jordan, the Raiders are going nowhere.
"With the first pick of the 2007 NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select Brady Quinn, quarterback, Notre Dame."
"With the second pick of the 2007 NFL Draft, the New York Jets select Troy Smith, quarterback, The Ohio State University."
The Steelers will trade up and get Tedd Ginn with the 8th pick. Okay that's wishful thinking, but damn that would be sweet.

Until next time...GO STEELERS.

College Football Preview!

2006-08-30T20:48:00.000-04:00

I lied to myself.

There is no escaping the magic of college football. The sight of 85,000 fans storming the field after a big upset, the sound of the bands playing the fight songs, and the articles on the latest Miami player to get suspended. I guess I always will be enamored with it. I'll always cheer Ohio State and Pitt, boo Penn State and Notre Dame, and for at least another year, I'm gonna write a preview. Here's my take on a few local teams, and to shut up Kamo, Notre Dame.

Pitt Panthers: After a disastrous 5-6 campaign, Dave "Wann-stache" Wannstedt put together maybe the best recruiting class Pitt has had since the Marino era. A couple more offseasons like that, and we could see a return to glory for the blue and gold. As for this year, it's a toss-up. The team is very young and will rely on several freshmen to play important roles. However, there is great leadership on the team. Tyler Palko will hopefully return to his 2004 form after an average '05, and help out the incredibly young receiving corps. On defense, CB Darrelle Revis and LB H.B. Blades will get All-American consideration, and hopefully they will have a decent line in front of them (and even if they don't these two will put up good numbers). While an 8 or 9 win season isn't impossible considering their home schedule, a more realistic figure would be 7-5 with a shitty bowl appearance.

Penn State: Last year's astounding 11-1 campaign has all the blue and white homos chanting "We Are Penn State!" (yes, we know. It's on that stupid shirt you always wear) and proclaiming that JoePa hasn't lost it. Sorry, folks. Not only has Paterno lost it, but the team has lost most of it's big players from last year. They have taken a step back, and in a conference where several teams have taken a step forward, don't expect another BCS berth. Sure, Derrick Williams and Paul Posluszsns...whatever, could have big years, but not many others on the team will. That includes Anthony Morelli, who I hope experiences unconscionable pain in Columbus on September 23. Look for Penn State, like Pitt, to go 7-5, and to get creamed by Notre Dame in a couple weeks.

West Virginia: WVU might make it to the BCS title game without breaking a sweat. They are talented, they are young, and they play in what is easily the weakest BCS conference. Their only challenges should be at Louisville and at Pitt (and based on what they did to Pitt last year, that won't be much of a challenge). Barring some unforeseen disaster, look for the Mountaineers to go at least 11-1 and possibly make it to the big game.

(sigh) Notre Dame: Alright, I admit...they're good. Very good. On offense, at least. But their defense allowed over 400 yards a game last year, and in the Fiesta Bowl Ohio State ran all over them en route to an ugly 34-20 victory. This year the Irish return QB and Heisman frontrunner Brady Quinn and 8 foot tall receiver Jeff Samardjsjzfi...what the fuck is up with all these consonants in people's names? Anyway, their offense is more than good enough to take them to Arizona, but their defense is very shaky, and with games at USC and at home against that team up north (Michigan), this may be another year that those overzealous fans are disappointed.

The Ohio State University: Last year the Buckeyes came ten points away from playing for the national title, and they proved their worth in that Fiesta Bowl rout. This year, it seems as though most if not all the pieces are in place for another championship. They have Michigan and Penn State at home, and they are returning just about everyone on offense. And my God, what an offense that can be. Troy Smith, Tedd Ginn, Anthony Gonzalez, Antonio Pittman, and freshman phenom Chris Wells, not to mention a beastly line. This offense could remind OSU fans of the mid-90s John Cooper juggernauts that scored at will until the Michigan game. The defense is another story. They lost 9 starters, including all the linebackers and defensive backs. I'm not too worried about it though, because Jim Tressel is a defensive genius. Much like Bill Cowher, he can take just about anyone and turn them into a defensive star. And even if the D struggles, there aren't many teams that will be able to keep up with the offense. I want to say the Bucks will run the table and win it all, but there are some brutal games on there, including a week 2 road trip to #2 Texas, and a September 30 meeting with Iowa in...wherever in Iowa they play. I expect them to go at least 11-1, and definitely play in at least the Rose Bowl.

More Observations and Predictions

September 9: Notre Dame 41 - Penn State 10
The Heisman winner won't be Brady Quinn or Troy Smith, but rather someone that comes out of nowhere and has a mind-blowing season.
Charlie Weis will lose two games in a row (USC being one of them), and fans will begin to question whether or not he is a good coach.
While we're on the subject, Notre Dame will once again lose a bowl game. With at least three losses, Notre Dame fans will start registering "fireweis.com" and similar web addresses.
Speaking of fans that are too self-righteous. After a 2-2 start, the "JoePa must retire" movement will start again. After three straight wins, he'll be back and better than ever. After another loss, they'll doubt him again, and after two more...you get the point. Guys, learn about football and how the college game has evolved, and realize that indeed it is time for a change. Or you could just sit there and still revel in your 1986 championship and expect people to still give a damn about that or you guys. You might wanna do that to distract yourselves on the 23rd.
The BCS title game will not feature anyone from the SEC or Big Ten. Those conferences are too good at the top, and the teams will cancel each other out.
USC will be back in the title game for the third straight year. They may have lost Bush and Leinart, but they can reload, and the rest of the Pac 10 still has not caught up to them.
Jan. 8. Glendale, AZ. USC 31 - WVU 17.

NEXT WEEK: NFL PREVIEW?

The NFL

2006-08-26T16:54:00.000-04:00

Well the computer's finally fixed, and I finally have the motivation to finish this project. What was originally expected to take a month has taken over three, but it was worth the wait, right? Um, yeah let's just get on with my analysis of the NFL.

WHAT'S RIGHT:

1. Fair and Balanced. The reason the NFL is now far and away the biggest sports league in the country is the fact that it's economic system is built around equality. The salary cap prevents even the wealthiest franchises from being like the Yankees and Red Sox and outspending the other teams for the top players. This also means that any franchise is theoretically never more than a year or two away from becoming a Super Bowl team. I say theoretically because you still need to make good front office moves (see the Bengals of the 90s).

2. Limited Chances to See Your Team. A classic example of supply and demand. You only get to see your team play 16 times all year, including only 8 at home. So naturally ratings are high, and fans will be willing to pay a lot to see their teams play. That's why even the crappiest teams can still draw about 50,000 a game.

3. Marketing Genius. I don't know if the Super Bowl was integrated into popular culture, or the other way around, but the game has now become both the sports and entertainment event of the year. It's almost gotten to the point that the game is secondary to the 11 hours of pregame shows and the halftime extravaganza (on a little aside, watching the Stones perform at a Super Bowl which the Steelers won was pretty damn cool). Regardless, the marriage of the game and the media orgy has done nothing but good for the NFL.

4. Harsh Steroid Punishments. Okay, maybe the league isn't perfectly clean, but at least the ones that do get caught face stiff penalties. A fourth of the season for the first offense, the whole year for a second, and I think a lifetime ban for a third. But what really makes this good is the fact that it has been around for a long time, unlike the joke of a drug policy that baseball has only recently enacted.

5. Have I mentioned that the Steelers won the Super Bowl last year?

WHAT'S WRONG:

1. Steroids. Despite the testing and the penalties, it seems as though most of these players are still on something. It is just not natural for a 6'6", 360 lb. lineman to be running a 4.5 40.

2. Players Getting Too Big. In recent years, several players on every level have died, and in most cases those players were freakin huge (Korey Stringer). It's not just unnatural for such large players to be doing such strenuous physical activity; it's unhealthy. When you look at how the number of players over 300 lbs. has exploded over the past 15 years, it's no wonder some of these players' hearts are exploding during training camp. Some teams do penalize their players for being overweight and out of shape, but it's not enough, and the league needs to step in and find a way to prevent these tragedies.

3. Legal Issues. The recent arrests of several young players (Chris Henry, Santonio Holmes, "Pacman" Jones, Henry again, Holmes again, Henry AGAIN, Jones again, the rest of the Bengals) has become an alarming trend. The NFL seems to have replaced the NBA as the league with all the criminals (of course, OJ didn't help matters), and in time that could seriously harm the league's image it could fall from the top of the sports world.

4. Terrell Owens. No matter what a player may get arrested for, he will never be hated more than T.O. The man has already destroyed two successful teams, and is embarking on a new one, the Dallas Cowboys. His big mouth, his asshole agent, and ESPN's constant coverage of both has made him one of the faces of the NFL, and like the arrests above, that's not a good thing for the league's image.

5. The New Commish. Roger Goodell may be a fine pick for commissioner, but he has some really big shoes to fill. The past two commissioners have brought us the Super Bowl, the AFL-NFL merger, the salary cap, some ridiculously lucrative TV deals, and unparalleled success and stability for the league. Now, it is up to Goodell to maintain that and maybe even create a new revolution in pro football. Can he pull this off, or will he crack under the pressure? I hope for the former.

Hopefully, you enjoyed this (actually I don't care if you were miserable reading this. It's your dumbass fault for wasting the time), and if I have the time/energy before I leave for the beach on Thursday, I'll do a college football preview.

NFL Training Camp Preview - NFC North

2006-08-14T20:34:00.001-04:00

by Kamo

The first round of preseason games has come and gone with some rookies making a big splash and a certain quarterback in Pittsburgh looking surprisingly sharp in his first appearance. Speaking of looking sharp, how about those new jerseys in Minnesota- they make the color purple look even worse. We move to the NFC North and if last season taught us anything it is that this is no longer the rough and tumble division it used to be. This division from top to bottom might be the weakest in the NFC and it would surprise me to see more than one team challenge for a playoff berth. It is a sad truth considering this division is home to one of the best quarterbacks to ever play in Brett Farve, who will likely be playing his last season. In addition, the Detroit Lions on paper have one of the most talented receiving corps in the NFL but will do nothing in the way of being very competitive. What you have here is an overabundance of wasted talent and poor personel decisions that have caught up to a few teams...

... which is why we will begin in Detroit where the aformentioned group of receivers will no doubt be under fire considering Mike Martz has brought his circus offense to MoTown. I have sympathy for the fans in Detroit because Matt Millen is the NFL's equivalent of Dave Littlefield and it is difficult to comprehend some of his personel moves. Exhibit A: He took receivers in his first pick for 3 consecutive drafts while all but ignoring his glaring holes at many defensive positions. That said, Roy Williams is very good and I do think that Mike Williams will be vastly improved this season and that basically gives them two monsters at receiver. Charles Rogers is the wild card here though because you have to think he will be given more than ample opportunity to succeed in what should be a pass happy offense. The problem is that he is lazy and is in the Plaxico Burress mode except without a guy like Hines Ward to chirp at him and keep him in line so stay tuned to see how that one plays out. They also have Corey Bradford available after they signed him away from Houston in the off-season and speedster Eddie Drummond who could be used like Az Zahir-Hakim was in St. Louis. In the backfield, I really like Kevin Jones and what he brings to the table because he runs so hard. Jones had over 1100 yards rushing last year with Joey Harrington as the main threat at QB, and with Martz as the OC I look for him to approach those numbers again and to really be a threat in the passing game. In addition, it never hurts to have a guy like Cory Schlesinger as your blocking back as he is a perennial Pro-Bowler. At QB, it appears that Jon Kitna will be the starter with another marginal guy in Josh McKown as the backup. To me anything is an uprgrade over Harrington because he was among the worst in the entire NFL at making the right decision on any given play. Kitna played well when he was given the chance in Cincinnatti, but it has been awhile since he has been the full-time starter on a team which makes me wonder if he can do the job.

On defense the name of the game is depth and the Lions have very little of it in the quality department. Up front Shaun Cody and Shawn Rogers are two solid interior d-lineman who are somewhat of an odd couple. Rogers tips the scales at around 345 pounds while Cody is a bit small by today's standards at 293, but together they are able to make some plays. On the outside Cory Redding is versatile as he can probably play any line position and James Hall is quietly becoming a dominant pass rusher off the right end. From what I can see Kalimba Edwards is the only reserve along the line who I would be comfortable stepping in a not seeing a dramatic drop-off in production. At linebacker, if Boss Bailey can avoid injuries he has the makings of a breakout season written all over him but after Bailey there isn't much else. Alex Lewis is probably just keeping a spot warm for Ernie Sims, a player that I think was among the most overrated in the draft, and Paris Lenon was a free-agent pickup from Green Bay but he doesn't give off the impression that he will be anything more than adequate. In the secondary, Fernando Bryant and Kenoy Kennedy are solid veterans as is Dre' Bly, who is entering his 8th season and in my opinion gets better with age. Terrence Holt will play free safety by default because the secondary might be the most thin of any unit on that defense.

Detroit Lions
Offense - B-: This one is a tough one because for some reason I believe Mike Martz will get a lot of production out of those receivers and if he does there might not be a better group top to bottom in the NFL. Kevin Jones should be licking his chops in this offense and if Kitna makes a few plays and limits the mistakes they might not be bad.

Defense - C+: This grade might be a bit generous considering their lack of depth and quality playmakers among the linebacking group but having an athlete like Boss Bailey nudges them up a bit. The bottom line with the defense is that in any one area they are a pulled hamstring away from having someone who is just plain not very good in there.

Overall Outlook: I like Jon Kitna... as a backup. I just don't think this team has enough players to be consistent from week to week and the depth to me should be a major concern. Kevin Jones, Roy Williams, Bailey, and possibly Mike Williams will all have good years, but they have a lot of holes to fill at some important places. The verdict: They need a better QB for this offense and going much better than 5-11 or 6-10 would be outstanding.

We continue our look at the NFC North with a trip to Minnesota and a look at how new Head Coach Brad Childress is working with less in Vikings camp. In the spring Childress essentially sent this message when trading franchise QB Duante Culpepper to the Dolphins: Do things my way or find a new place to do things. This approach is something that I have a lot of respect for but unfortunately for Childress and the Vikings he left the offense in the hands of Brad Johnson, a player who has been in the league since the Oilers were still the Oilers and Jerry Glanville was coaching in Atlanta. To make matters slightly better for the passing game, Troy Williamson will be entering his second season after ending up 3rd among rookies in receiving and Koren Robinson is coming off a trip to the Pro Bowl- albeit as a kick returner. Throw in a couple veterans in Travis Taylor and Marcus Robinson and this group at least has some potential. The Vikings hopes on offense however rest on the broad shoulders of two big free agents brought in this past offseason: Steve "The 49 Million Dollar Man" Hutchinson and Chester "Thank God I am out of Baltimore" Taylor. Now I am not one to talk offensive lines, but Hutchinson is damn good and if you doubt that ask Stephen Alexander how things are going this season without him. Sprinkle in Taylor, a player many think is on the brink of stardom, and the Vikings have reason to think that Childress was on to something when he sent Culpepper packing.

On defense, I love what the Vikings have done through the draft in getting solid defensive lineman like Kenechi Udeze, Darrion Scott, Erasmus James, and Kevin Williams. If Udeze can bounce back from injury and James doesn't stunt his own growth this season, those two will be absolute studs. Scott is one of the better young backups to have and even DeQuincy Scott provides a solid backup off the end. Inside there is Kevin Williams and veteran Pat Williams, who looks much bigger than his listed weight of 317 suggests. The depth along the interior is a cause for concern because those big guys can only play in spurts- something that should and probably will hold this defense back a bit. At linebacker Ben Leber starts at one outside spot while E.J. Henderson will be manning the position opposite him. Henderson has been getting some good reviews in camp but the player that excites me is rookie Chad Greenway out of Iowa. This kid is Big Ten tested and he is as tough as anyone and if I was Ben Leber I wouldn't get too comfortable... except for the fact that Greenway was lost for the season Monday night against the Raiders which is no doubt a tough break for Minnesota. In the middle, Napolean Harris was the player they got for Randy Moss and while he was limited by injuries in '05 he seems to have tremendous potential. I like what the Vikings have done in the secondary with Darren Sharper obviously leading the way with his 9 interceptions from last season coming with him. Fred Smoot can at least talk smack if he doesn't cover the guy and Antoine Winfield has really established himself as one of the better tackling corners in the NFL. Veteran Dwight Smith will play free safety and he is more than adequate but the safety I look to watch for is Greg Blue out of Georgia. A lot of people say he is a little slow, but believe me- this guy can play as he is always around the ball and was a steal in the 5th round.

Minnesota Vikings
Offense - B-: This offense isn't anything really special and the consistency won't be there because I honestly don't see Brad Johnson getting it going. With that said, Chester Taylor should-emphasis on should- have a big year but unless defenses respect the pass that won't automatically happen. I think he'll get 1,000 yards but I'm not sure how much more.

Defense - A-: I am feeling a little generous but I really like this defense and what they have in the way of a solid mix of young guys and veterans. Udeze and Erasmus James are going to be very good players and E.J. Henderson is going to be a good one. Sharper is one of the NFL's best and there aren't many holes in the secondary. The problem is they are going to have to give up less than 14 to keep them in it.

Overall Outlook: I think Brad Childress will get this thing going, but not this season. He needs a slightly better quarterback to run this offense and without a legitimate threat there I would load up against the run and make Johnson beat me. Childress is in a good position here because they have a good defense and Culpepper's image with his connection to the sex party was tarnished anyway. The verdict: They are a player or two away, but equaling last years 9-7 wouldn't be too bad. I think 8-8 and look out next season.

We head over to Chicago next where the Bears make me laugh outloud at their running back situation. Thomas Jones, former #1 pick Cedric Benson, and Adrian Peterson (relax idiots, its not THAT Adrian Peterson) are in the mix for playing time. However, a look at the Bears' depth chart suggests otherwise. Now I know there has been a few injuries but c'mon people, at least stick them on the depth chart where they belong. On the serious side, the injuries are a cause for major concern because this team won last year on defense- period. Chicago finished ahead of only San Francisco in total offense, an ill that needs to be cured if this team thinks it is going anywhere come playoff time. Enter Brian Griese. Wait, Brian Griese? Yes, Brian Griese and for one reason: He will make Rex Grossman better. Grossman is a good quarterback without a lot of experience on the field and with a lot of experience in the trainer's room as injuries have cost him time the past 3 years. I think having an entire training camp with Mushin Muhammad is going to do a lot for him because that guy is an animal. He is so physical when going after the football and he runs excellent routes. The issue is that there is not an established #2 receiver and so he can expect a lot of double coverage. How to fix that? Get Desmond Clark the football and make sure that, when healthy, Benson and Jones hammer it inside. The Bears are going to have to get physical in order to win- something Lovie Smith understands.

Speaking of being physical, is there a better defense in the NFC (and possibly the league outside of Pittsburgh) than in Chicago? The answer: A resounding no. When talking about the Bears defense there is only one place to start- Brian Urlacher. This guy is one of the top 5 defensive players in the NFL and there are few who can run and hit like him. He is a freak of nature and lining next to him is fellow Pro-Bowler Lance Briggs, a player who is often overshadowed by the fact he plays beside a guy like Urlacher. Toss in Hunter Hillenmeyer (don't let the Vanderbilt education and the prep school name fool you, this guy hits) and the linebackers leave little to be desired. The men up front who are responsible for allowing those 'backers to roam are pretty good as Alex Brown and Tommie Harris are young guys they got in the draft who are coming into their own. Add in Adewale Ogunleye, whom they stole from the Dolphins, and Alfonso Boone and then try to figure out how to run the ball. Oh, and they have a little depth too with Dusty Dvoracek and Jamaal Green being quality backups. In the secondary, Mike Brown is a hitter who plays centerfield well against the pass while Nathan Vasher and Charles Tillman are underrated as corners. Throw in Ricky Manning Jr. and the newly drafted Devin Hester and this defense is absolutely stacked.

Chicago Bears
Offense - B: The Bears offense doesn't need to be pretty, just effective. The formula for success is simple: Run it a lot, pass when needed, don't turn it over. This makes Grossman's job crucial because he can't be a cowboy and just throw it into places that the ball doesn't need to be thrown. He would be wise to study some tape of Ben Roethlisberger. One word for the offense: Physical.

Defense - A+: Not a better defense in the NFC and not a defense that is going to give up a lot against the run. Your best hope is to pick on the secondary, but Nathan Vasher and Charles Tillman are pretty good in their own regard. They fly to the ball and play well as a unit.

Overall Outlook: This team is undoubtedly the class of the division but where they go from there hinges on the offense's ability to score points. The defense will keep them in it most games and so they just need to come up with enough. Plus, they play in a division that is favorable in that it isn't very good so that will help. The verdict: 11-5 or 10-6 with a shot at winning 12 games but the November schedule is brutal. Playoff bound but how far remains to be seen.

And finally in the NFC North we head to Packertown as the fans in Green Bay get ready for what will likely be Brett Farve's last season. As far as Farve goes, I have always admired the way the man plays the game because there are few who can rival him in both intensity and a will to win. With that said, in order for the Packers to have any chance of winning he is going to have to be vastly improved from his 2005 campaign. While I am willing to cut him some slack because of the loss of Ahman Green in week 7 of last year, Farve is no doubt the leader of the offense and as he goes, so do the Packers and 29 INTs will not go very far. Speaking of Green, his return should put a smile on the face of every cheesehead because as good of a story as Samkon Gado was, he will never be Ahman Green. So what do the Packers have on offense besides their two stars? Well, they have a pretty good TE in Bubba Franks and two receivers who are more than capable in Donald Driver and Robert Ferguson. I think Farve has plenty of weapons to make it work, but can new coach Mike McCarthy gel with Farve enough to make allow this to happen? I really don't know the answer to that question but this much is clear: In their first preseason game the Packers did not anything but show that they are far from where they need to be.

On the defensive side of things they got some help from Charles Woodson, who signed as a free agent in May. Pair him up with Al Harris and the Packers have one of the better cornerback combinations in the NFC. This secondary actually shapes up better than I thought with Nick Collins (All-Rookie Team) and free agent pickup Marquand Manuel (started in the Super Bowl) playing at the two safety spots and so I think their pass defense won't be too bad. The problem in the secondary is that outside of Ahmad Carroll, there is nothing in the way of experienced depth which will undoubtedly pose a problem with Woodson having recent health concerns. At linebacker they have a beast in Nick Barnett, who in 2005 had 194 tackles, a franchise record. They drafted A.J. Hawk with the 5th pick in the draft and, much in the same mold as Chad Greenway, his style should fit in well in the Green Bay cold. The wild card here is Ben Taylor who comes over from the Browns and can play all three linebacker spots although he is probably best suited for the outside. Taylor is another tackling machine as he had 139 last season in starting every game for Cleveland and if this unit comes together, they will be very quick and athletic. The biggest questions for the Packers defense comes up front as Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila is their best, and possibly only, playmaker and is a good pass-rusher who is just 10.5 sacks away from Reggie White's club record. Ryan Pickett and Aaron Kampman ranked 1-2 in the NFL in tackles among defensive lineman, but I am uncertain that either is able to rush the passer or simply stuff the run. In addition, DT Colin Cole has be waived twice in his career and so you can understand why the interior line is a big question mark.

Green Bay Packers
Offense - B: I desperately want Farve to have a good year so the man can just ride off into the Louisiana sunset and retire but it will all depend on how Robert Ferguson decides to play and how well Ahman Green runs. Green is as important to Farve as any other player on the team and I look for him to get plenty of touches as he will come close to 1500 total yards this season.

Defense - B: The depth, or lack thereof, is a major cause of concern for me because Woodson has shown he is a little frail and they have a lot of no-names on their two-deep. Gabeer-Biamila has got to have a good season and Pickett is going to have to do a lot in the middle of the line because Colin Cole is not the answer there. The linebackers will be the strength with Hawk being dominant.

Overall Outlook: I think this entire organization knows that Brett Farve is done after this season and that it will be a rallying point. On the flip side, if they falter, his pending retirement could turn into a circus causing this team to tailspin and not finish much better than last year. With a new coach, a Hall of Fame QB, and a lot of questions a fast start to this season is a must. If they are worse than 2-2 after their first 4 they are in trouble. The Verdict: If they start out well, they will challenge but I don't think emotion can take them far. 9-7 and a possible Wild Card berth with some luck.

This division is interesting from the standpoint of how much has changed from last year. Their are new coaches and some new players which will make for some excitement in the season's opening weeks, but the bottom line is the Bears are still the class of the NFC North. Minnesota and Green Bay will challenge and Detroit will be excited about the Tigers until the Yankees beat them to get into the World Series. So, stay tuned where next time we will look at the NFC South: Is this the Panthers year? Will Michael Vick finally get the Falcons over the hump? Are the Buccaneers ready for primtime? And will Reggie Bush be Rookie of the Year? Until then, enjoy the Little League World Series.

NFL Training Camp Preview - NFC East

2006-08-01T20:17:00.000-04:00

by Kamo

Ahhhhhhhh... I promised myself I would give it until August to write about football and thank God that August is here. Between watching a very bad Pirates team and the World Series of Darts I feel like I could rip my eyes out and my ears off and not miss much in the way of sporting events right now. With that said, NFL training camps have opened everywhere and there may not be a more improved division from top to bottom than the NFC East. With Terrell Owens heading to Dallas, Lavar Arrington heading to the Giants, and the Redskins adding just about every marginal wide receiver on the market during their annual brainless spending spree, this division has the makings of being solid if not spectacular.

We'll start out in Washington where Antwaan Randle El and Brandon Lloyd (those of the aformentioned marginal variety) join the offense as well as Al Saunders, the team's new offensive coordinator who came over from the Chiefs. After seeing what the Chiefs offense did under Saunders' direction it is no wonder that the fans of Redskin Nation are frothing over what could potentially be brewing. With Patrick Ramsey being traded to the Jets, Mark Brunell returns as the incumbent at quarterback with 2nd year man Jason Campbell not far behind. The receving corps will be deep and is full of small, quick receivers like Santana Moss (5'10) and Randle El (5'10), as well as David Patten, Taylor Jacobs, and Lloyd, who was the 49ers leading receiver last season. There is not a single receiver in the group over 6'0 which makes me wonder who will go over the middle. At tight end they are solid with free agent pickup Christian Fauria as well as Chris Cooley, who had 71 receptions last year. The player that really gets the offense going however is Clinton Portis and he returns with his franchise-record 1,516 yards from last year in tow. A perenial Pro-Bowler and one of the top-5 backs in the NFL, Portis will be the difference between a division title and the 'Skins sitting at home come January. Look for him to have a big season in the Redskins new scheme and to possibly eclipse his totals from last year.

On defense for the Redskins, the loss of Arrington will not be felt as much as his presence in New York will be and they picked up Adam Archuleta to replace the departed Ryan Clark at safety. Sean Taylor will continue his meteoric rise to the NFL's elite safeties and by the end of this season he should be getting mentioned in the same breath as Troy Polamalu and Ed Reed. The Redskins signed Andre Carter away from the 49ers in a deal that may turn out to be one of their best because it seems that he is finally coming into his own as a pass-rusher off the edge. Throw in Renaldo Wynn and big Joe Salave'a up front and you have the makings of a very solid d-line. Which brings me to the loss of Arrington and I don't think it will be a major loss if for no other reason than he missed most of last season. If Marcus Washington and Warrick Holdman can be slightly better than average the linebackers shouldn't be that big of a question mark. In addition, their first draft pick was Roger McIntosh out of Miami who could be looked upon to come in and make an immediate impact.

Washington Redskins
Offense - B: Under the eye of Al Saunders, Portis should be stellar and the receivers might prove me wrong and be better than average. If Brunell can put together a good season and keep the interceptions under 15, this offense could be scary.

Defense - B-: The secondary is tough with Shawn Springs being very underrated in my book and the safeties should complement each other well. The obvious question mark is the linebacking group, but if they play well they might be ok. Besides, if the offense scores like the Chiefs did they won't have to make too many plays.

Overall Outlook: The Redskins will challenge for the "Top Dog" status in the NFC East and if the defense can make some plays they just might get there. I think they are a solid team, the problem is so are the other 3 in this division. The verdict: Will challenge for the Wild Card at 10-6.

Next we head up north a little ways to Philadelphia where you-know-who is no longer wearing an Eagles uniform and Donovan McNabb swears he is ready to put that whole soap opera behind him. Of the four teams in this division, the Eagles probably have more question marks than any of them- especially in the receiving corps because this group is below average and quite possibly among the worst in the NFL. There is not a single playmaker among them and outside of Todd Pinkston and, maybe on a good day, Jabar Gaffney, there is not really much of a proven threat. On the bright side, L.J. Smith is probably one of the top 10 tight ends in the league and Bryant Westbrook is a multi-threat playmaker who is going to get 25-30 touches per game and should have a great year. Of course, having McNabb back and without the distraction of someone questioning his manhood gives the Eagles the best QB in the division. I don't know if he is going to be enough because Andy Reid says that he is dedicated to the run and if Westbrook can't handle the load I'm not so sure if Ryan Moats can do much to help.

If the offense has question marks, the defense might have some answers as the front-7 should rebound from a horrendous 2005 campaign. Jevon Kearse, Jerome McDougal, Dhani Jones, Jeremiah Trotter, and Mark Simoneau will be the anchors of that group and if Kearse can pressure the QB that would allow an up and coming secondary to make some plays. The leader of that secondary will once again be Brian Dawkins who will hit you like a train and then run an interception back 70 yards for a touchdown on the next play. Lito Sheppard, Roderick Hood, and Micheal Lewis are all 6th year guys who have been playing together for quite some time and have discovered good chemistry for their work. They are pretty deep too with Shawn Barber at LB and J.R. Reed and Sheldon Brown providing depth in the secondary. This defense is pretty good and it is going to have to be because the offense may not be there.

Philadelphia Eagles
Offense - C+: McNabb is one of the best and Westbrook is talented, but the WRs are borderline terrible. They just don't have too many playmakers in that group and unless L.J. Smith makes a huge splash I am not sure where those 3rd and 6 or 3rd and 5 conversions are going to come from.

Defense - B+: I like what the Eagles have here and I think there is a lot of potential for good things here. Kearse is still and elite player to me and I think that Trotter and Simoneau both play about as hard as you can. The secondary is pretty good but with that offense I don't think any other this matters.

Overall Outlook: Not this year Philly. Making it to 8-8 would be a tremendous accomplishment in this division and I am not sure they will do better than last year's 6-10 record. If they are going to, McNabb is going to have to play out of his mind. Final Verdict: 6-10, or maybe 7-9 with a bounce going their way.

Continuing up the East Coast to the New York Giants, we find a new face on defense and a quarterback on the cusp of becoming a star. Eli Manning enters his 3rd year in New York after leading them to the playoffs last season. Manning will have plenty of weapons around him and there is no reason to believe that he won't make the Pro Bowl this year. Speaking of Pro Bowl, RB Freaki Tiki Barber might be the most complete back in the NFL and after last year's monster season he will be largely responsible for helping to complete Manning's rise into the elite QBs of the NFL as it never hurts to have a solid running game to complement a young QB. Manning will also have the services of Plaxico Burress and Amani Toomer coming back at receiver with the addition of 2nd round pick Sinorice Moss out of Miami. Add in loudmouth badass Jeremy Shockey at TE and you have a plethora of weapons surrounding one of the games top young QBs. In a sentence, this offense is scary.

On defense, the addition of Lavar Arrington will prove to be huge as it never hurts to add an athlete like him. By putting Arrington in the defense, the linebackers suddenly go from solid to stellar. Carlos Emmons is a tough veteran and Brandon Short, Arrington's teammate from Penn State, is turning into a very good football player. The backbone of the defense however is veteran Micheal Strahan and the defensive line, which is deep and effective. Strahan is still a superb pass rusher and Osi Umenyiora had a breakout 2005 season when he lead the NFC with 14.5 sacks. Justin Tuck and number one pick Mathias Kiwanuka provide quality backups and the Giants appear to have an embarassment of riches at DE. Finally, 4th year man William Joseph anchors the middle making the Giants front-7 a very tough unit to run on. The only thing holding this defense back is a questionable secondary as the addition of Sam Madison and R.W. McQuarters doesn't inspire the word greatness. Both are veterans, but McQuarters has played for almost every team in the NFC and Madison has lost a step. At safety, I am thinking Quentin Harris will man one postion, but looking over their roster I cannot acurately say who should take over at the other. That says it all as far as the secondary goes.

New York Giants
Offense - A-: With Manning running the show and Freaki Tiki running the ball, the sky is the limit for this offense as long as either Toomer or Moss proves to be a quality option in the passing game. Plex and Shockey are gonna have good years and I look for big things from this team in terms of putting points on the board.

Defense - B+: If we were going strictly on the front-7, I would say "A" but unfortunately 11 people play and the secondary is shaky at best. The good news is that Strahan and Osi will put enough pressure on the quarterback to overcome most of those shaky moments, that bad news is most is not all.

Overall Outlook: This is the team to beat in the NFC East and with last year's playoff debacle under their belt, this team has the potential to make a run deep into the playoffs. I think the Giants win the NFC East and will flirt with a first round bye. The Verdict: This is a good football team- they should win at least 11 games and take the division.

Finally, we head to the Lonestar State and the Dallas Cowboys, which if nothing else should provide the most interesting story line this year. My biggest question in this division is whether or not Terrell Owens and Bill Parcells can make it through a season without choking each other. Parcells is old school. T.O. is anything but. Parcells doesn't put up with much in the way of problems. T.O. has been a problem since the day he left San Francisco. Parcells thinks he can control Owens. I think he is crazy like a fox for trying. Nevertheless, Dallas got the premier wide receiver in the game when they picked up Owens and he immediately gives this offense a shot in the arm because before they picked him up their best receiving threat was Terry Glenn (Jason Witten notwithstanding). Drew Bledsoe was undoubtedly smiling from ear-to-ear when he found out that Owens was coming to Dallas as he now has someone that he can consistently uncork his monster arm on. In addition to Witten, who is quietly becoming one of the best in the game, the Cowboys picked up Weis' Guy Anthony Fasano from Notre Dame so expect a lot of 2 tight end sets this season. The running backs are a decent group with Julius Jones and Marion Barber returning to give the Cowboys a solid 1-2 punch in their backfield. The running back I think you should watch though is Demetris Summers, the rookie who was kicked off the South Carolina team but not before he was their leading rusher.

On defense the Cowboys are led by safety Roy Williams who may be one of the best athletes on the team. He can blitz, play the run, or cover the pass which makes him a hybrid of sorts in the secondary and a poor man's Polamalu. Former #1 pick Terrance Newman is at one cornerback slot while veteran Aaron Glenn and Anthony Henry will compete for the other. Greg Ellis returns to anchor the d-line in the 3-4 along with Marcus Spears, a player who is really starting to come into his own and I think they should expect a big season from him. Jason Ferguson takes control of the DT spot vacated by La'Roi Glover through free agency and look for rookie Montavious Stanley to possibly see time there as well. The linebackers will be lead by phenom DeMarcus Ware who tied for the team lead in sacks and was an all-NFL rookie last season. Ware has a freakish combination of speed and size and is a terror off the end in the 3-4 defense. Also, rookie #1 pick Bobby Carpenter out of Ohio State should make an immediate impact as well as free agent acquisition Rocky Boiman.

Dallas Cowboys
Offense - B+: Adding a guy with the talent of Terrell Owens should always be a positive, but dealing with T.O. is never an easy task. If Parcells can get him to see the big picture and he decides to play with a passion, look out because 1500 yards and 15 TDs is not out of the question. Barber and Jones will be more than adequate in the backfield with Jason Witten and Anthony Fasano being big parts of the passing game for Bledsoe.

Defense - B+: This is not a defense on paper that might look really scary, but Parcells will make this unit tough. Ware is a nightmare coming off the edge and Roy Williams is only going to get better. If the secondary makes some plays and linebackers step up, they have the makings of a good unit.

Overall Outlook: In another division the Cowboys might be the favorite, but this is going to be a dogfight from Week 1. There are a few "ifs" within this team, this biggest obviously being T.O., but I think Parcells might get it done with him. The Wild Card is going to come down to Dallas and Washington and T.O. might be the difference. The Verdict: Dallas will challenge for the Wild Card and be either 10-6 or 9-7. The scary thing is that if T.O. keeps his head out of his hind end they could challenge for the division.

Well, that the NFC East and that is it for tonight. This is a good division that reminds me of the early 90's whenever these four teams used to beat each other down and the November Monday Night Games were among the best ever. If I were a fan of any of these teams I would be excited because they are all so close (except maybe Philly, which could scare some people) and this division should be a good race. Next Up: The NFC North- Can the Bears repeat? Does Farve have one more in him? What is going on in Minnesota? Is Detroit ever going to be good? Find out next time!

The Sport Formerly Known as America's Pastime

2006-07-25T21:11:00.000-04:00

"Welcome to Major League Baseball...sort of." - Harry Doyle, Major League II

I really hate computers. I had been planning on writing my piece on baseball a couple weekends ago, but my computer decided to go a little crazy, and I've spent most of my time dealing with foreign tech support. But since training camp is starting on Friday, meaning the baseball season will be over after Thursday's games, I figure I better get this done.

WHAT'S RIGHT

1. It's still baseball. Even though the sport has been completely jacked up for the better part of twenty years, there is still a soft spot in America's heart for the game. People will always flock to the ballpark on a summer night to catch a game, but anymore you have to wonder if that's a testament to the magic of the game or the great marketing skills of the franchises.

2. Barry Bonds is almost gone. Even though he hasn't been found guilty of anything, be it in a court of law or the kangaroo court of MLB, his nasty reputation and the suspicion around him negates any of his accomplishments. The sport will be much better off when we don't have to see his every at bat and non-stop coverage by Pedro "If I'm up Bonds's ass any more I'll be able to tell you what he's having for dinner tomorrow" Gomez.

3. New York teams do well. From a fan's perspective, nothing could be more annoying. From a business perspective, it's very good when the teams in the biggest markets generate interest. Why? Interest leads to revenue, and revenue is never bad.

4. PNC Park. It's every bit as beautiful as its inhabitants are ugly, and that's no small feat.

5. Actually, I can't think of another thing that's good about the game.

WHAT'S WRONG (What isn't?)

1. Economics. I know it's possible to field a decent team with a smaller payroll, but even then it can't be too small. Also, when people point to the Oakland A's as an example of a team that did a lot with a low payroll, they don't mention that most of those players were under their minor league contracts at the time, and once they were eligible for free agency, they were gone. The economics of baseball are so screwed up that if you can't shell out $150 million, you need to make perfect moves to have any chance of competing. That means scouting the right players at all levels, and signing the right free agents that become productive. In the other sports, there is some margin of error allowed, because everyone is on a level playing field. In baseball, however, most teams start behind the 8-ball, and getting out of the situation is nearly impossible.

2. Steroids. The new drug testing thing is a joke, as there are countless ways to cheat it, and countless substances you can use that cannot be detected in a test. The absurd amount of home runs hit in the past decade cannot just be the result of bad pitching or juiced balls (heh heh, balls). It's obvious these players are doing something bad, but since the homers put asses in seats, the powers that be just sat there and counted their money. Now, as some players (Ken Caminitti) are dying from the effects, and as Congress is stepping in and asking "what the fuck?", they are finally doing something, but it seems to only be smoke and mirrors.

3. The Players Union. The strongest labor union in the country. Can you think of another industry where the employees can name their pay and get it no questions asked? They are the main reason baseball is so out of whack. They refuse to accept a salary cap that would create some sense of equality and benefit the entire league, instead wanting to make as much money as they can, team loyalty and purity of the game be damned. Sure, some owners are just as responsible for actually paying that much, but in most instances they don't have a choice. Kip Wells was awarded over $4 million in an arbitration hearing after leading the majors in losses last year with 18. The Pirates were also forced to overspend on several veterans, such as Jeromy Burnitz and Joe Randa, just to give people the appearance that they were trying to win. Until the less-fortunate owners decide they've had enough and start a financial war, exoect to see more big contracts from the Yankees and Red Sox for both deserving and undeserving players.

4. New York and Boston. When Ben Roethlisberger was drafted by the Steelers, it was a big deal because he was going to a marquee team in a big city. When Sydney Crosby was drafted by the Penguins, journalists from New York hailed the move as a great one for the sport of hockey, since a talented young player was going to a team and city that needed one. It was for the good of the league. So what's so different about the Pittsburgh in which the Pirates play that Major League Baseball does not want to see or care to see their success? The answer is that Pittsburgh is not New York or Boston. For some strange reason, those are the only cities they care about. Watch ESPN at any time and chances are they are analyzing the Yankees' and Red Sox every move. I understand that they are the big markets and have mass appeal, but other teams deserve some attention too. If baseball were to do something to help out the bad franchises (what I don't know, I'm open to suggestions), imagine how much better the sport would be. The Pirates are a prime example. The franchise goes back way before the Yanks and Sox, and they have a history that is just as legendary and prestigious as either one. But no one knows about it anymore because they have been brutalized by poor ownership and bad economics. Now, imagine if baseball were to do something to level the playing field, and suddenly the Pirates were contenders. With all the displaced Pittsburghers around the country (watch a Steeler away game and you'll see), their popularity would skyrocket, and baseball would improve. The big money teams will always get the ratings and the fans, even if some of their power and success were taken away. Adding the rest of the league to that equation would do nothing but good.

5. Bud Selig. Most, if not all, of baseball's problems can be traced back to this goof. He couldn't even get his own franchise, the Milwaukee Brewers, any love, as they had their first non-losing season since 1992 last year. He always tries to say that the game is in a golden age and everything is fair, but even he knows that's a bunch of crap. He knows he's screwed things up with the economics and the steroids (and the 2002 All-Star Game, and pretty much everything else he's done), but as long as fans come out in huge numbers, he can fuck up all the way to the bank. Even if he were to try to do something, he would just get shot down by Donald Fehr and the players union. They control him to the point he might as well change his name to Kermit. If anything is to ever get better in baseball, this coward needs to be removed from office first. Baseball needs a new commissioner, one who realizes the sport is screwed up and will do anything to fix it, regardless of what the players union thinks.

I'm tired of talking about baseball. It's become a joke. I can't watch the Pirates on TV anymore because they are so bad, and I refuse to go to a game and give that ownership any of my money. A long time ago watching and playing it used to be a favorite hobby for kids, but it has been long replaced by football, basketball, golf, and a number of other things. Why? Because the men you see in the pros, the ones that are supposed to be the role models, have destroyed the game. Good job guys. Here's $20 million more.

Coming next week: My NFL analysis, and maybe a recap of the Pirates season. GO STEELERS.

The NBA...Simply Cause I Have Nothing Better to Do

2006-07-04T21:06:00.000-04:00

I really need a new hobby, but for now, here's 5 good and bad things about the NBA.

WHAT'S RIGHT

1. New Labor Agreement. Never a bad thing when you avoid a work stoppage that would result in fans losing interest.

2. New Minimum Age. I never liked the idea of people going straight from high school to the pros because of the huge risk involved in it. For every Kevin Garnett or Kobe Bryant, there's 20 other 18 year olds that don't get drafted and, since most can't afford to go to college, now work at the local Baskin Robbins. Having a minimum age of 19 will give some of these people an opportunity to get at least some education while improving both their game and the college game as a whole.

3. David Stern. Like him or not, he's been busting his ass off to keep this league thriving. He's not like Bud Selig, who only cares about the success of a select few. Stern knows that each franchise, no matter how good or how profitable they are, plays an integral part in the success of the league. He also knows about the tarnished image of the players and has been trying to improve it (see the dress code he created). Despite some of the league's shortcomings, I think Stern has done a great job.

4. Appeal to the Youth. Because of the small amount of space and equipment needed to play, and the ability to practice it by yourself, basketball has become the favorite sport of America's youngsters. They give the NBA ratings and tons of revenue through merchandise sales. It is definitely a sport that will not lose it's youth appeal any time soon.

5. LeBron James and Dwayne Wade. They are very young and they are extremely talented, but most of all, they have good character. In a league whose players do not have the greatest of reputation, having two megastar players like that can go a long way in improving its image.

I guess a 6th good thing is that Ben Wallace just signed with my Bulls, but I'll digress.

WHAT'S WRONG

1. The Image. Of course, not every player in the NBA is a thug or has several kids to several women, but there are some bad apples. In the cases of Shawn Kemp in the 90s, and Kobe Bryant and Ron Artest now, these bad apples also happen to be among the best players in the league, and thus very prominent figures. When championship caliber players get in trouble, and other stars are enjoy showing their massive egos in public, the whole league suffers.

2. Shooting? Thanks to SportsCenter and the constant barrage of sports highlights on the news, fundamental play has been replaced by flash and pizzazz. Scoring has declined because instead of running plays and setting up good shots, players now try to do fancy moves and crazy dunks, and they miss a lot more often. Which kinda leads to my next point...

3. Individualism. It's been about two weeks (or one week...I don't know) since the Heat won the NBA title, and except for Shaq and Wade, I can't name another starter on that team. Meanwhile, I can name just about the entire rosters for the Celtics and Lakers of the 80s and the Bulls of the 90s. The reason is, back then those teams were really teams and not just one or two star players with scrubs feeding off them (okay, the Bulls were kinda like that, but at least they had three or four legit good players in the early 90s). You can blame the expansion or the desire to be on TV all the time, but it seems as though recently teamwork has been replaced with a hot player that carries everyone else.

4. Bill Walton Announcing Games on ESPN. Watch one game he's on and you'll understand. "And yes, my hair is on fire!"

5. Hey Where All the White Men At? Not to sound racist, but the league needs more white American players in it. Larry Bird said as much a couple years ago and got a lot of shit for it, but unfortunately is is somewhat right. Only 20% of its players are white, and many of them are European. Sure, we can't jump and look ridiculous with headbands on, but sadly our society is still racist, and many people in the paying public (and by that I mean corporate sponsors and luxury box buyers) are white. Because of their prejudices and the negative image the league has, their desire to watch and/or patronize the NBA is very small. There are signs that the minority executive presence is improving, but maybe not at the rate at which white America is losing interest. Since we lost baseball to the Latins, golf to Tiger Woods, and really don't give a damn about hockey, tennis, bowling, and the like, I say we grab a ball and head down to Memorial Park.

NEXT WEEK: Major League Baseball. That could be a long one.

What's Right, What's Wrong, What the Hell is Going On? The NHL

2006-06-26T20:54:00.000-04:00

Well here I am on a Monday evening, and I have absolutely nothing to do. I took off work to get some extra sleep, and in that extra time I did the things I normally do when I got home. So, to kill time, and to entertain all my loyal readers (that would be Pat O'Toole and Brent Mennitto), I'm gonna start a four part series on the major North American sports leagues and list five good things and five bad things about each one. Since I know the least about hockey and there's only an hour til wrestling, I'm gonna start with the NHL. Hopefully this doesn't take long.

WHAT'S RIGHT:

1. Equality in the League. After years of a huge financial imbalance between the big market and small market teams that ultimately led to the lockout that erased the 2004-05 season, a new collective bargaining agreement was agreed upon, and it's designed for the benefit of all teams. The salary cap is a shade below $40 million, which is fair and affordable for every team in the league, especially when you consider the revenue problems many of them have. Now, teams like the Penguins and Blue Jackets can go out and sign decent players and have a chance of competing (will someone please tell the Pens that?).

2. New Rules = Better Game. Before this new CBA was reached, NHL hockey was a game of few goals, many holds hooks, and ties, and even more fans falling asleep. Now, two line passes are legal, games still tied after overtime go to a shootout, goalie pads are required to be smaller, and the rules are expected to be enforced consistently and universally. The result is a higher scoring game that generates some much needed excitement.

3. Apologetic Players. The players' reluctance to accept a salary cap was the driving force behind the 2004 lockout. Eventually, the NHLPA realized that the new system would be beneficial to everyone, and agreed to the NHL's new system. Shortly after this deal was reached, NHLPA director Bob Goodenow resigned after being considered the biggest villain of the lockout. Not long after that, veteran Jeremy Roenick basically apologized for the players at the Mario Lemieux golf tournament, saying they realize they had made a mistake, and if fans were still upset they could kiss his ass. Naturally the media only showed that last part and made him look stupid, but if you see the whole speech, he is right about everything.

4. There's Still Prestige. The Stanley Cup is still the most cherished and storied trophy in North American sports, and people in Canada and the northern US still love their hockey.

5. Crosby, Malkin, and Ovechkin. This could be like Bird, Magic, and Jordan in the 80s. Crosby and Ovechkin lit up the NHL last year, and Malkin, who will be in the 'Burgh this fall, is supposed to be better than both of them. With these three the league has some stars to market for the next 20 years (provided Ovechkin and Malkin learn English).

WHAT'S WRONG

1. The Pain of the Lockout. While the new CBA and the apologies of the players and owners were a good start, there is still the sting of losing the entire 04-05 season over how many millions a player is supposed to make. Just like in baseball, that alienates a lot of fans, and it may take a while before many of them come back.

2. The Outdoor Life Network!? After getting low-balled by ESPN on a TV deal, the NHL was forced to rely on local broadcasts, one or two weekend games on NBC, and a deal with The Outdoor Life Network. It's bad enough that most people either don't have OLN or don't know what channel it is, but to have hockey sandwiched between a rodeo and extreme trout fishing is just absurd. Most of the first three rounds of the playoffs, and even the first two games of the Stanley Cup Final were on OLN, which can't be good for ratings.

3. Revenue Problems. The NFL gets 66% of its revenue from its TV deal, the NHL gets 3%. Add to that ticket woes, weak sponsorship, and a ho-hum appeal in non-NHL cities, and many teams struggle to make any serious profit. The Pens are a prime example. Despite getting Crosby and a team that on paper looked real good at the start of the season, they struggled mightily. Had they sold out every game and made the second round of the playoffs, they still would have lost $7 million. I'm not sure a new arena with luxury suites could fix that "optimal situation".

4. Too Many Europeans. It's bad enough that 99% of the players are white athletes, but most of them aren't from this hemisphere. While that contributes to a good on-ice product, the US expects more out of its sports leagues. They want personalities, characters, outspoken lunatics, and names you can pronounce. Since many of the players have 29 letter last names (24 of which are consonants) and virtually no command of English, it is very hard to market them. I can't wait to see Malkin in a Capital One commercial: "Vat is it such that is in your vallet?"

5. It's...Hockey. In cities that don't have NHL teams, hockey will never get big. It seems to be a niche sport that only generates interest in places that have teams around which they could rally. Part of this is because it is a horrible sport to watch on TV. I hear it's great live, but most people don't get the opportunity to go see a game in person. Since it's lame on TV, what's the use in watching or getting interested in it.

Another problem I want to mention is the length of the season. It ended last week, just as summer began, and when it gets this warm, the only ice I wanna see is in a Captain and Coke. By either shortening the regular season or the playoffs, people will maintain interest by the time the finals come around.

NEXT WEEK: The NBA

What's Not to Like About the World Cup?

2006-06-19T20:46:00.000-04:00

People around here may not have noticed, what with the non-stop coverage of Ben Roethlisberger's idiotic motorcycle wreck and Santonio Holmes' latest arrest (Holmes' games played as a Steeler: 0. Number of mugshots taken since being drafted: 2), but the planet's biggest sporting event is going on in America's lifelong ally, Germany. It is watched by billions of people around the world, more than the Super Bowl, the Olympics, WrestleMania, and "Friends" reruns, yet it has never caught on here in the States. Now I'm not gonna be like every other soccer fan and say, "Aw man why can't you get into soccer? You should be watching this stuff!" Instead, I'm going to express my appreciation and admiration for this insane month that only comes once every four years.

The greatest aspect of the World Cup, and indeed the sport of soccer anywhere but the US, is the fans' passion for the game. Trinidad and Tobago, a tiny country that had no chance to do much of anything, tied Sweden 0-0 in their first game. In America a tie is something that is neither celebrated nor lamented, but for the...Trinidadians and Toboggans(?) it was almost as big as winning it all. The fans in the stadium went berserk, as their team pulled off a pretty big upset. So what if they weren't gonna win anything; they went on the sport's biggest stage and showed they could hang with a powerful team. A similar thing occurred yesterday with Korea's 1-1 tie with 1998 champion France. Led by legend Zinedine Zidane (oh, another great thing about this tournament is the names. Fuckin love them), France had a high global ranking, but the Koreans held tough and their fans drowned out those silly Frenchmen. At the Staples Center in LA, thousands of Korean-Americans gathered to watch their homeland on closed circuit TV, and when they scored that late goal, a celebration ensued that far surpassed anything a Lakers NBA title could create. The chanting, the dancing, the body painting, it's all unlike anything that happens here in any sport. Fans at a soccer game in the US are there because there is nothing better to do, fans at the World Cup are there because it is their life.

Next you have the players. For far too long, the US has failed to put out the best possible Olympic or world championship team for basketball, baseball, or hockey, and most of it has been for BS reasons. It seems as though all the big star players will find any reason they can to not have to play any more than they are contractually obligated. Thanks to excuses such as minor injuries, vacations, or a disagreement with who is coaching, we are forced to put out an inferior product and struggle mightily. The players that do manage to show up are only in it for themselves, and the teamwork is virtually nonexistent (see 2004 Olympic basketball). None of that happens in soccer. Even the US team is made up of the best we have to offer. Players will get out of their deathbeds or skip their weddings to put on their country's colors and head out on the pitch. This is a world war, and everyone wants to win at all costs. Individualistic play will be swiftly punished by 3 defenders swarming on you and stealing the ball. Stupid play will result in yellow cards and own goals. Every country puts out its own dream team, and just about all of them can pull off something big.

Finally, there's the sport itself. Having played it when I was younger, I can tell you that all your preconceived notions about it are probably wrong. Americans consider an exciting game one that is high scoring and full of one handed catches or acrobatic dunks (thank the joke formerly known as "SportsCenter" for that). In a soccer match, there won't be many goals scored, and depending on how many shots are taken the likelihood of a fantastic highlight is pretty small. But what you will get is 45 minutes of non-stop action, followed by a 15 minute cooldown period, and then 45 more continuous minutes. There are no TV timeouts, no mound visits, no huddles, no garbage time, or any other lengthy interruption in play. The skill that these players have, and the countless momentum shifts make for a very exciting game once you get past the US bias and also realize the huge field makes it look slower than it actually is.

So again, while I won't scold you for not watching it, I will encourage you to give it a try and check out our boys against Ghana on Thursday. So what if the US might not win it all or even advance to the elimination round? Your other options are 1) baseball which is dominated by Cubans, 2) the NBA Finals, where the best player is from Germany, or 3) the Stanley Cup Finals, featuring EDMONTON, ALBERTA, CANADA against a Carolina Hurricanes team, of which only a third of the players are American. The world is watching, and we should be, too.

Building a Better Mousetrap

2006-06-04T20:08:00.000-04:00

I had this great rant lined up about how much of an idiot Dave Littlefield was. For the past few weeks he had been insisting that once Joe Randa was healthy, he would immediately become the starter again, and Freddy "Dirty" Sanchez (God that is such a great nickname for him) would be relegated to the bench. Never mind the fact that Randa is 36 and was hitting a sad .221 before his injury, while Sanchez, 28, quickly shot up the list of NL batting leaders and coming into today was 2nd in the league with a .351 average. Littlefield just wanted to save face by not keeping a guy making $4 million on the bench. Benching Sanchez for Randa would have gone down as one of the dumbest moves in sports history, and the ultimate slap in the face to a loyal but tired group of Pirate fans...if there are any left.

But earlier today Littlefield came to his senses (or realized he'd be shot) and announced that Sanchez would still be the starting third baseman when Randa came off the DL. We can all breathe a sigh of relief, but don't make it too long or relieving. Littlefield is still the Pirates' GM, and his next bonehead decision can happen any day.

This whole third base fiasco could have easily been avoided back in 2003 if Littlefield would have signed Aramis Ramirez instead of handing him over to the Cubs. In return for Ramirez, who has been the power hitter we so deeply miss, the Pirates got Jose "Human Windmill" Hernandez, Bobby Hill, and minor league pitcher Matt Bruback. Bruback never made it to the majors, and Hill and Hernandez did, although their play indicated that no one had told them about it.

Sanchez was also the product of a really stupid trade. Originally, the Pirates had traded Scott Sauerbeck and Mike Gonzalez (yeah, our closer now) to Boston for Brandon Lyon and some other guy that never played here. As soon as Lyon got here, we learned that he had a serious injury and wasn't going to be able to pitch. So, we traded him and Jeff Suppan back to Boston for Sanchez and Gonzalez. The point of the past two paragraphs is if it wasn't for two awful moves by Littlefield, the third base problem we have had for the past few years never would have existed.

There are countless other bad moves that Littlefield has made that have far outweighed the good ones (and by good ones I mean the Bay/Perez for Giles deal). There are the acquisitions of Chris Stynes, Ron Villone, Randall Simon, Benito Santiago, Raul Mondesi, Randall Simon AGAIN, Jeromy Burnitz, Jeff D'Amico, Brian Boehringer, Ty Wigginton, Ruben Mateo, and Michael Restovich. And there are also the horrible evaluations of minor league talent. We lost Jose Bautista (and miraculously got him back), and Chris Shelton in one rule 5 draft. While Shelton has cooled off from a ridiculous start, he is still a star in the making, and one that would look good in black and gold. Littlefield also gave up on Duaner Sanchez and Chris Young (who two-hit the Buccos today. Karma's a bitch). Young, a 6'11" pitcher, was sent to Montreal for Matt Herges, who performed well in spring training but was cut anyways. The Pirate farm system, once a bright ray of hope a few years ago, is now full of 26 and 27 year old "prospects" who at this point in their careers have virtually no chance of making it to the big show. The few decent prospects the Pirates do have are still a couple years away from PNC Park.

Littlefield was given some slack his first couple years because of the limited budget and the mess that Cam Bonifay had made, but now this is truly his team, and he must be held accountable for it. Serious changes need to be made, the first of which is for him to back off and let Jim Tracy manage. Littlefield's job is to assemble the roster, not determine who plays and who will make him look as though his moves are justified.

Second, he has to stop with this rent-a-wreck crap. I'm sick of seeing him wheel these 37 year old has beens in every year, only to watch them hit in the low .230s but still play every day. After this year, Craig Wilson, Burnitz, Randa, and Kip Wells should be gone, which is an extra $18 million they'll have (factor in Sean Casey possibly being gone, and that number goes up to $26 million. Even if they do bring him back, it will be at a much lower salary than the $8 million he's getting now). The Pirates' play in recent weeks has shown that the young, cheap players that are locked up for a few more years are talented and can get better. So with this extra money and the added revenue from the All-Star game, the Pirates will have the ability to sign a good, YOUNG player that is either in his prime or about to enter it. Granted, this is all dependent on McClatchy and Nutting not pocketing all the profits and actually showing some baseball knowledge, which considering those to jagoffs is a strong possibility.

Finally, Littlefield needs to make a move this year and somehow trade for a star player. And I have the perfect guy:

Dontrelle Willis.

He's only making $4.5 million this year, and can be signed long term with that aforementioned extra money. He's only 23, and a former rookie of the year (and unlike previous ROYs the Pirates got, this one was within the last 20 years) with a World Series ring and 2nd place showing in the Cy Young voting. As an added bonus, the Pirates have exactly what the Marlins want: a couple decent young prospects. I can easily see a Craig Wilson and Sean Burnett deal for Willis. Hell, throw in Chris Duffy too. Maybe a change of scenery is what he needs.

Maybe this is wishful thinking, but that's all we have left. It's easy to blame the owners for all these problems, and most of it is their fault, but Littlefield doesn't get away unscathed anymore. He has made some really bad moves in his time here, and a lot of them are entirely his fault. Other GMs have done more with less, and it seems as though Littlefield keeps doing less with more. The All-Star game won't come here and make this franchise money every year, so it's time to put together a winner now. Any delay, and you'll see a mutiny.

The Curse of Bonds

2006-05-19T18:39:00.000-04:00

It's been a while again, but I'm back. First of all, Kamo's piece below this one is magnificent, and it made me laugh my ass off. Second...well actually that thing about Kamo was all I had to say. On with the show!

There was an article in my local paper the other day on how cursed the Pirates had been since Barry Bonds left the Pirates. I first thought of this over four years ago after the first time the Pats beat the Steelers in the AFC title game, but I never put it in writing.

Until now. Hide your children, folks, for the story I am about to tell is one so terrifying, so hideous, it can only come from a guy that lives in New Kensington. I give you..

The Curse of Bonds

It was a dark night on October 14, 1992, but in Pittsburgh things could not have been brighter. The Steelers were a surprising 4-2 in their first season under Bill Cowher, thanks in large part to Barry Foster running wild on his opponents. The Penguins were just starting the 1992-93 season, and expectations were very high after winning the Stanley Cup the previous two years. And the Pirates were in their third straight National League Championship Series. Led by Barry Bonds, who won his second NL MVP award in three years, and other stars like Andy van Slyke, Doug Drabek, Jose Lind, and Jay Bell, the Pirates had won 3 consecutive NL East division championships and in the previous two years came close to winning the pennant and advancing to the World Series.

But underneath all the wins and celebrations, there was a dark secret. The team was losing money at an alarming rate, and after the season it would be dismantled. Bonds was asking too high a price and secretly was intent on going to the Giants, the team for which his father played. Other soon-to-be free agents Lind and Drabek would also be too expensive to keep. The outlook for the next couple years looked grim, as the team was preparing for a rebuilding mode.

It's now the bottom of the 9th on that ill-fated night. The Pirates entered the last half inning with a 2-0 lead. Doug Drabek was pitching a hell of a game, and all over Pittsburgh people were eagerly anticipating that third out when their beloved Pirates would erase the past two years and finally make it to the Series. But things began to unravel. Jose Lind, widely considered to be the best defensive second baseman at the time, uncharacteristically booted a ground ball. Fast forward two outs and one run later. Stan Belinda came in for Drabek and is now in the biggest save situation of his career. David Justice is on third, and Sid Bream, a veteran of many years who by then was one of the slowest players in baseball, was on second. Up to bat was pinch hitter Francisco Cabrera. Cabrera was not known for his power (most home runs in a season: seven). Centerfielder van Slyke knew this, and motioned for Bonds to play up in left a little bit. Bonds, always the stubborn one, ignored him, and it seems as though the fates chose that moment to spin the thread of the Pirates' doom.

Cabrera hit a weak blooper to shallow left, right where van Slyke wanted Bonds to stand, and right where he could have easily caught the title-clinching out. As Bonds charged to get the ball, Justice scored to tie it, and Bream hobbled around third towards the plate. Bonds got to the ball and fired it towards catcher Mike LaValliere. However, it was off target, and LaValliere had to stretch to make the tag on the sliding Bream.

He was one inch too short, and one second too late. The fans at Fulton County Stadium went berserk. van Slyke, in what has been the most enduring image of the past 14 years of Pirate baseball, sat in center with a look on his face so lost, so distant, so despondent, you would have thought someone had just shot him. Bonds stood in left, half thinking that he had once again choked in the postseason, half thinking that he was gonna sign the biggest contract in baseball history in a month or so. People in Pittsburgh spent the next few days in mourning, literally acting as though the president had been assassinated. The way the game and season ended hurt a lot, but what made it worse back then was the rebuilding plan and the prospect of a couple years of bad baseball before they are good again. What people didn't know was the snowball effect it would have not only on the Pirates, but the entire sports landscape in Pittsburgh. Here is a year-by-year breakdown of the curse's manifestation.

1993

January 9: The Steelers, after clinching AFC home field advantage with an 11-5 record, host their first playoff game in ten years. A then-record crowd at Three Rivers Stadium watches black and gold get destroyed by the eventual conference champs, 24-3.

May 14: The Penguins, loaded with Hall of Famers and owners of both the best record in the league and the longest winning streak in NHL history, lose in the second round of the playoffs. In game 7 against the Islanders, offensively inept David Volek became Cabrera on skates when he scored the clinching goal in overtime.

1994

January 8: The Steelers clinch a wild card spot, but stumble late in their first round game against an aging Joe Montana and the Chiefs, and lose by 3 in overtime.

1995

January 15: The Steelers once again clinch home field advantage, but this time they win their first round game and advance to the AFC Championship. In front of yet another Three Rivers record crowd, the 9.5 point favorite Steelers collapse in the second half and lose to the upstart Chargers. The loss was one of the most painful losses in team history.

1996

January 28: The Steelers finally make it to the Super Bowl, where after a shaky start they come within 3 points of the heavily favored Cowboys. After recovering an onside kick that seemed to destroy any remaining momentum "America's Team" had, Neil O'Donnell throws his second horrible interception to relatively unknown CB Larry Brown. Brown would win MVP honors, O'Donnell would never come close to success again, and the Steelers perfect Super Bowl record was gone.

October: The Pirates enjoy their fourth straight losing season with no end of the streak in sight,

and the Penguins embark on yet another season in which they will make the playoffs and ultimately lose again.

1997

January 5: The Steelers win their division again, and after destroying the Colts in the first

round, are a road victory against New England away from once again hosting the AFC title game against the surprising Jaguars. In a dense fog the Pats score early and score often, clubbing the Steelers 28-3.

October: In what was one of the most surprising stories of the year. The Pirates stay in contention for the NL Central title all season. Highlights included a combined extra inning no hitter by Francisco Cordova and Ricardo Rincon. However, they stumble late in the season, and finish 5.5 games back of the Astros.

December 31: Pitt football makes its first bowl game in 8 years under new coach Walt Harris, but lose to Souther Mississippi, 41-7.

1998

January 11: In Kordell Stewart's first season as a starter, he leads the Steelers to yet another AFC title game. He has an awful game, though, and the Steelers lose to the eventual Super Bowl champ Denver. This is the start of "Slash's" ugly, ugly downfall.

November 26: The refs screw up a coin toss, costing the Steelers a Thanksgiving Day win in Detroit. They would lose their last five games, miss the playoffs, and at 7-9, finish under .500 for the first time under Cowher.

1999

The whole year wasn't very good. The Pirates stunk, the Steelers stunk even worse, and the Pens once again didn't do well in the playoffs. Are you noticing that since 10/14/92 there have been ample opportunities to win big games, and Pittsburgh teams tanked each time? That's the curse, folks. Moving on...

2000

September 24: The Steelers are now 0-3 after losing at home to the Titans.

October 1: The Pirates' last game at Three Rivers is a loss to the Cubs. While tears were shed and fond memories shared, the optimism over their new home far overshadowed any bad feelings. With PNC Park came the hope of a contending team and an escape from the hell in which fans had suffered for the past eight seasons.

December: Mario Lemieux announces he is coming out of retirement, and when he does he immediately becomes a scoring machine and lights a fire in the asses of his teammates. However, the Pens would just toy with us, as they advance to the conference finals in 2001 and lose to the Devils.

2001

This year could be summed up in one sentence: The Pirates signed Derek Bell, and went on to lose 100 games in PNC Park's inaugural season.

2002

January 27: The Steelers (sigh) clinch home field in Heinz Field's first season, and lose in the AFC title game to eventual Super Bowl champ New England. The game is marred by horrible special teams, and yet another Kordell Stewart choking after a promising regular season.

2003

January 11: After a legendary comeback win against the Browns in the first round, the Steelers lose to the Titans in an overtime thriller. The Titans Joe Nedney missed his first attempt at the game winning FG, but Steeler CB Dewayne Washington ran into him, giving Nedney five yards and another chance. He made good on this one, and once again the Steelers went home earlier than they should have.

July 23: The Pirates have some older players, but they are producing, and at this point still have a somewhat realistic chance at the NL wild card. These hopes are shattered on this day when the Bucs trade (give away) Kenny Lofton and Aramis Ramirez for three minor league scrubs, including Bobby Hill. Lofton and Ramirez would help lead the Cubs to the NLCS, while the Pirates...well you know.

December 28: The Steelers' season mercifully ends in Baltimore with a 13-10 loss. Tommy Maddox has a horrible season, and one of its repercussions is the 11th pick in the 2004 draft, which would be used on a man named Roethlisberger.

Oh, in case you were wondering, that last Pens mention in 2000 was the last time they made the playoffs. They have been beyond horrible ever since, and only now are showing some decent signs of hope. Of course, none of this will matter if they don't get an arena. They'll be Kansas City's problem.

2004

September 19: A sign of hope! Maddox is injured against Baltimore and Roethlisberger replaces him. He starts the next week, and the 13 after it, winning them all. The Steelers finish the 2004 season 15-1, the best record ever for an AFC team. Big Ben is easily named rookie of the year, and expectations are once again high in the Steel City.

2005

January 1: Pitt makes it to the Fiesta Bowl only cause every other team in the Big East was that bad. They are embarassed and exposed as frauds by Utah, who dismantles them in a 35-7 blowout that wasn't as close as the score indicated.

January 23: You guessed, it. The Steelers lose another AFC title game at home.

December 4: The Steelers are 6-5 and in danger of missing out on the playoffs after a loss to the Bengals. Things turn around, though, and they enter the AFC playoffs as a 6 seed with an 11-5 record. In the opening round they embarass division rival Cincy, 31-17, and go to Indianapolis to face the #1 seeded Colts, a team that had stomped them earlier in the year.

2006: The Year the Curse Was Broken

January 15: The curse once again shows its ugly face, as Jerome Bettis fumbles the ball at the Indy 1 yard line. With the Steelers already up late in the game, a Bettis TD would have clinched the shocking upset in which the Colts were outplayed in every facet of game. Colts DB Nick Harper recovered the fumble and had a clear path to the end zone.

But Ben Roethlisberger tripped him up, and in doing so he broke the curse and changed Pittsburgh sports forever.

The Steelers held on to win, and three weeks later they would hoist their fifth Lombardi Trophy. The Barry Bonds Curse, which had prevented any Pittsburgh team from winning a big game since 1992, is a thing of the past. And good riddance, cause it was a bad one, maybe the worst because of its universal effect on all things Pittsburgh. Boston fans cried about Babe Ruth cursing their Red Sox, but in between Series wins the Celtics won 16 NBA titles (including 8 in a row at one point), the Bruins won 5 Stanley Cups, and the Pats won two Super Bowls. While Cubs fans were whining about their team not making a World Series in 50+ years, they missed out on Michael Jordan owning the NBA for the better part of 14 years, the Bears having one of the greatest teams ever in 1986, and the Blackhawks being a good team up until recently. Pittsburgh fans only had to endure 14 years of misery, but it was spread out over all the teams, so it felt like a whole lot longer.

And things are not perfect yet. The Pens are still a year or two away from contending, and the Pirates are still the biggest joke in baseball, especially this year. Someday, and I hope it is soon, we can forget this curse ever existed, and when we think of Pittsburgh, we can truly call it the City of Champions.

Crystal Ball Gazing

2006-05-08T13:48:00.000-04:00

With the Pirates hopes of having a winning season in 2006 effectively ending within the first week of games, it is time to look ahead to what will happen for the remainder of 2006 and what Pirates General Manager Dave Littlefield and owner Kevin McClatchy have laid out for the team...

July 21st, 2006: In a move that some will question years down the road, the Pirates decide to trade Jason Bay and Jeromy Burnitz to the Yankees for 2002 Opening Day Starter Ron Villone and the bust of Babe Ruth's head from centerfield in Yankee Stadium. Littlefield will defend his decision to trade the player that some consider to be the franchises cornerstone (Bay) by stating, "The fact that we could get a guy like Villone was big, but getting the bust of Babe Ruth? C'mon, that is like winning the World Series."

July 22nd, 2006: Citing the need for a power hitter now that Bay is gone, the Pirates move Nate McLouth to left and sign Joey Porter to a 1 year deal to play centerfield and bat 4th. Yes, the Steelers' Joey Porter.

August 18th, 2006: The Pirates, coming off of a 37 game losing streak, decide not to bring any prospects up for the month of September and rather play out the season with who they currently have. The reason for this is simple- The Pirates AAA-affiliate in Indianapolis is on the verge of making the playoffs in the International League and many of the players are refusing to put on a Pirates uniform. Chris Duffy, who started 2006 in Pittsburgh, had this to say on the incident: "Listen, playing in the Major Leagues is something we all dream of, but to be honest, the best day I had this season was May 15th when I got sent down to Indianapolis. I finally knew what it was like to have a winning streak and I was able to play in front of more than a few hundred diehard fans a night." Duffy is subsequently fined and is forced to finish the season wearing a Pirates uniform as punishment for the remarks.

August 19th, 2006: McClatchy, scrambling for players and hoping to boost attendence, announces that the Pirates will be running a promotion in which at every home game 10 lucky fans will get to actually play due to the fact that no minor leaguers will accept a call-up. He calls it, "Play for the Pirates" but no one really thinks it will work because they are unsure if 10 people will show up for the next game.

September 12th, 2006: In what is believed to be the oldest person to ever play in a Major League game, 87-year old Ethel Mae Roberts of Wexford is called in to play first base after Craig Wilson is hit with a pitch in the 4th inning. Roberts, in a strange turn of events, winds up going 2-2 in the game and is signed to a free agent deal afterwards by the Boston Red Sox. When asked why the Pirates did not make an attempt to sign such Ethel Mae, Dave Littlefield simply puts his head in his hands and begins to cry.

September 27th, 2006: 11-year old Kenny Thompson of Cannonsburg is hit with a 97 mph fastball in the face by Roy Oswalt causing his career to be put in jeopardy. Oswalt offers no apologies afterwards simply saying, "He should've got off my plate. Punk." The beaning of Thompson, a 6th grader, prompts Pirates management to suspend the, "Play for the Pirates" promotion.

October 1st, 2006: Due to the fact that the "Play for the Pirates" promo is suspended the Pirates average a mere 31 people per game for their final homestand of the season. They limp home to a Major League worst 44-118 record but optimism abounds for 2007 as manager Jim Tracy proclaims that the team is looking at ways to make itself more competitive.

November 5th, 2006: Littlefield and McClatchy get to work on shaping the Pirates 2007 roster in hopes of besting the 44 wins the club posted in 2006. McClatchy, hoping to get some star power to Pittsburgh, goes out and signs Jeromy Burnitz away from the Yankees. He is so happy about the signing that he renames the rightfield wall at PNC Park "Burnitz' Biotch" and throws a party for himself.

November 10th, 2006: In a disturbing turn of events that proves Littlefield is losing his mind, he wears a pair of hooker boots and lipstick into Tom's Diner on West Liberty at 3 AM. He is in turn beat to within an inch of his life by two Pirate season-ticket holders and robbed of $35 in cash. The next day McClatchy stands behind his GM and promises that, "This will all take care of itself."

November 29th, 2006: In a cost-cutting maneuver, the Pirates trade Jack Wilson, Craig Wilson, Jose Hernandez, and Roberto Hernandez to the Dodgers for righthanded pitcher Jae Seo. When pressed as to exactly why, McClatchy said it was all a matter of simple economics: "Think about it for a second folks- you have 4 guys and 2 last names. What does this mean to us from a financial standpoint? Well, it is standard procedure for us to put the player's last name on a jersey, but when you talk about having to put the first letter of a guy's name on his jersey too? That is some extra money that we just weren't ready to spend. And for you wise guys who are going to ask why trade all four guys and not just one, the last names Wilson and Hernandez are pretty common- not to mention that Hernandez is pretty damn long. So to ensure we spend the minimal on jersey lettering, we are going to eliminate names that are longer than 7 letters."

December 3rd, 2006: Staying true to his word, McClatchy announces that Mike Gonzalez, Ryan Vogelsong, Jose Bautista, Jose Castillo, Bryan Bullington, Tom Gorzelanny, Mike Johnston, Josh Sharpless, Craig Stansberry, John Van Benschoten, and Yurendell de Caster are all released or traded due to the dreaded, "7 Letter Rule."

December 15th, 2006: The Pirates turn down a trade to acquire slugger Adam Dunn from the Reds for Jae Seo because of the fact that Dunn's last name has more letters in it than Seo's does.

December 31st, 2006: McClatchy and Littlefield hold a press conference announcing the beginning of a new 5 year plan for rebuilding the team in hopes of winning a title by 2011. McClatchy says he plans on slashing the team budget so much that for many road games the team will have to travel by school bus or even bicycle. He also says that because of the increasing costs of electric and water, the Pirates will play all their home games during the day and their will be only porta-johns to use instead of restrooms.

Ah, the future looks so bright... until next time, enjoy watching Oliver Perez self-destruct and seeing Santonio Holmes fly by people at mini-camp.

Will You, Now?

2006-04-23T18:55:00.000-04:00

Holy crap, I haven't been on here in a while. I guess I got tired of doing this for a while and needed a break, but now I'm back and ready to complain about stuff!

A while back I wrote a little piece on how the Penguins were arguably the worst-run franchise in pro sports. Well, I should have waited until after opening day of the baseball season to write that, as a new contender has arrived. And, as an added bonus, they are also right here in the Burgh. The Pittsburgh Pirates (what, you thought it might have been the Steelers? They just won the Super Bowl, dumbass) have done what no one thought was possible: take the miserable run they have been having for the past 13+ years and make it worse. I remember around this time last year writing a similar piece, and something tells me I'll be doing it the last week of April 2007 too.

With today's 7-2 loss to the Astros, in which Craig Biggio sent Paul Maholm's first pitch of the game over the U.S./Mexico border, the Buccos are now 5-15, thanks in large part to that 0-7 start to the season. Sure, they have had some bright spots, like the offensive explosion during the first two weeks that has since tapered off a bit. In fact, they were among the league leaders in home runs, runs, and hits. But while the offense was scoring 6 or 7 runs a game, the pitching was giving up 8 or 9. Ian Snell was in danger of being sent down to AAA after only three starts until he had a decent outing Friday night. Zach Duke got embarassed at the home opener, but then came back with a beautiful performance against Chicago in his next outing. Maholm has struggled mightily and could be in Indy when Kip Wells returns. Victor Santos has primarily pitched like the 4-13 scrub he was last year.

And then there's Oliver Perez. After the 2004 season everyone thought the sky was the limit for him. He went 12-10 on a lousy Pirate team and led the majors in strikeouts per 9 innings. His 2005 outing was a far cry from that, thanks to not exercising in the offseason and then kicking a laundry cart and breaking his toe in July. He came back this year in good health, and after striking out 9 in 5 1/3 innings in the home opener, everyone thought the monster from '04 was back. He wasn't, and his next two outings were absolute disasters. His velocity is gone, his control is shaky, and his ERA is a horrid 6.75. Now, no one knows if Perez will ever regain his old form, as it seems like he's a head case that was doomed after that great '04.

Because of the starters' horrid performances, the bullpen has been greatly overworked, and they too are performing poorly. Ryan Vogelsong has been especially bad, and I have no idea why they even brought him back. For every good outing he has, he has two or three where he walks the first three batters then gives up a double. Damaso Marte has been shaky, as has John Grabow and newcomer Matt Capps, who desperately needs some more minor league experience before getting battered into oblivion up here. Roberto Hernandez, Solomon Torres, and Mike Gonzalez have been solid if unspectacular.

As I said before, the offense started out strong, but even then there were glaring weaknesses. Chris Duffy is hitting nowhere near as well as he was in his brief time in the majors last year. Ryan Doumit and Humberto Cota are both hitting dreadfully and catching even worse (a real bad thing when your position is catcher). Jeromy Burnitz has struck out 18 times, with Jason Bay not too far behind him. Bay, for some reason, seems very apprehensive to swing this year, as evidenced by his last at-bat last night, in which he watched three strikes go by to end the game. Joe Randa has been subpar, and he is certainly not doing anything that the younger Freddy Sanchez couldn't be doing right now. The same goes for Jose "The Human Windmill" Hernandez, whose presence on the Pirate roster absolutely baffles me. He has always been a strikeout machine, and the last time he was here in Pittsburgh (our prize for giving away Aramis Ramirez) he was total garbage. Sean Casey was doing okay, until breaking a bone in his back in a freak play at first. He'll be out six or seven more weeks, essentially making his acquisition a bust. The only bright spot has been Craig Wilson, the benchwarmer who deserved to play who has made the most of his opportunity this year. He definitely needs at bats if the Pirates want to go anywhere this year.

Of course, they won't go anywhere this year as long as Kevin McClatchy and G. Ogden Nutting own this team. Their inability or reluctance to spend money on a top-tier player has destroyed this once proud franchise. I'm sick of hearing about this youth movement we have. Young players are good, but there isn't anyone in the Pirates' minor league system that can propel this team to a championship. They need a guy that can hit .330 with 35-40 homers, or someone that hits .270 but 40-50 homers, or someone that can hit .360 and always be a threat to reach base and then do further damage. All the Pirates have coming up are .280/20 HR guys, which just will not do in this day and age. The Pirates did have two guys that could fit that star player mold, but we gave them away. Aramis Ramirez had a tremendous 2001 with the Bucs, and after a bad 2002 was showing some promising signs in 2003. Then we gave him away to the Cubs in what was nothing more than a salary dump. He has been great with them, and we have made miserable attempts to replace him (Chris Stynes, Ty Wigginton, Hernandez...ugh).

And now we come to Chris Shelton. Now playing for Detroit, he hit like .780 the first week of the season, and is among the league leaders in home runs. He used to be in the Pirates' system, until he was unnecessarily exposed in the 2003 Rule 5 draft. Earlier this week Dave Littlefield admitted he made a mistake with Shelton, and then tried to justify it by saying he wasn't going to put up good power numbers and his defense was shaky. Now, while in the minors with us, Shelton hit 20-25 homers a year, and showed the potential for more. As for defense, poor fielding didn't stop this organization from giving Jason Kendall $10 million a year, and he couldn't throw my mother out if she stole second.

I'm sick of writing about this. Every damn year it's the same thing - young players getting rocked, and has-beens showing their ages. Go to a game now and it's painfully obvious the few fans that are there aren't there to see baseball. They want the fireworks, the view, the pierogi races, and the bobbleheads. I still go to watch the game, and I try to tell every kid around me about what this team used to be like. None of them know about the history of the Pirates, about Honus Wagner and Clemente and Stargell and Forbes Field. All they have ever known is failure and in-game distractions from the atrocities going on in the field.

McClatchy and Co. have once again come up with a nifty marketing campaign that takes the focus away from baseball and puts it on the attractions at PNC Park. "We Will" amaze, entertain, blah blah blah. It's all a bunch of crap, because all I want them to do is win, and then everything else will take care of itself.

We, the Pirate fans, are just as responsible for this failure as the owners, because by going out to the ballpark every night we are perpetuating this misery. Why would they want to spend more on a winner when we are shelling out tons of money to watch an awful team? I think enough is enough, and if I'm right, after the All-Star Game people will stop going and send a message. McClatchy, you have your "We Will" campaign, and now I propose we fans have one of our own:

WE CAN'T take this anymore.
WE DON'T appreciate this franchise being ruined.
YOU WILL assemble a winning team or sell them to someone that can, or
WE WON'T come back.

5 Things I Am Pretty Sure I Think

2006-04-04T23:35:00.000-04:00

by Kamo

I am sure you are all wondering the same thing right now: "Where in the name of sweet Gretchen Bleiler's ass have you been?" For my long hiatus I apologize and will only offer this: Do not- stressing the not end of things- drink 20 Guinness beers, go bowling, and use a ball fit for a first grader because the consequences can be tragic for your fingers. Anyhow, a lot has happened since my last reading from the Book of Jason, so for all of you members of my fan club out there, he are 5 Things I Am Pretty Sure I Think...

#5 I am pretty sure I think that the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament is quickly becoming one of my favorite things to lose a ton of money on and have fun doing it. I mean, you thought casinos were fun? To hell with that shit because where else can you put your money on a sure thing (Thanks UCONN- losers) lose it, and still have a blast? Within the brackets I played I picked different games here and there but there were 3 constants: UCONN to win it all, Texas to play for it all, and the Big East to show up at the Final Four. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. The Huskies and Longhorns basically made a fool of me with their stunning losses to George Mason (more on them in a second) and LSU respectively while the Big East played more like their gridiron counterparts and were largely ineffective in doing so. Shit, the biggest win the Big East had was Georgetown beating Ohio State in the second round while the "powerhouses" of the league basically got outplayed by lesser teams in getting beat. But like I said, in all honesty, who cares? I can realistically say I enjoyed watching George Mason and LSU screw me out of a ton of money because they represent what is good about sports. Everyone loves the underdog, and for George Mason in particular, they played the role perfectly in beating three former champions on their way to Indianapolis. So yes, I am a little more poor in the pocket than I was three weeks ago but who cares- the over/under on the Buccos wins this season was 76 and Jason has the over. Easy money.

#4 I am pretty sure I think that while on the subject of the NCAA Tournament, I should congratulate Florida on a job well done, but one thing remains as far as I am concerned: Joakim Noah, I hate you. Now I could do an entire, "10 Reasons Why I Hate You Joakim Noah" type list but that would be petty and a waste of time. Instead I will only say I hate you for a number of reasons, but mostly because you have a striking resemblence to a certain 80's movie star...

Joakim Noah meet...

E.T. the Extra Terrestrial.

Now, some people might look at this and call me an asshole, but just look for a moment- go ahead, look at it........ and upon further review, I am right. Joakim Noah is not the son of a tennis star and a former Miss Sweden, but he is really the offspring of E.T. the Extra Terrestrial. Noah's chest pounding and constant yelling during games would be enough to convince me that he is of another planet, but looking at the pictures the resemblence is almost scary. So, Joakim "E.T." Noah, I despise you and everything you stand for. Why don't you go play tennis.

#3 I am pretty sure I think that Spring Ball has opened up at most schools and what a difference a year makes for a certain team that calls South Bend, Indiana home. Last year at this time Charlie Weis was taking over a team that for all intents and purposes was left for dead by most people due to a certain asshole's inability to do his job. Fast forward to now and what you have is the making of something special for the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. 17 starters return on both sides of the ball, with the most significant returnees being All-American candidates Jeff Samardizjia and Brady Quinn on offense and emerging star Tommy Zbikowski on defense. I for one hope that Tommy Z uses any opposing wide receiver who makes it his way this season as his own personal bitch and gives them a beat down schoolyard style, but that will have to wait. As for Quinn and Samardzjia, they have the opportunity to become the most profilic aerial tandem in school history. Not bad for a place that produced guys named Montana, Theismann, Bertelli, Brown, Ismail, Mirer, Hanratty, and Seymour. Looking ahead to 2006, Notre Dame's schedule is typically loaded all over with Georgia Tech, Penn State, Michigan, Michigan State, Boston College, UCLA, and of course, USC all making their way onto the slate. I suppose the key is getting off to a good start and sustaining momentum over the course of a 12 game season. Looking over their schedule, there are very few places where a letdown will still produce a win, but of course that is what is supposed to happen at Notre Dame. I will be attending the Spring Game (also known as the REAL Blue-Gold Game) on April 22 but until then, here come the fucking Irish.

#2 I am pretty sure I think that Oliver Perez looked like his old self on Monday against the Brewers. He pitched into the sixth inning and, as evidence of his 9 strikeouts, was hitting the strike zone with regularity. If not for the bullpen completely blowing the game, the Pirates would have won the opener in classic Jim Tracy "smallball" fashion. But back to Perez for a moment because for the Pirates to avoid winning less than 76 games this season, he is going to have to be a number of things to a number of people. Firstly, Perez is really the only pitcher in their rotation who has any semblence of what it is like to taste success over a full season. Granted Zach Duke, Paul Maholm, and Sean Burnett all pitched well in their respective second halves of the season, but Perez will have to be a leader for the young guys which is to say the Pirates are more or less putting the future of those guys squarely in his hands. Considering how young Perez is himself, this is a risky proposition to say the least but I will take the wait-and-see approach there. Secondly, more often than not Perez will have to be a stopper of sorts and be able to halt a losing streak here and there. Again, another risky sitution considering his wild inconsistency at times last season could be a recipe for disaster. Naturally the pessimist in me is bringing all this out, but when your favorite baseball team hasn't had a winning season since you were in grade school that kind of tends to happen.

#1 I am pretty sure I think that Barry Bonds is a cheater who should have every record he owns be taken away (ditto that for guys like Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa) and he should be banned from the game for the remainder of time. For someone who has tarnished his image to such a point of no return, Bonds seems to act as if he doesn't have a care in the world. He answers, "No comment" for pretty much every question and in the off chance that King Barry actually does answer something, he does it with a smirk and a snide remark. The issue at hand for Major League Baseball is that Bonds is on the verge of breaking the most exciting record in baseball and he is doing so under a cloud of suspicion that he is more juiced up than Hulk Hogan. What's sad is that, in the scheme of things, Bonds' and his steroid issue should take a backseat to the fact that he is a racist, wife beater, and adulterer who has no regard for anyone but himself. What you basically have behind the bulked up body and jersey that reads, "Giants" across the chest is a man who, for all intents and purposes, is any average scumbag sitting in a regional jail. So Barry, I encourage you to walk away after this season like you intend on doing. By all means, fade away and just be an enigma that will forever remain as nothing more than someone who captured our attention with moonshots and incredible talent. But more than anything, when you leave take the back door out and don't look back.

Well, my fingers are having a tough time keeping up with my brain so that's it for today. To rehash what I said earlier, I apologize for extended hiatus and I hope to be able to stay healthy and preach the gospel according to Jason on a regular basis. Until next time, go to www.bradyforheisman.com to keep yourself sane.

2006 Baseball Preview

2006-04-02T13:22:00.000-04:00

After months of non-stop Steeler coverage and missed Aaron Gray layups, it's finally baseball season. Even though the sport is in shambles thanks to a steroids scandal and an economic system worse than most former Soviet Union nations, there's still something special about the game. Don't believe me? Look at the Pirates. They've been awful for the past 13 seasons, yet here we are, still talking about them like they actually matter. This year, though, they have a chance to finish over .500. Of course, they need everything to go right for this to happen, and nothing ever goes right for them, but the possibility is still there. Since I don't have to leave to go watch WrestleMania for a couple more hours, I'll break down each position.

Catcher: Last year Ryan Doumit was brought up to fill in for the injured Benito Santiago, and did a pretty decent job. He and Humberto Cota will be solid if unspectacular behind the plate. Both have decent offensive skills, and while Cota is the better defensive player, Doumit should catch up to him and be the regular starter.

First Base: In the offseason the Buccos got local boy Sean Casey from the Reds. He only hit 9 home runs last year, but he had the 11th highest batting average in the NL. His power numbers should go up in the lefty-friendly PNC Park (plus, based on what he did here when he was with Cincy, he really likes this place), and he will be a dramatic upgrade defensively. What's more, he is one of the nicest and most respected people in the game, and his effect on the dynamics of the team, and the Pittsburgh community, could be immeasurable. If he falters or if the Pirates trade him, there's Craig Wilson on the bench and the monster Brad Eldred in Indianapolis.

Second Base: Jose Castillo is considered by some to be the best defensive 2B in the game, and it's hard to argue that. He has at times shown great power and hitting ability, and at other times...he hasn't. If he can become a more consistent hitter, he can become the top second baseman in the game.

Shortstop: In 2004, Jack Wilson had a phenomenal year, with a .308 average and 201 hits. Then in 2005, a spring training appendectomy and the subsequent recovery helped bring his average down to .257. The real Jack Wilson is somewhere in between those numbers, and I think it's closer to the .308. Defensively he is unmatched among shortstops, as he is a regular on SportsCenter, WebGems, and any other Red Sox lovefest ESPN has. Look for Jack to have a big season in '06.

Third Base: The Pirates brought back Joe Randa, a star from the surprising 1997 team, to provide leadership and consistency at third base, which has been a glaring weakness since Aramis Ramirez was given to the Cubs in 2003. Randa had a good 2005, and a return to the Burgh may give him a boost and help him hit around .300 with 10-15 homers. If not, Jose Bautista will come up from Indy. He's been the third baseman of the future for a while now, and this spring has shown he might be a huge star real soon.

Right Field: Jeromy Burnitz is coming off a 24 home run season, which would have been second on the Pirates last year. Like Sean Casey this lefty will benefit from PNC Park, and will also provide solid defense in right. His age does raise some eyebrows, but if he can stay healthy he will be a productive player.

Center Field: Chris Duffy hit a stunning .341 in only 39 games last year, and he seems to be firmly entrenched in the top of the order for the Pirates. He has blazing speed, and made some incredible catches last year before getting hurt. Whether or not he is fully healthy remains to be seen, but the sky is the limit for him.

Left Field: Jason Bay. What more can you say? He hits for average, he hits for power, he can steal bases (20 for 21 last year), and he plays great defense. Thank God he was signed to an extension in the offseason. Even though he doesn't get any attention because he's a Pirate, Bay is an elite player in baseball, and with a better lineup around him, he could have a huge year.

Bench: The bench looks pretty good, with Freddy Sanchez, Craig Wilson, and youngster Nate McLouth all having experience as a starter for an extended period of time. When needed, they will do a fine job in whatever role they are needed. The only questionable bench player is Jose Hernandez. He has threatened the single season strikeout record on more than one occasion, and he was just awful the last time he was a Pirate (the aforementioned Aramis giveaway). A younger player may have been a much better option than the 36-year old Hernandez.

Starting Pitching: Oliver Perez, at 24 and with 89 starts under his belt, is the grizzled veteran to start the season. After a disappointing 2005, Perez looks ready to get back to his old dominating form. If he stays healthy and keeps his head on straight, he could be one of the top starters in baseball again. Zach Duke and Paul Maholm were amazing in limited action last year, but it is too soon to tell if they can continue on that. This will be their first full season as starters, and fatigue may be a huge factor come August and September. Ian Snell went from being a lock to start in AAA to making the rotation after a great spring, and Victor Santos is a huge question mark. He was awful last year, but he is still relatively young and inexperienced, and might get better. Kip Wells will be out until July, but this could be a good thing. He has all the tools to be a star, but he doesn't seem to have the mental aspect. Either way, this should be his last year as a Pirate.

Relief Pitching: This could be the Pirates' strong point. They are young, they are talented, and a lot of them are lefties. New closer Mike Gonzalez is awesome, and if he can handle the pressure he will be a huge success. Other youngsters John Grabow, Matt Capps, and Ryan Vogelsong are joined by veterans Roberto Hernandez, Damaso Marte, and Salomon Torres to provide some great help for when the starters struggle. This has the chance to be the best bullpen in baseball.

Prediction: Like I said before, a lot has to go right for the Pirates to have a winning season. The rotation is young, and the team's success depends heavily on them. The offense is improved, but they still won't be confused with Murderer's Row. The pieces are in place for a good team...eventually. This year won't be that magical over-.500 year, but they'll get close. Look for them to go 78-84 and finish fourth in the NL central.

Other Observations

BEST PLAYER: Albert Pujols. The guy is just amazing. He'll break a lot of records before he's through.

MOST OVERRATED PLAYER: Johnny Damon. The only reason people know about him is because he played for Boston and ESPN covered his hair and beard incessantly. All those loser Red Sox fans are crying because they lost him, but few realize that his replacement, Coco Crisp, is younger and put up better numbers last year.

BARRY BONDS: He won't break Hank Aaron's record. He'll either get hurt, get suspended for roids, or lose his mind and disappear from baseball forever. Either way, the sport will be better off for not having that creep around.

NO SUNSHINE IN FLORIDA: Just when you thought a team couldn't be worse than the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, you have the Marlins, who have dismantled a championship team for the second time in a decade. Neither one of these teams will be anywhere near good, although Tampa has a new owner and some decent young players. Just when you thought things were bad in Pittsburgh, just be glad we aren't in Florida. The weather's nicer, but the baseball sucks.

SURPRISE TEAMS: Milwaukee Brewers. After going 81-81 last year, they'll get the wild card spot this year. They are young and improving rapidly.
Atlanta Braves. They're kinda surprising in that they are always expected to finally have a down year, but they never do. They will once again win the NL East, edging out the upstart Phillies.

DISAPPOINTING TEAMS: Mets (too old), Astros (too old in key positions), Cubs (never healthy).

WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS: I'm taking the White Sox over the Cardinals. Chicago has a lot of good players and they play well together. Rob Mackowiak will do a lot more for that team than you think. St. Louis will once again dominate the NL and lose in the postseason, which is starting to become a disturbing trend.

Until next time, raise the jolly roger and cheer on our Buccos. Later.

Not Like You Care What I Think, But...

2006-03-26T19:55:00.000-05:00

While my NCAA pools were all shot at about, oh, 4:00 last Thursday, this has been a great tournament to watch. There have been some magnificent games and unlikely outcomes. Seriously, if anyone picked George Mason in the Final Four, I'm gonna slap her (men would have overanalyzed this thing too much to pick that).
Had Jamie Dixon gone to Arizona State instead of deciding to sign a contract extension at Pitt, it may have sent the Panthers' surging basketball program back five or ten years. Word is that John Calipari was ready to leave Memphis to take the job, but if he didn't and Pitt had to go through another long search, it would have given the school the image of being a stepping stone for other programs and not an elite destination for coaches.
While watching the UCLA-Memphis snoozefest yesterday, I noticed how Bruin center Ryan Hollins went up for strong dunks nearly every time he got the ball in the paint. I hope Aaron Gray was watching that game, too, because he can and should be doing the same.
What ever happened to Kamo?
The deadly wreck at the IRL race today was beyond horrific. I think it just further proves the senselessness of a sport that is nothing more than several cars driving around in circles close to each other at 250 mph.
Sasha Cohen...hot.
The United States' recent performances in Olympic basketball, Olympic hockey, and the World Baseball Classic doesn't show how other nations have caught up to us as much as it shows how little we care about national pride in team sports. On paper we should still be dominating all three sports, but egos, selfishness, and the reluctance of owners to risk their players getting injured has kept us from putting out the best possible teams.
There is definitely more optimism for the upcoming Pirates' season than there has been in years. Hopefully it will translate to a better product and even a winning record.
Barry Bonds is the new O.J. Simpson. You can't prove it, but you know he did it, and it's a shame he won't get punished for it.
If I were Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, I would have released a statement ten minutes after Terrell Owens became a free agent saying, "Despite his tremendous talent, I refuse to sign Owens based solely on the incident a few years ago when he disrespected the organization and the city of Dallas." But then again, Jones would sign Hitler if he ran a good 40. Here's hoping the fans haven't forgotten and let Jones and Owens know about it.
Can we please stop talking about football until the draft, and then after that until July? I'm sick and tired of seeing Hines Ward and Bill Cowher get the first 15 minutes of coverage on the news every time one of them sneezes.
Pittsburgh really needs a new arena, and keeping the Penguins here will be an added benefit of getting it. There's actually an amazing young foundation somewhere in that mess. With Crosby, Fleury, and the arrival of Malkin (who everyone says is much better than one-man highlight reel Alexander Ovechkin), the Pens could be a playoff team for years.
I'm out of stuff to say. Baseball preview next weekend. Peace.

The Pitts

2006-03-19T17:55:00.000-05:00

Bradley? Pitt lost to fuckin' Bradley?

Not to take anything away from Bradley, but when you are a top 20 team and a darkhorse Final Four pick, you don't lose to teams from the Missouri Valley Conference. But then again, Pitt wasn't all they were cracked up to be. At the start of the season they were considered a rebuilding team, and a spot in the rankings and even one in the NCAA tournament seemed like long shots. Then, they started out 15-0 and were ranked as high as 9th. A good showing in the hellacious Big East, followed by a surprise run to the Big East tournament final that included a dominating win over then #2 Villanova, led to a slightly iffy 5 seed (shoulda been 4, maybe 3), but many people said they could go deep in the tournament.

They didn't, and today's loss to Bradley (Brad for short) exposed just about all of their weaknesses.

The most glaring, and ultimately most destructive weakness came in the form of a 7'0", 270 lb. center. Aaron Gray's performance late in the year, especially in the postseason, was dreadful. Often the biggest man on the court by a wide margin, Gray never used his size to assert himself, and missed countless layups. On more than one occasion Pitt could have tied the game or taken the lead if Gray made a free throw, and he would miss it. I know you're all thinking, "but what about all the rebounds he got? He had a bunch of double doubles." Most of those rebounds were from his missed layups. I don't know about you, but I'll take 35 points and 3 rebounds over 14 and 14 any day, especially when one person is the source of all those shots. Maybe if he would show some killer instinct and dunk the ball once in a while he would make more, and Pitt may still be alive.

Next is departing senior Carl Krauser, the Jekyll and Hyde of Pitt. He won a lot of games for Pitt in his four years, and his leadership and mentoring of younger players is immeasurable. However, he lost a lot of games for Pitt, too. Too often he would take matters into his own hands, and not put the ball in anyone else's. He would drive down to the baseline, get triple teamed, and either throw it away or force some horrid shot. Today he had six turnovers, and didn't score in the first half. Krauser let his emotions and streetball background take over sometimes, and the results were almost always disastrous. Have fun playing in Europe, Carl.

As always, Pittsburgh fans must question the moves and thought processes of the coach. Jamie Dixon, in only his third year as a head coach, has established himself as one of the best in the country. He is a hell of a coach, and Pitt should give him whatever he wants in order to keep him. That being said, he needs to work on his coaching style a bit. For starters, the team needs a lot more finesse. The physical, rough and tumble, low-scoring stuff will work fine in the Big East, which resembles Big Ten football, but when it comes tourney time, the refs won't put up with that. Today's game was proof of that, as the refs blew the whistle on every little bit of contact that was made. Pitt needs to be able to adapt to that and blow teams away with speed and flash when elbows and muscles won't work. Another problem I had with Dixon was his personnel decisions. He started John "Human Turnover Machine" DeGroat every game during the regular season. He only played the first few minutes, but his stats for that time were usually a point or two, and three or four turnovers. This was a major contribution to Pitt's many slow starts, particularly in big games. Imagine if they didn't make those turnovers and instead scored on those initial possessions. They would probably have a few more wins, some of which would have been over highly ranked teams.

Everyone's saying that based on this year's performance and with the amount of key players returning (all but Krauser), Pitt should be a pretty strong team in 2006-07. I'd be a little cautious when saying that. The Panthers have a lot of flaws that need addressed and corrected if they want to go any deeper in the NCAA's. For starters, Aaron Gray needs to get some fortitude and realize he's bigger than just about anyone in college basketball. Throw down some dunks, knock some guys on their asses and get that easy layup, and most importantly...MAKE THAT FUCKING LAYUP!. Watch some videos of Shaq. He's not really a good player, but he's so damn big that he can just bump people out of the way and get guaranteed buckets. Gray is a pretty big guy, and he can do something like that in college hoops.

Next, they need to play a stylish, but controlled game. They shouldn't abandon their physicality altogether, but they could be a lot better if they calmed down and added more dimensions to their game. Shoot better shots, shoot smarter shots, make smarter passes, and don't commit stupid fouls. This will help a lot in the Big East play (UConn is a prime example), and it will better prepare them for the officiating in the NCAA tournament.

Finally, play the best guys you have, Dixon. Don't start someone every game just because he is a senior, and don't be afraid to bench someone because he is struggling. I would love to see more of Sam Young and Keith Benjamin next year, especially Young. He is a phenomenal specimen, and is only going to get better.

Next year really does have the potential to be a great year for Pitt basketball, provided they don't run into Brad again. Not like it will matter though. Did you see the freshman class coming to Ohio State?

The Irish Buckeye Guide to March Madness Pools

2006-03-12T20:02:00.000-05:00

Me last year after Lousiville lost in the semifinals, costing me thousands (actually it's from sophomore year when I drank a fifth of Bacardi, but that's how I felt last year).

For many college basketball and gambling enthusiasts, today is a lot like Christmas. We find out the seedings and matchups for the NCAA tournament. For many, this is also the start of three weeks that prove to be very costly and very very frustrating. I am reminded of years past, when NCAA pools that were meant to be fun for all and even more fun for one turned into disasters. There was 2003, when Pitt was a #2 seed and nearly everyone picked them to win it all, and for good reason. However, they did their usual choke in the 3rd round, and everyone's pool was shot. It was such an ugly year, the winner was determined by the Elite Eight round, as only one person got one Final Four team right. On a more personal level, there was last year, where I would have won the St. Vincent pool for a few hundred, and probably would have won a lot of money in a much larger pool if Louisville would have beaten Illinois in the semis. They didn't, of course, and I won absolutely nothing.

The past 15 years of misery have taught me many lessons about filling out a bracket pool. The most important lesson is not to bother and save yourself the trouble, I guess, but we're all gluttons for punishment. So here are some tips for when you're picking the winners of a sport played by people younger than you:

1. NEVER PICK ARIZONA. This rule really doesn't apply this year since they had a bad season and only got an 8 seed, but until the end of time this is a good one to follow. Just about every year they enter the tournament on a roll and get a high seed, and just about every year everyone picks them to either go to the Final Four or win it all. And just about every year, they lose in the second or third round. The only time this didn't happen was in 1997, when no one picked them to do anything. Lute Olsen and company may be the biggest chokers in college basketball right now, and picking them to do anything different would be a waste of your money.

2. Your favorite/local team will not win, so don't pick them. Remember my NFL previews and reviews and whatever views? I never once mentioned the Steelers and the Super Bowl in the same sentence, because I knew that once I did they would be jinxed and not make it. The result of this superstition? One for the thumb, fools. Sadly, you have to fill in the winners of these things, so jinxing your team is inevitable. I have learned my lesson, and I will never again pick Pitt or Ohio State to win it all. Your favorite team won't win, either. It's wishful thinking, and in some years it looks like it could really happen, but if you picked them, they're screwed.

3. 3-pointers = 3 rounds. Nothing in college basketball bothers me more than the recent bastardization of the 3-point line. What was once a reward or a shot of desperation or necessity has now become the focal point of a team's entire offense, and their games look like something you do on Playstation. These teams always have some dopey looking white guy (cough cough Pittsnogle) that does nothing but shoot the three, and damnit does he always freakin' make it. They always become the sleeper team and people pick them thinking they are being smart. What they don't realize is that many of these teams rely on the three because they have no inside game, and come tourney time that's a problem. An off night or a defense that will get in their faces will always lead to their demise, and once you get to the later rounds there are too many of those types of teams for them to succeed.

4. Sentimental choices are dumb choices. Teams that come out of nowhere to win their conference tournament, or teams that have some hard luck player or stupid stuff like that tug at people's hearts and convince them that they will ride that emotion to a title. This year it's Syracuse with their 13th year senior Gerry McNamara, whose overexposure on ESPN the past couple days is borderline Bostonian. Now people think they are going to do some damage in the NCAA's since they're riding such a hot streak. Here's my prediction: they're gonna lose in the first round. They spent all their energy in the Big East tourney, and with the four or five day break in between that and the first round, that momentum they had will be gone. Just like those 3-point lovin teams, teams like this just won't have the talent to go all the way.

5. Mid-majors...no. Nothing much to say here. They aren't as good as people think, and picking Gonzaga to win it all is setting yourself up for failure.

6. White men can't jump, nor can they win national titles. Remember a few years ago when Princeton had five white guys and did that slow, boring white guy offense to beat some teams? Man was that lame. If you think a team can go far in the tournament playing fundamental basketball, then you need to get out of the 50s. Not to sound stereotypical, but our people suck at basketball, and when a team of white guys goes up against a team of blacks that are stronger, faster, and more flashy, no amount of the flex offense can help you.

7. A 12 seed will beat a 5 seed. It happens every year. This year my pick is Texas A&M over Syracuse.

8. When in doubt, ask a woman. In 1998, the men in my family spent hours looking at stats and agonizing over who to pick. My mother looked at the bracket and said, "Eh, I'll pick Utah." Now she doesn't even know a basketball is round (this despite the fact my brother and I played basketball all through grade school and high school. That's 16 straight years of watching one and/or the other play), and Utah wasn't very highly regarded, so we laughed at her and thought she was on crack. Two weeks later we reached for the pipes ourselves as the Utes made it to the national championship game. For some reason, women will pick a team based on their uniforms, mascots, and a million other non-basketball reasons, and all too often they end up beating us men who do research and lab experiments to determine who will win. What are we doing wrong, men, and what is your secret, women?

9. None of these rules apply to Duke. For some reason, all these tips go out the window when you consider the Blue Devils (the Arizona one doesn't really count, unless you believe in the duality of college basketball players). They have white guys that can play, they can shoot the lights out at will, everyone picks them and wins with them, and no matter what their seed is or what is going on with their team, they are always in the thick of it at the end. Picking Duke to go far is a wise choice, since they can win a lot of games for you, and their defeat will impact everyone's pool.

There are your tips for a successful and hopefully lucrative month of March. Happy pooling, and good luck. See you next week.

For Paul...

2006-03-02T22:44:00.000-05:00

People invest too much of their lives in sports. Whether it's playing them, watching them, or writing stupid blogs about them, they have become too important to us. Often, they consume so much of our lives that when something else major happens, we are not prepared for it. That happened to a lot of us on Tuesday. So forgive me if I don't write about the Steelers or Pitt this week, but I have too much on my mind that I have to express it.

There are way too many cliches about friends and friendship. Stupid sayings in our AIM info and on greeting cards have become so overused that you begin to wonder if they really apply to the friend for which the person intended them. But for some reason, everything I've ever heard about friendship fits Paul perfectly.

You hear people describe a friend as someone that would give you the shirt off his back. I saw Paul do it once. Granted it was a North Carolina jersey and he was a rabid Duke fan, but the fact that he so effortlessly gave someone such an expensive thing for a drastically reduced price showed me that someone really needed the shirt off his back, Paul would walk home topless.

You hear people say that true friends are there through good and bad. When it was Paul's turn to be the subject of our ridicule, he took it all in good fun, because he knew we weren't serious, and that the next day he would get his revenge on one of us. Through it all he never stopped being our friend, and we never stopped being his.

You hear "Friends are always there for you." That was him in a nutshell. Whether it was a beer run, a movie, or a quick ride to Sheetz for a burger, Paul was always the first one to say, "I'll drive." He would always give of himself and ask little or nothing in return. He was happy to drive me to New Ken to drop off a keg, and his price was a mere $0.75 beer at Nopalito's. When you needed an extra player for basketball or softball, he'd be the first one to call. Not because he was so good, but because you knew he would love to come down and play. When the parties were broken up but the night was still young, he'd start grabbing beers for a cemetery walk. Basically, if Paul could do it for you, he'd do it in a heartbeat.

You hear that friends will pick you up when you are down. I know Paul picked me up several times when I was down, and on more than a few Fridays on the way out of Bonnie, we simultaneously picked each other up in an attempt to get back to Gerry. I'm sure he was there for all you guys too, be it giving you advice or just an ear to listen to your gripes.

Maybe the saying that bothers me the most is when friends and loved ones say that the deceased "would have wanted it that way." How do we really know what this person felt and wanted? Well, I'm pretty sure that no matter how you deal with what happened, or how you remember Paul, it would get his stamp of approval. In the three years I knew him, he wanted to make people happy more than anyone I have ever met. That's why he always offered to drive. That's why he was always up for cemetery walks. He drove from Greensburg to Natrona Heights almost every day so he could provide for Faith and Noah and make their lives better. He never did any of these things to boost his ego or make himself better. No, he felt better when he knew that we did too.

Losing Paul is going to hurt for a while. It may take days, weeks, months, or longer. But someday, when we think about him, we won't think about Tuesday. We'll think about what he did while he was with us, and how great of a friend he was. Then, instead of tears and pain, we'll smile, and we'll be happy.

Paul would have wanted it that way.

Old School

2006-02-27T21:29:00.000-05:00

"You can't turn back the clock, you can't turn back the tide. Ain't that a shame?" - Queen, These Are the Days of Our Lives.

I made maybe the best DVD purchase of my life a couple weeks ago when I bought the WWE's three disc set on Bret Hart. The set contains a biography and interviews with the man that many consider to be the greatest technical wrestler ever, as well as several hours of matches. Younger fans that never got to see the "Excellence of Execution" in action, and older folks that are in the mood for some nostalgia would be wise to purchase this set.

There were two things in particular on these DVDs that really got to me. The first is when Hart discusses all his contemporaries that have passed away in recent years. When he gets to talking about Rick Rude, he breaks down and cries, and I admit i shed a tear too. It's beyond tragic that so many of these men that I grew up watching have died at such young ages, and it is even sadder when you think of how easily most of these deaths could have been prevented.

The second thing was the match that Hart had with his then brother-in-law, the late "British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith, at Summerslam 1992. The even took place in Smith's home country in Wembley Stadium in front of over 80,000 insane fans. What's even more remarkable about this was that there was no bizarre or complex storyline that superceded the match. Rather, the event drew a mammoth crowd almost entirely because two top-notch wrestlers would face each other for the second most important title in the company. After watching this epic 25 minute match, in which Smith won the title in front of his hometown fans, I kinda got depressed over how bad pro wrestling has become. Ever since the Monday Night Wars and the subsequent monopolization of the industry by Vince McMahon, the quality of the wrestling we see on TV has fallen precipitously. Sure, the stuff in the mid to late 90s was great, especially WWE from 1997-2000, but that was because both the WWF/E and WCW were fighting to survive and defeat each other. Each company stepped up their game with interesting storylines that led to phenomenal matches. Remember the Bret Hart-Steve Austin feud that culminated in their bloodbath submission match at WrestleMania XIII? As great as the buildup for that match was, the match itself is what everyone remembers, and it was really the catalyst for the huge wave of success the WWF enjoyed the next three years. The early days of the NWO were really the only time I enjoyed watching WCW programming, mainly because their cool attitudes and weeky takeover of "Nitro" were a perfect complement to their in-ring performances. Until a victor was declared in this five year battle for wrestling supremacy, us fans were the real winners.

Now as I watch "Raw", which I have done practially every Monday since May, 1993, I see hot women in skimpy outfits jumping around. I see 2o minute interviews opening up each episode, and most of them are bad. I see WWE trying to force us to accept their wrestlers as mainstream stars. The reason Hulk Hogan, the Rock, and the like transcended wrestling was because they earned that status. Now, we see wrestlers making rap albums and starring in crappy movies not because the public demands it, but because WWE is desperate to get us to like them for more than just the two hours a week they are on "Raw" or "Smackdown". I see the same wrestlers in the main event week in and week out, and the matches have become stale and predictable. I also see talented wrestlers stuck in horrible storylines and gimmicks that give them absolutely no chance to get ahead in the company. Basically, I see a company that has become so stale and predictable, that not even the Internet (a helpful but destructive force in wrestling) is needed to figure out what's gonna happen next.

While the golden age of wrestling has passed and isn't likely to return any time soon, it is nice to look back on those days, and how great it was to be a wrestling fan. It was a time when the biggest female star wasn't some plastic bimbo that posed in Playboy, but rather the lovely and very classy (and sadly, the departed) Miss Elizabeth. It was a time when the announcers weren't a bunch of loudmouths with two or three catch phrases. No, the precision of Gordon Solie, or the hilarious banter and chemistry between Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan, further enhanced the already good matches. Storylines were simple but not insulting to our intelligence, and they played a secondary part to the matches they built up. Furthermore, once the match happened, that rivalry was done for a while, not continued in an endless string of rematches.

I know this all sounds stupid; that I'm complaining about pro wrestling focusing too much on entertainment, but you don't know what wrestling means to me. I remember watching Hulk Hogan beat King Kong Bundy in a cage match when I was two. I remember being amazed at how many people were in the Pontiac Silverdome for WrestleMania III the next year. I remember being over Stiffler's house when I was ten and watching Crush take on Yokozuna for the WWF title. I knew it was all scripted, and that Yokozuna would probably keep the title since it made more sense for the angles, but damnit did Ryan and I cheer for Crush, and there were a couple times we thought he was actually gonna win it. Hell, even though I was 15, I remember my jaw dropping as the Undertaker threw Mankind off the top of a 20 foot cage and on to the Mellon Arena floor (yeah, I was there for that match...I rule). Pro wrestling has been a major part of my life since the day I was born, but now my interest in it is waning and I want that old feeling back. I want to feel that hysteria I felt when the Hulkster made one of his trademark comebacks. I want to feel the respect and admiration I had for two men the way I did after Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat fought to a legendary 45 minute draw. I want to be intimidated the same way Jake "The Snake" Roberts' opponents were when he gave an interview. I want to feel that sense of accomplishment and pride a deserving wrestler feels when he finally wins the world title. There's no reason WWE can't bring back these feelings to wrestling fans, both old and new.

Unfortunately, it seems like all they will do is put out another DVD.

The Olympics, Gretchen Bleiler, the Buccos, and More

2006-02-24T16:44:00.000-05:00

by Kamo

The 2006 Winter Olympics are winding down and as of this moment I have taken an interest in almost (the little bit I am interested in will be discussed below) nothing that they have had to offer. My problem with the winterized version of the Olympics is that there aren't very many people who I would consider a world-class athlete that participate. There are no Michael Johnson's or Michael Phelps'- two people who will train day-in and day-out for years on end just to have the opportunity to compete, much less simply show up and make fools of themselves and their country. I have a problem with these children (and I use that term because that is exactly what they are) going out and wearing America's colors and being an absolute disgrace. For instance, Lindsey Jacobellis clearly had a gold medal. I mean, all she had to do was go 25 yards and it was hers. So, what does she do? Showboats her way to a miserable crash and finishes with the silver. In all seriousness, at that point the American Olympic committee should have scooped her up out of the snow, put her sorry ass on a plane, and given her a note reading, "Stick with the X-Games... Loser." It is really not so much that I hate the Olympics as it is that I hate who has been given the opportunity to represent our country. If you are going to tell me this is the best we can do, then to be honest, lets not even show up. When I saw the latest Sports Illustrated cover with winter games athletes, I almost puked when I realized not all of them were standing there with gold medals. To me, the only way you are happy with a silver or bronze is if your American teammate beats you for the gold. If you can tell me that being second best or third best is, "like, totally rad and stuff," then you have no business doing anything but sitting at home watching like I do. We have the best training equipment, best facilities, and the best coaches. So for all of you who failed in Turino, please do not be happy with being anything less than the best because as soon as you do that you jeopardize what our country stands for- Excellence.

Ode to Gretchen Bleiler
Oh Gretchen, how do I love thee? Do I love thee for your flowing golden locks? Do I love thee for the fact that you are quite possibly the sexiest Olympic athlete- winter or summer- EVER? Do I love thee because you look so cute in your little ski hat with snow falling oh so softly on your shoulders? Well, the answer is that I love thee for all of those- and for pictures like this...

... or possibly for the fact that you look so adorable next to your snowboard.

Yes, Gretchen, based off looks alone you are every man's fantasy, but you are indeed so much more. You are one of the few who actually works at her craft and for that I thank you. In addition, my phone number is (304) 281-9709... call me anytime you need me to be your little snow bunny.

Welcome Back, Pittsburgh Pirates
Here is what awaits you: A city still hyped up over their team's recent Super Bowl win, a division even more loaded with talent, and expectations outside of your own clubhouse that are lower than the average reader's IQ. There is a silver lining, however: You are going to be- SURPRISE!- a good ballclub. Now before you completely shut me off here, look at it a little closer because the Buccos have assembled some bullpen help, a decent, if not young, rotation and some major league caliber hitters to protect Jason Bay in what was a terrible offense. Guys like Sean Casey, Jeremy Burnitz, and Joe Randa are veterans who can play the game the way it should be played. Hopefully they will rub off on the likes of Jose Castillo, Ryan Doumit, and Nate McLouth. In addition, Roberto Hernandez and Damaso Marte will bring some power arms to the bullpen while the starting rotation will be anchored by Zach Duke- a player that I think can be Cy Young material in a few years. Stay tuned in the coming weeks for the MLB preview to see just where the Pirates rank among the best in the game.

Odds & Ends
Antwaan Randle El reportedly wants to play in Chicago next season. Apparently he thinks that the Bears are closer to the Super Bowl than the Steelers are. I am kind of on the fence about this one because I am not a huge Randle El fan, however, the man does bring a capacity to this offense that not many other players can. His role in the famed, "Gadget Plays" that the Steelers love so much cannot be matched by many others. My only hope is that if he is not re-signed, the Steelers will bring in someone that will be somewhat of the gamebreaker that was lacking at times last season... Notre Dame has gotten its first verbal commitment for the class of 2007 in DE Kerry Neal out of Bunn (N.C.) High School. Neal is a long kid (6'3, 225) and can play both DE and LB which should suit him well in an Irish uniform. Hopefully this is the first of many- are you listening Jimmy Clausen- commitments to announce in the coming weeks... The news of Barry Bonds' pending retirement at the end of this season should come as no surprise to anyone who has followed the fiasco that is steroid testing in Major League Baseball. The last thing Bonds wants to do is take that home run title from Hank Aaron because it will push him even further under the microscope for years to come. Bonds is no dummy and he knows what the consequences of becoming the home run record holder could be. Kind of sad for quite possibly the greatest baseball record of all time, eh?

Well, thats it for tonight. Sorry about my hiatus from posting- it seems I had a nasty hangnail that made my status day-to-day, but I am happy to report I am fully healed and ready to rock. Until next time, enjoy the end of the Olympics.

A Pucking Disgrace

2006-02-19T18:09:00.000-05:00

"Business is a game, the greatest game in the world if you know how to play it." - Thomas J. Watson.

It's really a great time to be a sports fan in Pittsburgh. The Steelers just won their fifth Super Bowl and are on top of the football world, and this week marks the beginning of spring training for the Pirates, who finally seem to have a young, talented nucleus of players to complement the respectable free agents they have signed. In the college ranks the Pitt basketball team has now won 20+ games for a school record fifth straight season, and are ranked in the top ten despite being considered a rebuilding team by everyone at the start of the season. Pitt's football team, despite a disappointing 5-6 performance in Dave Wannstedt's first season as coach, has assembled a recruiting class widely considered to be among the top 15 in the nation. If these recruits pan out, Pitt could be a force to be reckoned with in the next couple years.

And then there are the Penguins, who seem to bring all that positive energy crashing down.

To the casual observer, the Penguins seem to have done pretty well for themselves in the past 20 seasons: twelve playoff appearances, two Stanley Cups, the longest winning streak in NHL history, and a whole mess of individual awards won by their players. But when you look beyond the on-ice stuff, you see arguably the worst-run franchise in sports. Sure, the Bengals, Clippers, and Devil Rays may have been more pathetic and drawn more fan hatred, but I don't think those organizations are close to the Pens in terms of spending tons of money with the expectation that even making a fraction of it back would be remarkable, nor did they let the players dictate so much of what went on in the organization.

Here's a quick recap of the Penguins first 17 or 18 years: they stunk. They had a hard time competing against the big teams (Montreal, Chicago, Toronto, and the like) for the first few years, and when they finally managed to get some offense and make the playoffs in the 70s, they were quickly eliminated thanks to a lousy defense.

The first bad business move occurred towards the end of the 1983-84 season, which is better known as the Mario Lemieux Sweepstakes Season. The Penguins had the worst record in the NHL, and in order to keep that distinction, lock up the first overall pick, and use that pick to get Lemieux, they "didn't try as hard to win" the last few games. Yes, they tanked the last quarter of the season in order to get the best young player to come along in years. In retrospect this plan worked out brilliantly. Lemieux became the most talented player ever and has done more for the franchise than maybe any man in any sport. But what would have happened if he became the next Ryan Leaf? In an industry where a lot of money is spent on people that are expected to win, intentionally trying to lose in order to possibly make a big move is not the brightest of things to do. Again, the Pens got really lucky it all worked out, but it could have been a lot worse.

So they get Lemieux and a bunch of other great players and in 1991 they finally win their first Stanley Cup. During the offseason their coach, Bob Johnson, died of cancer, and was replaced by the Pens' director of player personnel, Scotty Bowman. He's the winningest coach in NHL history, and has led nine teams in a record three different franchises to the Stanley Cup. With Bowman behind the bench, and with a roster that boasted no less than seven or eight current or future Hall of Famers, the Pens once again won it all in 1992, and stormed through the 1992-93 season with such ease that a third straight cup was a virtual lock. After winning their final 17 games of the regular season, they breezed through the first round, but lost to the Islanders in the next round in a stunning seven-game upset. After this Bowman was let go, mainlly because the star players didn't like his Draconian coaching style. They were developing a dangerous country club atmosphere in the locker room, and Bowman's personality didn't fit in, even though he might be the best coach in any team sport.

So through the 90s the Pens made the playoffs annually, and the team was a virtual all-star roster. What's the problem with this, you ask? Well, all-star players don't come cheap. The team shelled out big bucks for these players, even though there was virtually no chance that they could generate enough revenue to keep afloat. By early 1998 the financial situation was so dire that the team filed for bankruptcy. In danger of moving or even ceasing to exist, Mario Lemieux once again saved the team, heading an ownership group that vowed to keep the team in the Burgh. Making sure they stayed was one reason Lemieux bought the Pens, but the main reason was that he wanted to get the salary he was owed from his first stint as a player. They couldn't afford to pay him, and it's a testament to his loyalty that he stayed instead of telling them to piss off and go get paid somewhere else.

A year after taking control of the team, Lemieux returned to the ice and surprisingly led the Pens to the conference finals. That was the last time they made the postseason. In the summer of 2001 they traded away Jaromir Jagr in what was nothing more than an Aramis Ramirez-esque salary dump. The same fate befell Alexei Kovalev, and Robert Lang and Martin Straka were deemed too expensive to resign and went elsewhere. During this time, the coaching situation was a fiasco thanks to the aforementioned country club locker room. Kevin Constantine was fired after two-plus seasons because he didn't get along with Jaromir Jagr. The next season the Pens hired Czech legend Ivan Hlinka as a way to keep Jagr happy. However, he was fired four games into his second year (the first of which was a playoff season, mind you) because he didn't grasp the English language. At least that's what they said. The real reason was that they lost those first four games and the organization was such a mess something had to be done to save face. Think about it. What does the English language have to do with a sport dominated by French Canadians and eastern Europeans?

Anyway, Rick Kehoe replaced him...and sucked. He was then replaced by Lemieux's friend and former teammate Eddie Olczyk. He had no coaching experience on any level of hockey. He was the Pens' color commentator for Fox Sports, and was hired mainly because he's Lemieux's friend. After his first year, which was dreadful, the NHL owners locked out the players, and the 2004-05 season was cancelled. When the league reopened under a new, more even system, the Pens made what initially appeared to be some fantastic moves. They won the draft lottery and selected wonderkid Sidney Crosby, and signed stars such as John LeClair, Ziggy Palffy, and Sergei Gonchar. When goalie Jocelyn Thibault was acquired in a trade, fans everywhere were convinced that this was a playoff team, and maybe more.

The Pens lost their first nine games of the 2005-06 season, and have been a colossal failure since. Palffy and Lemieux have retired, all the big name stars have been dreadful (especially Gonchar...ugh), and the team as a whole has not been able to get it together. The only bright spots have been Crosby and goalie Marc Andre-Fleury, whom the Pens were thinking about sending back to the minors so they wouldn't have to pay his major-league salary. Olczyk was fired a couple months ago and was replaced with Michel Therrien. Despite being a good coach and one who is not afraid to criticize his players in public, the team is still a joke.

As if their on-ice performance isn't enough, the organization as a whole is once again in turmoil. The team desperately needs a new arena, and has an agreement with a casino company that will pay for it provided they get the slots license. Unfortunately, the state and local governments are more poorly organized than the Pens, and there's a chance that this won't happen. If a new arena is not secured soon, the Pens will be free to leave, and there's no chance they will stay in what has been the NHL's oldest venue for a few years. Even if the Pens had reached the second round of the playoffs this year, they still would have lost $7 million because of the revenues Mellon Arena can't generate.

Some of the Penguins' problems are not their fault. It wasn't a poor business move that caused Bob Johnson's death, or Lemieux's cancer, and for a while their inadequacies were due to the economic system in hockey. But then you look at all the good coaches and proven that were driven out of town because one or two stars didn't like him, and you look at all the money they didn't have that was still thrown at players to keep them here. The franchise as a whole has been poorly run for the better part of twenty years, and something needs to change quickly. The question is, in what city will this change occur?

The Epic of Pittsburgh

2006-02-06T20:37:00.000-05:00

"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." - John Milton

Throughout history tales have been told of great leaders and their conquests. Men such as Alexander the Great, who ruled the known world, and Scipio, who defeated Hannibal and enabled Rome to survive, and Julius Caesar who led Rome to the brink of an empire whose effects are still seen and felt today. Charlemagne. Genghis Khan. Napoleon.

And now one they call Cowher.

Named general of the Pittsburgh legions by King Rooney II fourteen years ago, Cowher has taken his armies to the precipice of world domination on several occasions, only to suffer bitter defeats every time. Just a year ago he had his strongest collection of soldiers ever, but they were defeated by the northern armies from New England. People in the land of Pittsburgh began to doubt Cowher and wonder how he could lead such talented forces to miserable failure so many times.

But then something magical happened within the past year.

Prince Arthur, son of King Rooney II, gave the embattled general a vote of confidence and a declaration that it was time to take what was rightfully theirs. They set out on the fields of Vincent in the heat and sun to train for what would be a long and arduous journey to victory. Many faces were the same, but the motivations and skills changed drastically. Bettis, the venerable old warrior, returned for a final campaign. Roethlisberger, the young, promising soldier, now battle tested and ready to atone for past mistakes. Ward, Parker, Randle El, Faneca, Hartings, Porter, Polamalu, Farrior, von Oelhoffen, Hampton, all of them hungry for victory, and willing to sacrifice everything to get it. The new soldiers, Miller, Wilson, Morgan, were brought to Pittsburgh to help their new mates achieve their goal.

The men of Pittsburgh set off on their journey in September, with easy victories against the armies of Tennessee and Houston. After a minor setback to the hated New Englanders, the troops took a break to regroup. A win against the lightning men of San Diego proved costly, as Roethlisberger was hurt and could not participate for a few battles. They would falter against Jacksonville under the guidance of Maddox, but then come roaring back with stunning victories over Cincinnati, Baltimore, Green Bay, and the dog men of Cleveland.

All seemed well for our heroes at this point, until the men from Baltimore retaliated and defeated them. Already down, they were attacked by the seemingly invincible horseback soldiers from Indianapolis, and defeated soundly. Injured, tired, and demoralized, they then suffered a crippling loss to the armies of Cincinnati. It seemed that hope had been lost again, and general Cowher had failed his troops and his homeland one more time.

All hope was not lost, however, and the journey was just beginning.

In the cold snowy fields they stormed through Chicago, and then devastated Minnesota. Suddenly, there was renewed optimism, and the fire in each soldier's heart was rekindled. The dogs of Cleveland waged another battle but were no match. An easy victory over Detroit paved the way for a chance at revenge on Cincinnati and then Indianapolis. Cowher's strategies and the soldiers' executions were flawless, as both lands became parts of the budding Pittsburgh empire. Next, they traveled through the mountains to Denver, where Shannahan and Plummer's best efforts were no match for the works of Cowher, Rotehlisberger, and the rejuvenated, confident, and nearly impossible to defeat.

One more land needed to be conquered. The northwest territories of Seattle, whose army, led by Holmgren, Hasselbeck, and Alexander, were on an equally successful run, and who provided a formidable foe for Pittsburgh.

The citizens of Pittsburgh sent their soldiers off to battle in grand style, waving towels as they set out for the battlefield. Clad in black, gold, and white, the men of Pittsburgh were ready for one final battle to determine who controls the world. And on that cold snowy day, Cowher and his troops defeated those forces from Seattle, and laid claim to the title, "Champions of the World." Cowher is no longer a failure, but instead a legendary leader whose song will be sung as long as there are voices to sing it. Bettis retired after the last battle, going down in history as one of the greatest combatants to ever step on a field. The rest of the soldiers will celebrate, but not for long, as many uprising will occur, and many attempts will be made to conquer them. Every house in every land in every direction now has a gold towel hanging in it, and every flagpole waves the flag of the new Pittsburgh Empire:

Journalism?

2006-01-30T21:07:00.000-05:00

by Wilson.

SIX MORE DAYS

Yes, six more days until our beloved Steelers play in Super Bowl XL. It's the biggest sporting event of the year, and not just because of the game. For two weeks, one city in America is the center of civilization, and the eager participant in a media orgy. This year is extra crazy around here, as all the local networks are having non-stop coverage of this event.

However, the national media has been less friendly, and there are two articles in particular that have really chapped my ass. The first comes courtesy of ESPN.com and their page 2 bag of hot air Skip Bayless. You might know him from that First and Ten show, where he argues his points at really loud volumes and annoys the shit out of me in the process. Bayless complains about how bland of a Super Bowl this is, and how no one outside of Seattle and Pittsburgh care about the game. He's upset that the game doesn't feature any of his golden boys: Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, or Michael Vick. Well, Skip, too friggin bad. Contrary to what you east coast biased morons think, people do care about this game. The Steelers playoff run has brought CBS its highest football ratings of the season, and there is no larger or more loyal fan base than that of the black and gold. Just watch a Steeler away game, and you're likely to see more people waving Terrible Towels than cheering for the home team. But you wouldn't know that, since your head is so far up Tom Brady's ass. And what's this crap about the Seahawks being nobodies? They were the #1 seed in the NFC, and they got this guy called Shaun Alexander. You might remember him from when he led the league in rushing this year, or maybe when he beat Brady for the NFL MVP. Bayless is also tired of hearing about Jerome Bettis and his family and his homecoming. Gee, it's a real travesty to hear about one of sports' greatest people possibly ending a stellar career with a league title. Why don't you go interview your boyfriend Terrell Owens and ask how he's been since he was thrown off an Eagles team he pretty much destroyed? Skip Bayless, you are an idiot, and one of the main reasons ESPN sucks anymore.

And now we go to Kevin Eck, writer for the Balitmore Sun. Here are just a couple quotes in his bitchy article about how he hates the Steelers:

"Every season I hope for four things. First and foremost, it's that the Ravens win the Super Bowl. After that (in order), it's that the Steelers, Washington Redskins and Indianapolis Colts don't win it."

"The reasons for hating the Steelers go beyond the fact that they are an AFC North rival. For starters, there's Bill Cowher's chiseled chin, Joey Porter's motor mouth and Jerome Bettis' bloated belly."

"It's the Steelers fans, however, that are truly loathsome. Has there ever been a more overbearing, obnoxious, foul-mouthed, slovenly bunch? And that's just the women.But as irritating as Steelers fans are, with their ridiculous towels and "One for the Thumb" slogan, Ravens fans have always had plenty of comebacks for their boasts and taunts."

I heard about this article on WDVE today, and a man called in and let all Pittsburghers know exactly where this moron lives. This article was pure jealousy, and it got me thinking about how inferior the Ravens are to the Steelers in several key aspects:

Team Name: The Steelers are named after steelworkers, tough men that were once the backbone of our local economy and a major part of our nation's economy. The Ravens are named after an Edgar Allan Poe poem. Poe was insane and drank heavily. They may as well have named their team after a Motley Crue song.

Coaching: The Steelers have Bill Cowher, "The Chin". The Ravens have Brian Billick, "The Asshole".

QB: The Steelers have a winner in Ben Roethlisberger. In two seasons he has lost only four games, and taken his team to two AFC title games, winning the second. The Ravens have Kyle Boller, who has been nothing short of a dud. He was benched in favor of Anthony Wright, for Christ's sake.

Famous RB: The Steelers have Jerome Bettis, a class act and a guaranteed first-ballot hall of famer. When the Steelers get near the end zone, it's a guarantee he's gonna barrell across that white line for six. The Ravens have Jamal Lewis. When the Ravens get near the end zone, it's a guarantee he's gonna try to snort that white line and get six to twelve for it.

Loudmouth Linebacker: The Steelers have Joey Porter, who was shot last year, and who has backed up his words this postseason with some of the finest games of his career. The Ravens' Ray Lewis once helped friends stab people, then got out of three counts of murder by squealing on them. He is unable to back up his words because he is always injured, and even if he were healthy he isn't what he once was.

Owners: Art Rooney, one of the NFL's patriarchs and a giant in football history. His son, Dan, has done more to make the NFL the juggernaut it is today than anyone not named Rozelle or Tagliabue. The Ravens' Art Modell is a carpetbagger who took the Cleveland Browns, one of the proudest and most storied franchises in sports, to Baltimore for a bigger payday. What a great guy. I hope he takes a wrong turn and ends up in Cleveland some day.

History: The Steelers have been around for 73 seasons, have won four Super Bowls, six AFC titles, and have 17 people enshrined in the hall of fame. The Ravens have been around for ten, and won a Super Bowl mainly because their defense was good. Trent Dilfer was the QB for that team. Trent Dilfer. I'd rather have no history than that history.

Colors: The Steelers have that imposing black and gold. A perfect contrast of dark and light, toughness and majesty. The Ravens' colors are purple and black. Now where have I seen purple and black together before...

Um, good choice, Baltimore.

So Kevin Eck, Skip Bayless, and all you other peons of the media, sit your dumb asses down at 6:30 on Sunday and watch the Super Bowl. It features two great teams, and should be a good game, even if Tom Brady isn't there.

Tune in next week, where I hope to have a very pleasant review of the Steelers' 2005 season. Until then...

GO STEELERS

Open Mouth... Insert Foot

2006-01-29T18:43:00.000-05:00

by Kamo

The comment (or shall we say, "comments") turned out to be so ridiculously wrong that the person who made them should never be allowed to make a statement regarding professional sports again. Following a loss to the Bengals which was capping off a 3 game slide, I opened my mouth with two requests: "Bill Cowher needs to step down because it is clearly time for a change. And, while on the subject of change, if Jerome Bettis doesn't retire after this season I am going to puke." Looking back, they were thoughts so asanine that they made Beano Cook's, "Ronnie Powlus will win two Heisman Trophies," remark look ingenius. These were words that came from a person who, up until last Sunday at around 6:30, could have still salvaged his reputation as a somewhat knowledgeable figure when it comes to anything regarding sports. But alas, both Cowher and Bussie made me look like an utter moron in winning the AFC Championship and heading to Detroit for Super XL.

For Cowher, this Super Bowl trip could allow him to finally shed the "Can Never Win the Big One" label that he has carried like a bad disease. Even if he doesn't win it, what Cowher did in getting this team from having to win in Week 17 to simply make the playoffs to playing for it all was nothing short of spectacular. The gameplan that he and his staff came up with for each game put them one step ahead of the other team each round. In what was arguably his most impressive win to date, he took his team back into Indianapolis just over a month after the massacre that had previously occurred there and, for all intents and purposes, beat down the supposedly unstoppable Colts. So, for everything you have done for this city and this team, I apologize for saying that you need to go- if anything you need to stay, for as long as you want.

As for you Bussie, well I wrote my ode to you a couple of weeks ago and I don't need to elaborate on how much respect I have for you. What I will say is that I only thought that retirement should happen for you because the saddest thing you will ever see in sports is a superstar in the dwindling days of their career because it is like watching snow melt in the spring: it was so fun while it was here, but afterwhile it gets slushy and ugly and you can't wait for the warm weather to start. So Bussie, go ahead, enjoy the warmth after this Sunday... no one deserves it more than you.

So, there it is- I was wrong. Big time wrong. But, I am not a proud man and therefore I can admit my mistakes so all of you who said I was right (you know you are out there) step up and do the right thing: Open mouth... insert foot.

The Greatest?

2006-01-25T21:20:00.000-05:00

First off I want to laugh at Dan Bartosh, whose Mile High Salute away messages look really stupid after our Steelers humiliated the Broncos in the AFC Championship. What are ya gonna put in there for the Super Bowl, a big 12? At this rate, that's what the Seahawks will be getting by kickoff.

Now on to business. The euphoria we all experienced after Sunday's big win was quickly eradicated by Mario Lemieux's sudden retirement announcement on Tuesday. Citing a heart condition and inability to regain his old form in the new NHL (and also probably influenced by the sad condition of the franchise and his inability to get a new arena...more on this in a week or two), "Le Magnifique" called it quits after a glorious 17 year career that included two Stanley Cups, six scoring titles, and two MVPs. He also overcame back problems and a little cancer problem, making his career all the more impressive, and at the same time leaving us wondering "what if"...

Over the past two days we have read and heard about how Lemieux is the greatest athlete in Pittsburgh sports history. That's quite a claim to make, considering the long list of legends that have called our fair city home. It really does make you wonder, who is the greatest athlete to ever play for a Pittsburgh team?

We currently have several good candidates. Jerome Bettis is fifth on the NFL's all-time rushing yardage list, and has been the heart of the Steelers for the past ten years. But he has never won a Super Bowl, and Franco Harris still has more yards while wearing the Black and Gold. The ring is also lacking on Hines Ward's resume, although in a couple years he will own every major team receiving record by a large margin. Ben Roethlisberger has been playing like Christ in shoulder pads lately, and has quickly established himself as one of the top three or four quarterbacks in the league. He's one that might be worth watching.

The Pirates and Penguins each have a strong potential candidate in Jason Bay and Sidney Crosby, respectively. Bay has been the model of consistency on the field and a class act off it, and unlike a former Bucco left-fielder (Barry Bonds, not here long enough to merit consideration), he'll be here for a while. Crosby has played a little over half an NHL season, but he is already showing the same flashes of brilliance that Lemieux showed 21 years ago. If he stays here, and if the Penguins stay here and get their shit together, we could be putting him at the top of the list.

The 70s were loaded with candidates. The Steelers of that decade were the greatest football team ever assembled, and there were some amazing individual talents. However, the thing that made them the best was the fact that they did not rely on just one or two guys, and so no one player really stood out as the king of the team, so none of them qualify. Roberto Clemente was arguably the finest right fielder baseball had ever seen, and he is definitely in my top five. But he misses out on the top spot because of some of his self-induced alienation from the Pirates and the city (I realize it wasn't all his fault, but based on what I have read and seen on TV, he didn't have that "Pittsburghosity" that we so greatly love). As Clemente's career was winding down, Willie Stargell's was just revving up. No one hit more home runs than he did in the 70s, and in some ballparks no one has yet to hit them farther, and his leadership and character were the impetus for the 1979 world championship season. Sadly, he is often overlooked when talking about the absolute greatest players ever, and being overlooked is not on the list of criteria for greatest Pittsburgh athlete ever.

There have been some great athletes that spent their high school or college careers in the 'Burgh. Tony Dorsett, Charles Smith, Larry Fitzgerald, Marcus Fisher, and Dan Marino come to mind. But four years really isn't long enough to dominate such a heavy list. The same fate befalls Pittsburgh athletes that competed in sports other than the major four. Kurt Angle, Bruno Sammartino, and Arnold Palmer all ascended to the top of their respective sport, and in each case took it to brand new heights of popularity. But wrestling and golf are niche sports that aren't appreciated by enough people.

That leaves two people that could be the greatest athlete in Pittsburgh history. The first is Lemieux. The numbers speak for themselves. His talent was unmatched, and made even more impressive by his massive physique. He was so good he made difficult things look easy, and impossible things look possible. He saved the franchise in 1984, and again in 1999 when he took over ownership of the team. Here's hoping that whoever buys the team is able to keep it here and get them a new house.

But there is one man, one athlete, who has worn our colors and been better: Honus Wagner.

First off, Wagner was a native Pittsburgher, born in what is now Carnegie. Being a hometown guy goes a long way in getting hometown props. When the Pirates acquired him in 1900 from the folding Louisville Colonels, it was the steal of the century. Over the next 18 years with the Bucs he would post some of the most incredible numbers in baseball history. He led the NL in batting average a whopping eight times, and in RBI and stolen bases five times each, and his fielding was just as good. He led the Pirates to five NL pennants and two World Series, including the first one. In the 1909 Series he outplayed Ty Cobb, as the Pirates beat Detroit for their first ever world title. He was one of the first five inductees to the baseball Hall of Fame. Legendary manager John McGraw, who is second on the all-time wins list, always regarded Wagner as the greatest player ever, saying about his hitting, "Chuck him the ball as hard as you can... and pray." Wagner was also a hell of a guy off the field, and his trading card is the most valuable one in the world. It is truly a shame we do not have video footage of his playing, because maybe then we could appreciate his statue in front of PNC Park a little more.

That's all for this week. Tune in next week, when hopefully we're celebrating. Peace.

This is the NFL Playoffs...

2006-01-16T20:50:00.000-05:00

Nice try, Paul Tagliabue.

Cry me a river, Phil Simms.

When these NFL playoffs started last weekend, it was obvious that there were only two teams that mattered: the Indianapolis Colts and the New England Patriots. The week leading up to the Wild Card round, all you heard about was how Tom Brady was so great and how the Pats were the most dangerous team in the postseason. Nevermind the fact that they had a down year and were on their 38th string cornerback (I was two injuries away from getting PT); they were the Patriots, and everyone, especially the knuckleheads that now pervade ESPN's programming, were kissing their asses.

And when we weren't hearing about the Pats, we heard about the Colts, who apparently will never lose again. We heard about the death of Tony Dungy's son, which while tragic, got so overexposed people almost stopped caring. We heard about Peyton Manning and how unstoppable he is. Lost in all of this was the unavoidable rust that Indy's top players would have after a bye week and an insignificant final two games of the regular season.

So we go through the Wild Card round, and the Pats steamroll Jacksonville (who were given no chance and played like they didn't deserve any to begin with), 28-3. New England would then move on to Denver, who had a fantastic season and the #2 seed in the AFC. Go to Denver, which is one of the toughest stadiums in which to win? Who cares? It's Tom Brady, and the Patriots, the greatest team ever. Even when questions were asked about the Broncos and their seemingly nonexistent chances of winning, all anyone on TV could talk about was Brady.

Our Steelers run over, under, through, around, and any other direction you can think of on the Bung-I mean Bengals en route to a convincing 31-17 win. The prize for stomping the #3 seed? A trip to Indy, where the Colts walloped the Steelers 26-7 on a Monday night back in November. For that game, Ben Roethlisberger was returning from knee surgery, and Marvel Smith was out and replaced by rookie Trai Essex, who had the unenviable task of blocking Dwight Freeney. The Colts scored an 80 yard touchdown on their first play, and despite what the score says, the Steeler defense didn't do all that bad. They had Manning confused and off his game. But did anyone remember that for this game? Nope. Nobody in the national media cared, and no one gave the Steelers a snowball's chance in hell of even beating the spread. The way they were talking, Pittsburgh should have just stayed home and let the Colts run a practice for the AFC championship.

So it's Saturday night, and CBS is showing the Pats-Broncos game. Phil Simms is the announcer, and he is doing his usual praising of Tom Brady to the point that I want to puke (I would puke later that night, but for other reasons...). What he was missing during this on-air fellatio was the fact that the Broncos were beating New England up and down the field, forcing five turnovers and ultimately hammering the Pats 27-13. Bust out the Kleenex, Phil, the Pats' dynasty is over, and it was an ugly fall.

Sunday we were treated to the most abominable display of officiating in NFL history. Seriously, this was worse than that coin toss in '98, of which the Steelers were also the victims. Blatant pass interference penalties were not called, an obvious interception by Troy Polamalu was reversed for some absurd reason, giving the Colts the ball back and helping them pull within three points. And maybe the worst call ever, Indy defensive linemen jumped the line yelling for a false start call on Alan Faneca, and some made contact with the Steeler offensive linemen, who were still in position. No flag was thrown, so it should have been offsides, right? Wrong. The refs called for a do-over. Yes, the NFL division round had been reduced to backyard football with the other kids on your block. The refs gave the Colts so many chances to win that something had to be up. Joey Porter was right, they wanted the Colts in the AFC title game. They already lost their one darling when Brady shit the bed, so they had to get Manning in there. Lucky for us, the Steelers played and coached such a brilliant game that not even an 18-11 disadvantage on the field could keep them from losing.

So now what do we hear on TV? The fall of the Patriot Empire, which must be more tragic than the death of Pope John Paul II, and how the Colts choked and blew the game. It wasn't the game plan, the blitzing, the desire, the momentum of the Steelers, but rather the great Colts just had an off day. Give me a fucking break.

If you know anything about football, you are thanking God that the Colts, Pats, New York Giants, or the Eagles (whose season ended back in...oh...September) are not playing this Sunday. The two conference title games-Pittsburgh at Denver and Carolina at Seattle-are everything you could wish for. Even though there aren't any commercial stars or video game cover girls, there are plenty of great football players and storylines.

We have rushing champ and NFL MVP Shaun Alexander and the Seahawks, who won their first playoff game in 388 years this past weekend. Can Alexander recover from a concussion and, with QB Matt Hasselbeck, lead the Seahawks to their first Super Bowl?

Can Jake Delhomme and Steve Smith, who may be the best receiver in football, connect enough to overcome the loss of RB Deshaun Foster and reach the big game for the second time in three years?

Can somebody tell me where the hell Jake Plummer came from? And can he put together another good game to take Denver to their first Super Bowl since some ugly dude named Elway was their quarterback?

And then we have the Steelers. Jerome Bettis, a guaranteed Hall of Famer and 5th all time in rushing yards, almost ended his career by giving away the game winning fumble. Can he finally get to the Super Bowl, which will be in his hometown of Detroit? And what about Ben Roethlisberger, who made the tackle on that fumble return that saved the game, season, and Bettis's legacy. This is his second year, and he has only lost five games out of 30. He was tired and off his game in the playoffs last year, but that experience has manifested into remarkable poise, control, and leadership this year. Could we see a 24 year old hoist the Lombardi Trophy?

If you are a true NFL fan, you will be glued to a television somewhere this Sunday. If you are a bandwagon Pats or Peyton fan...bowling's gonna be on ESPN.

Thanks for the Ride Bus

2006-01-12T20:13:00.000-05:00

by Kamo

Lets go back to the 1996 NFL Draft. The Pittsburgh Steelers, searching for a running back to replace the great Eric Pegram, trade a 2nd round pick in the '96 Draft and a 4th round selection in the '97 Draft to St. Louis for a former 1,000 yard rusher who had fallen out of favor with the Rams (In addition, the pick of Lawerence Phillips made a little room as well- morons.) The trade for Jerome Bettis on that draft day made minor national headlines, but for me it was an exciting time because a former member of the greatest college football team in the land (Notre Dame, of course) was going to play for the greatest NFL team in the land. Almost 10 years later, "The Bus" is almost ready to pull into the garage for a final time so I figured we should pay homage to undoubtedly the most unselfish player in the Steelers', and quite possibly the NFL's, storied history.

1996 - In Bettis' first season with the Steelers he was nothing short of spectacular finishing with over 1400 yards rushing and earning AFC Offensive Player of the Month for November. He was also named the Steelers' MVP and a consensus All-Pro as well.

1997 - For the second consecutive season, Bettis was named Steelers' MVP becoming the first player since Terry Bradshaw to accomplish the feat. He finished second in the AFC and third in the NFL with 1,655 yards rushing, just 26 yards shy of the team record held by Barry Foster. He was named AFC Offensive Player of the Month for October and in a late-season game against Arizona he scored a career high 3 rushing touchdowns.

1998 & 1999 - In 1998 he had his third consecutive 1,000 yard season for the Steelers, finishing with 1,185 yards and scoring 3 TDs. In '99 he rushed for 1,091 yards and a team high 7 touchdowns despite having knee surgery in August and not returning to the active roster until after the preseason.

2000 - Amidst talk that he was overweight and too old, Bettis responded with his best season in 2 years with 1,341 yards rushing and a team-high 8 touchdowns. He once again missed most of the preseason with a bad knee, but bounced back and won the team's MVP Award for the third time since joining the Steelers.

2001 - Surpassed the 1,000-yard mark once again as the Steelers posted an NFL-best 14-2 mark and came one game shy of playing in the Super Bowl. Was a key component in the Steelers' success that season as they got back to playing power football and were one of the most dominant run teams in the NFL.

2002 - Was injured and did not post very impressive numbers, however, he did surpass the 11,000 yard mark for his career, moving past O.J. Simpson for 11th place on the all-time list.

2003 - Became on the 10th player in NFL history to amass 12,000 yards for his career and passed Lynn Swann for 7th all-time scoring list in team history.

2004 - Posted 941 yards rushing which left him just 59 yards shy of his 9th 1,000 yard season as a Steeler, but once again leading the team in rushing. He proved that he still had some bounce left in his legs and, along with Duce Staley, led the Steelers to a 15-1 record and a berth in the AFC Championship game.

2005 - Became the secondary option to Willie Parker, but still scored 9 touchdowns. He had his best game against Chicago as he ran through snow and mud for over 100 yards a touchdown. He will leave the NFL as the 5th leading rusher of all-time with 13,294 yards and 3rd in rushing attempts with 3,369.

While it is true that Jerome Bettis is, statistically speaking, one of the most productive backs to ever play in the NFL, he is also one of the most unslefish. In a time whenver the word, "team" has almost faded away completely, Bettis has shown that it is still possible to put a group of people before oneself. In addition, his off the field work with charities and youth groups is unrivaled by any other sports figure in Pittsburgh. So, for everything that you have done and for everything that you have given the city and the people who support you- Thank You for the "Ride."

2006: A Look Ahead

2006-01-12T18:35:00.001-05:00

Little known fact - I am psychic. I can see into the future, and let me tell you, 2006 is gonna be one wild year in sports. Here are some of the more notable happenings.

January 14: The Denver Broncos defeat the New England Patriots 37-17 as Tom Brady throws four interceptions. This loss, however, does not deter ESPN from still picking the Pats as the most dangerous team in the playoffs.

January 15: Pitt defeats Louisville in front of 64 people, including the band. Everyone else is at home watching the Steeler game.

January 27: PirateFest opens, and fans actually recognize more than three players.

February 5: The Super Bowl is played. I will not say who is in it so as not to jinx anyone, but this much is certain: the Super Bowl will be played.

February 12: The Pro Bowl is played. I will not say who wins, but this much is certain: no one will care.

March 11: Pitt defeats UConn in the Big East title game. It is the end of a long war of attrition in the Big East, as the teams beat each other up so badly, the final was nothing more than half-court 3-on-3.

March 28: Four Notre Dame football players are arrested for robbing a convenience store. Notre Dame fans everywhere say, "Man, I'm so glad that doesn't happen at Notre Dame."

March 30: The Pirates are officially eliminated from the playoffs.

April 1: The Pirates' season opener against the Brewers.

April 18: The NHL playoffs start for the first time in two years. Ratings are at an all-time high as 2500 people tune into OLN hoping for a rodeo but getting hockey instead.

May 17: Kip Wells has his best outing of the season, coming close to a no-hitter. It is broken up with two outs in the top of the first.

June 4: Nearly 100,000 fans at a NASCAR race realize that they are watching a car go around a circle 300 times and leave, damaging the sport forever.

June 12: The Miami Heat win the NBA title, and Shaq retires from both basketball and his job as a deputy. He decides on something less strenuous. Ladies and gentlemen, Shaquille O'Neal: crossing guard.

July 1: Mired in a dreadful 20-63 season, Pirate GM Dave Littlefield announces a new rebuilding program, saying that "Rome was not built in a day." This absurd quote earns him the nickname "Dave LittleCaesar".

July 29: Steeler training camp opens, but fewer people pay attention to it, as the Pirates are on a torrid 25 game winning streak, thanks to Jason Bay's 17 home runs in July.

August 14: A baby in Santa Fe, NM is given a toy basketball. He immediately declares for the NBA draft and signs a $140 million contract with Nike.

August 28: The Pirates are 66-69 thanks in part to a major sports record 41 game winning streak. Jason Bay leads the league with 48 homers, and Oliver Perez leads in strikeouts and ERA.

September 10: At the Steelers home opener, Jerome Bettis becomes the first person to have his number retired by the franchise, and the Steelers honor him by pulverizing the Saints, 66-3.

October 1: The Bengals follow last year's idea of using a 70s funk star (Bootsy Collins) to sing their theme song, bringing back Carl Douglas to do an updated version of "Kung Fu Fighting". This proves to be a bad idea, as Chad Johnson scores a touchdown then judo kicks the ref in the head, decapitating him. The NFL, not wanting to keep one of their stars out of the limelight, fine Johnson $15,000".

October 2: Despite finishing 81-81, all the good Pirates are traded away, and replaced by the likes of Darnell Coles, Rafael Belliard, Steve Blass, and Josh Morrow. Jose Lind was not found and thus unable to be signed.

October 21: After defeating Illinois, Penn State coach Joe Paterno announces he is enlisting in the Confederate Army, saying he wants to "support Jefferson Davis in his fight to keep the negroes on the cottonfields." The NAACP calls for his head, but nothing is done. Some overly self-righteous Penn State fans (who think that JoePa's words are more infallible than those of the pope) wholeheartedly agree with him.

October 22: The Kansas City Penguins' home opener.

November 2: The Pirates, believing in second chances, resign Derek Bell and Pat Meares.

November 18: Ohio State beats Michigan 44-10 in front of a record crowd of 107,439. The Buckeye players all get a salary bonus.

December 29: Steelers clinch home-field, Roethlisberger reaches 4,000 yards.

December 31: Terrell Owens celebrates the New Year having not set foot on a football field in nearly 14 months.

Cool year, eh? Til next time, Here We Go...

2006: A Look Ahead

2006-01-12T18:35:00.000-05:00

Nobody's Perfect

2006-01-07T11:04:00.000-05:00

"You throw a rock in the air you're bound to hit someone guilty." - U2, "Dirty Day"

What a fantastic start to 2006! I got some great gifts over Christmas, but none was better than the one on January 2 when I watched Ohio State run over, around, and through the Notre Dame defense in a 34-20 Fiesta Bowl win. The Buckeyes finally lived up to their potential, and if Vince Young goes to the NFL (which he should, what else does he have to do in college?), they should be the #1 team going into the preseason (with ND not far behind, much to my displeasure). So what if they lose their linebackers? They're always loaded there, and next year they will be led by sophomore James Laurinaitis. He should have some toughness in him, considering his father was Animal:

Um, no not that Animal. This one:

Animal, one half of the Road Warriors, who were the greatest tag team in professional wrestling history. These guys were so badass they even scared the people that knew wrestling wasn't real. Here's hoping James adopts his father's facepaint for games.

While it was no surprise to me that OSU stomped the Irish, I was shocked when nobody, especially the ND fans, made Ohio State jokes after the game. All season I had heard about the "Ohio State football factory" and how their players are always getting in trouble. Maybe it was just some holiday kindness on the part of my friends.

Or maybe they realized that their schools are no better.

I know that Ohio State has had a lot of problems recently and to their credit they have been trying hard to repair their image and crack down on the trouble. But for people that go to or cheer for other schools to come up to me and make fun of OSU and their shortcomings is downright hypocritical. Over the past few years it seems as though an epidemic of trouble has spread through college sports, and football in particular. It is no longer relegated to just UNLV or the entire state of Florida. It's everywhere, even the school whose logo is on your hat or shirt. But some people refuse to admit that their favorite team or players could commit a heinous act.

Think Notre Dame is perfect? Ask the girl who got gang raped by three of their players.

Next time you chant "We are Penn State", make sure you have a medieval shield on you in case Tyler Reed busts out his bow and arrow.

Nothing bad happens at Maryland? Two words: Len Bias.

Pitt? Gee, I see nothing wrong in 19 year old Billy Gaines getting drunk in a church and then falling 25 feet to his death.

And just yesterday Marcus Vick was kicked off the Virginia Tech team for God knows how many incidents, the last of which was an intentional stomp on the leg of a Louisville player in whatever bowl they were in. Do you know how hard it is for a Vick to get thrown out of Virginia Tech? This guy must be a real piece of work.

I could go on with this forever, and name every school in the country. Hell I can tell you some St. Vincent stories. The point is that this problem is everywhere, and it will stay there until people recognize it happens at their favorite school and not just their rivals'. Too often people deny that it could happen at their school, and even when it does they almost shrug it off. I can't tell you how many Notre Dame fans make excuses about George "Um, sure, yeah I played college football. That's the ticket." O'Leary, saying he sucked anyway and a whole bunch of other lame things that they would not have said had he coached there and won a few games. Right before the Orange Bowl, Penn State coach Joe Paterno practically justified a Florida State LB raping a girl, implying that the girls are always around and the temptation is almost too hard to resist. While it got some negative attention for JoePa, it didn't get nearly as much attention as similar comments made by Bobby Knight a few years ago. Penn State officials probably won't do anything about it, and all the PSU fans will say, "But he's our Joe Paterno. He can't do anything wrong!" These same people would be screaming bloody murder had Jim Tressel or Dave Wannstedt said this, but their arrogance blinds them from realizing it's one of their own that is in the wrong. While JoePa is a decrepit old fuck, he is still a high profile coach of a major college program, and as such he should be held responsible for his words and actions.

College athletes from Ohio State and Notre Dame all the way down to St. Vincent and Seton Hill, are given a great opportunity. They get to play the sports they love while getting an education, many times at little or no cost to them. All they are asked for in return is a promise to represent the school in a good way, both on and off the court. There will always be a few bad apples, and there is no way to avoid that. But as fans we must recognize this and let the coaches, schools, and the entire sports industry know that we will not tolerate it.

BCS Preview

2005-12-30T19:31:00.000-05:00

So it's New Year's, and that means two things: I've cheated death for another 365 days, and it's bowl season. This year, our idiot friends at the BCS have given us two games that have the potential to be classics, and two potential clunkers. Since I want to get to the bar soon, I'll give you a quick preview and prediction of the games.

Orange Bowl, Florida State vs. Penn State: This is one of the reasons I hate the BCS. Florida State had a bad year by their standards, especially during a dismal November, but thanks to a lucky victory in the first ever ACC title game, they get to play in one of the four biggest bowls. Penn State, on the other hand, deserved to be in this game, after having a surprisingly great season and winning the Big Ten. FSU is way outmatched here, and the only chance they have is if 388 year old Bobby Bowden can outcoach 433 year old Joe Paterno.
SCORE: PSU 30 - FSU 20.

Sugar Bowl, West Virginia vs. Georgia: WVU posted a 10-1 record en route to winning the Big East, which these days is a lot like winning the WPIAL Class A championship. It's hard to gauge how good they are because of the pitiful competition they faced. Georgia went 10-2 in a very good SEC and boasts a very talented roster. I think Georgia will beat the Mountaineers easily, and thus damage the Big East's already battered reputation.
SCORE: Georgia 37 - WVU 17

Fiesta Bowl, The Ohio State vs. Notre Dame: Can life get any better? My favorite team against my second least-favorite! Thank God I don't have to work on Monday, because this one should be good. Notre Dame has stunned everyone by going 9-2 in Charlie Weis's first year as coach, but they barely won their last game against a ho-hum Walt Harris-led Stanford team. My Buckeyes ended the game on a very impressive six-game winning streak, including a thrilling victory over Michigan in the last game of the season. I've said all year that OSU is in the nation's top two or three in terms of talent, and it's a damn shame they choked against Penn State and Texas, otherwise we'd see A.J. Hawk kill Matt Leinart in Pasadena. The Bucks are finally showing this talent, and I don't think Charlie Weis and Notre Dame have the horses to keep up with them.
SCORE: OSU 34 - Notre Dame 24

Rose Bowl, USC vs. Texas: This should be one for the ages. Two teams of almost equal talent that have been punishing opponents meeting for all the marbles. It's hard to pick against USC, especially the way Reggie Bush has played this year, but I'm going to anyway. As good as Bush is, and as much as he does for that team, he doesn't play defense. Fresno State put up 42 on the Trojans, so imagine what Vince Young and the Longhorns, whose two lowest point totals this year have been 25 and 42. Texas destroyed Colorado 70-3 in the Big 12 championship, and they will ride that momentum to the national championship in an offensive orgy.
SCORE: Texas 49 - USC 45

Happy New Year. I'd tell you my resolution, but I'm not making any. I think I'm perfect, and I wouldn't keep it anyway. Til next we meet, send us an email, even if it's about how much of a jagoff I am.

Kamo Claus is comin' to town...

2005-12-23T13:06:00.000-05:00

I want to begin by saying Merry Christmas to all (or, more likely, any) IrishBuckeye readers. Kamo Claus is coming to town and here is what I hope to give...

Charlie Weis - A Rose Bowl victory with a top 3 recruiting class to cap off his fantastic first season at Notre Dame. What a wonderful man to lead this program back to the top.

Jim Tracy - A halfway decent 3rd baseman and an upgrade in the gaping hole in right field for the Buccos so that he can get us pointed in the right direction.

Bill Cowher - A playoff appearance and a run at finally getting, "One for the thumb."

Ben Roethlisberger - A tall wide receiver to take the place of Plaxico Burress (Never would have thought that to be true) and give him a legitimate deep threat.

Brett Favre - One more season with an entire healthy roster so that we can all see a living legend play for one... final... time.

Brady Quinn - A 400+ yard passing performance to springboard his Heisman Trophy campaign for 2006.

Mario Lemieux - A new arena for the Penguins and a big turnaround for a potential playoff run with young Sidney Crosby and Co.

LeBron James - A supporting cast that will eliminate the, "King James scored 50 and the Cavs lost... by 10" line on SportsCenter.

Zach Duke - A run at the Cy Young award and a chance to establish himself as the brightest star the Pirates have seen since a guy named Bonds roamed left field at Three Rivers.

New Orleans Saints - A return home in the latter part of the 2006 season and an overwhelming amount of support for them whenever they do.

Tulane Green Wave Athletics - A chance to find a new normal and to keep plugging away at the opportunity to put the athletic department back together.

Adam Morrison - More 40-point games and the National Player of the Year award to go along with a deep run into the NCAA Tournament. By the way- keep the mustache and Kamo Claus just might throw in a top-five pick next summer.

Rueben Droughns - Even though you are a Brownie, a Pro-Bowl selection and a trip to Hawaii.

David Carr - An offensive line who will give him a chance and a coach who will utilize his abundance of skills.

Chad Johnson - Some fresh ideas for endzone celebrations that will continue to make me laugh out loud.

Tony Dungy - The grace of God to be with you and your family to get you through your tragic loss on Thursday.

Kevin Pittsnogle - A "Best Name of the Year Award" and a first round selection in the NBA Draft next year.

Matt Leinart & Reggie Bush - Eternal bliss for all of the love you so openly show each other, both on the field and in the bedroom.

Johnny Damon - A soul because you undoubtedly showed that you indeed do not have one by signing with the Yankees. As a stocking stuffer, I give you a torn ACL in mid-April.

Bill Mueller - I give you a .200 batting average and an NL record in errors for snubbing my Pirates even though they gave you twice the money you were worth.

Tommy Maddox - An airplance ticket to Dallas and a plush corner office so he can go back to selling insurance and keep the Steelers from losing games.

Onterrio Smith - A new "whizzinator" to replace the one that the NFL took off of you.

Mark McGwire, Jose Canseco, Sammy Sosa, & Rafeal Palmeiro - Some clean needles for you to, uh, well, give the fans what they want and a "whizzinator" for each of you as well.

Jeff Samardzija - All-American status in baseball this spring for the Irish and then a return to form next fall for a run at the National Championship.

Ty Willingham - More losses next season and the season after that. In face, more losses for the rest of your career and a small unemployment check that will be your only means of income starting in 2008.

To all of my family, friends, and anyone else who scans across this, I give you happiness and good fortune for 2006 and I wish nothing but the things I wish for myself for each of you. Merry Christmas... and God Bless Us... God Bless Us Everyone.

"...And on earth peace, goodwill toward men."

2005-12-22T21:44:00.000-05:00

Ho! Ho! Ho! It's Christmas time in Hollis Queens once again, and time for that jolly fat man to come make us happy! No, I'm not talking about former Steeler OL Jamain Stephens; I'm talking about Santa Claus! The big guy and I went to Joe's a little while ago, and after downing a few beers and shots of Black Haus, he gave me a note, and on it were his messages and gifts for our friends in the world of sports. He loves this site so much, that he asked me to publish this list, so here goes:

Dave Wannstedt, I give you the realization that Pitt's offense will still not be ready for a power running scheme, and as such you should throw the hell out of the ball and score 50 points a game.

Greg Lee, I give you all the benefits that another year of college will bring you. Don't go pro yet. You are not ready.

Pitt basketball, I give you a non-conference schedule that's tougher than Saint Vincent's. Quit beating up on Coppin State and DeVry and play some real teams.

Mario Lemieux, I give you back your office as owner of the Penguins. You've beaten cancer, back problems, and countless other setbacks, but now I think it's time to hang up the skates.

Sidney Crosby, you get a spot in the rafters of the new Penguins arena. Your jersey will be next to Mario's in about 20 years.

Terrell Owens, I give you an early retirement, as no team should ever sign you. You're a creep, and your disappearance from civilization will make everyone happy. Oh, and take your dick of an agent with you.

Chad Johnson, I give you the gift of humility. You dance and yell and brag, but you play for a team that is going to the playoffs for the first time since 1990. Win something and then maybe you can get an ego.

Bud Selig, I give you a set. The players union dangles you like a marionette, and your cowardice is ruining baseball. But you don't care, because the Yankees and Red Sox are winning.

My friends at ESPN, I give you a map of our land that was made after 1720. Unbeknownst to you, our nation has expanded south and west of New York and Boston, and sports are played in these vast new lands.

Matt Millen, I'm not giving you anything, cause you'd just screw it up. You took one of the sorriest franchises in sports and made it even more pathetic.

America, I give you soccer. Your team will do well in the World Cup next year, and once you begin to appreciate how good soccer can really be, it will finally become big there.

Kevin McClatchy, Dave Littlefield, Jim Tracy, and Pirate fans everywhere, I give you a winning season. It's been way overdue, but I've been busy shutting those babies in Boston up.

Bill Cowher, I give you a win in a big game...eventually. I don't wanna say when and risk jinxing it.

Charlie Weis and Notre Dame, I give you all seat cushions. You're gonna need them after the Buckeyes kick your ass.

Texas, I give you the BCS championship in what will be one of the legendary games in the history of sports.

Ben Roethlisberger, I give you one full, injury-free season. We'd all love to see what you can do when you are healthy and at your best for 16 games.

Barry Bonds, like Matt Millen, will not be getting anything from me. It seems anyone that comes in contact with him ends up testifying before Congress.

Jerome Bettis, I give you a bust and 15 minute speech for Canton in 2011. Your plaque will say, "Greatest big back ever."

And to all you reading, I wish you a Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah/Happy Kwanzaa/Insert your holiday here. Be a good sport to one another, and send us an email at theirishbuckeye@hotmail.com . Peace.

The Greatest Moments in Pittsburgh Sports History

2005-12-17T17:07:00.000-05:00

After depressing the hell out of yinz last week with the worst moments in our area's long and storied history, I return with much happier material. Today I'm gonna discuss the best moments in Pittsburgh sports. Writing this is going to be infinitely harder than my previous masterpiece, because there are so many great things from which to choose. But I think my list is good, and if you don't...go to hell. Straight to hell.

Honorable Mentions: The 1997 Pitt-WVU classic (Pete Gonzalez earned a spot on an NFL roster for that magical fourth quarter). Pitt destroys Allen Iverson and #5 Georgetown 75-56 in 1996 (I was there, it was awesome). Honus Wagner outshines Ty Cobb, and the Pirates defeat the Tigers in the 1909 World Series (I wasn't there, but it would be great to see the two best all around players ever battling for a title). Mario Lemieux scoring five goals in five different ways (only time in NHL history). The Steelers welcoming back the Browns by beating them 43-0 in 1999. The Steelers comeback against the Browns in the 2002 playoffs. Four Super Bowl rings. The Fam-a-Lee 1979 Pirates. And the list goes on and on...

5. Jerome Lane shatters the backboard. Back in the late 80s, Pitt basketball was just sick. Unlike the current team, their non-conference schedule was loaded with good teams. They didn't play cupcakes like Vermont, Robert Morris, or Burrell. They played Kansas, Oklahoma, and Oklahoma State, all teams that made the Final Four in that period. Even better, Pitt beat them. Pitt was ranked as high as #2 back then, and it was thanks in large part to two players. The first was Charles Smith, who is still Pitt's all-time leading scorer and enjoyed a 10+ year NBA career. The other was Jerome Lane, who is still considered by many to be one of the best rebounders in college hoops history. But what really made him famous was his dunk on the night of January 25, 1987. Pitt was playing Providence at the Fitzgerald Field House, and Lane drove in for a dunk. ESPN announcer Bill Rafferty yelled "Send it in, Jerome!", as Lane threw down a one-handed slam that shattered the backboard. Since the game wasn't on TV around here, ESPN had to cut in to show what had happened, and my God was it a sight. The glass falling, the fans going nuts, it was a play for the ages, and one that is still shown quite often. Pitt won that game 90-56, and a piece of that backboard is sitting in a little case on a shelf in my attic.

4. Pro football is born in Latrobe. When you watch the Super Bowl this year, remember that it all started about an hour east of the Steel City, and thank those simple folks in Westmoreland County.

3. Francisco Cordova and Ricardo Rincon combine for a no-no. I had just gotten home from a basketball game on the night of July 13, 1997. I turned on ESPN, and they were showing bonus coverage of the Pirates-Astros game. I was confused as to why they would be showing this, but I soon found out that it was the 8th inning, and the Astros had yet to get a hit off starter Francisco Cordova. Unfortunately, the Pirates hadn't scored, which was a problem in getting this no-hitter accomplished. The 8th inning ended, and then the 9th, and Houston still didn't have a hit, and the Pirates didn't have a run. Ricardo Rincon relieved Cordova in the top of the 10th, walked one, struck out one, and didn't allow a hit. Then, in the bottom of the 10th, pinch hitter Mark Smith belted a three-run homer to clinch the win and the only combined extra-inning no-hitter in Major League history. It was really a magical night, for a few reasons. It was fireworks night, and a large crowd of 44,119 filled Three Rivers Stadium, not knowing the real fireworks were to start 3 hours early. Also, the Pirates were in first place, and this extended their lead over the Astros by a game. Sure, it was an aberration because the NL Central sucked, and the Pirates ended up finishing second, but it was a fun season, and the no-hitter was the best thing that's happened to that team in quite a long time.

2. The Immaculate Reception. WHA!? The Immaculate Reception isn't #1 on my list? No, but what tops it is quite an incredible moment, so be patient. It was December 23, 1972. The Steelers were hosting the Raiders in the first home playoff game in the franchise's miserable then-40 year history. Down 7-6 with less than 20 seconds to play, Terry Bradshaw took the snap, and scrambled right, then left. Then, he threw it to FB Frenchy Fuqua, who was drilled by Raider S (and Ohio State great) Jack Tatum. The ball ricocheted off one of them, be it Tatum legally, or Fuqua illegally. Rookie HB Franco Harris scooped the ball up on his shoelaces to the amazement of the not-sellout crowd at Three Rivers, and took it 40 yards for the winning touchdown. It was the most incredible play in football history, and by far the most controversial and disputed. But the most significant thing about this play is the empire it started. The Steelers lost the next week to the Dolphins, who would go on to win the Super Bowl and finish and undefeated season. Over the next seven seasons, the Steelers would win four titles, and establish themselves as perhaps the greatest team in NFL history. You've heard all the stories about this play, about how Myron Cope and Art Rooney didn't see it, about who the refs supposedly really called, and everything else, but I don't think anything could compare to actually being there and witnessing such an awesome moment.

1. Maz's homer in the 1960 World Series. As great as the Immaculate Reception was, this is the stuff of dreams. Bottom of the 9th in game seven of the World Series; what kid hasn't imagined this situation in his backyard? Bill Mazeroski got to live it. Leading off the bottom of the 9th of a 9-9 game, Maz, a super 2B not known for his offense, hit Ralph Terry's 1-0 pitch over the left field wall at Forbes Field to win the game and the title for the Buccos. The homer ended a wild Series in which the three Yankee wins were blowouts and the first three Pirate wins were close, low scoring affairs. This may have been the most beloved Pirate team ever, and their victory whipped the town into a frenzy. It must have been nice to have had a baseball team worth caring about after September ended. We don't have that anymore, but can brag that the greatest home run ever was hit in Pittsburgh by a Pirate.

And so ends another remarkable piece of literature by me. Come back later this week when I give out my holiday wishes to various sports figures. Until then...EMAIL. Bye.

Ho Ho Ho Buccos Fans

2005-12-13T13:56:00.000-05:00

It is the middle of December, the Steelers are in the midst of a playoff push, and the college football bowl season is upon us but the team that keeps stealing all the Steel City headlines doesn't play their first game until April. The Pittsburgh Pirates, with Dave Littlefield in particular, have been wheelin' and dealin' at Major League Baseball's Winter Meetings and in the process have made themselves a better team. From signing Jim Tracy as manager to trading for Sean Casey, the Buccos have been busy. In case you have been living in a cave for past week or so, here is a recap and analysis of all that has happened:

- The biggest move came in the form of the The Mayor returning to his native Pittsburgh as Sean Casey was acquired from the Reds for southpaw starter Dave Williams. This move was outstanding because the Pirates were able to fill a big need in a veteran 1st Baseman while giving up only their 5th starter, one who was probably on the way out of the rotation this season with the emergence of some of the Pirates' younger arms. Williams was consistent if nothing else, however, getting a player with Casey's talent and leadership can never be considered a bad move. Grade: A.

- Littlefield wasted little time in trading away southpaw starter #2 as Mark Redman was shipped to the Royals for pitchers Jonah Bayliss and Chad Blackwell. Redman probably began last season as the best pitcher on the Pirate staff, however a lack of run support in the last few months dropped his season record to a career worst 5-15. His record was really not a reflection of how well he pitched because Redman could be arguably seen as the Pirates most consistent pitcher night in and night out. The only reason I like this trade is because Bayliss throws strikes and could be a capable set-up man for whomever the closer turns out to be- something Buccos sorely lacked last season. Losing Redman might hurt a little bit unless Littlefield is able to get another starter in return for, say, Kip Wells or Josh Fogg. Blackwell was the dreaded "player to be named later" in the deal and will probably be sent to AA Altoona to start the season. Grade: C+.

- In the third major deal for the Pirates, lefthanded reliever Damaso Marte was acquired from the World Champion Chicago White Sox for long time utility man Rob Mackowiak. First off, this deal is a win-win for a guy like Mackowiak because he will finally get to play for a winner. Add that to the fact that he grew up idolizing the White Sox and you have a match made in heaven. I always liked Mackowiak and thought he got a raw deal from Lloyd McClendon for his lack of major playing time. It seemed like he was never the bride, but always the bridesmaid so hopefully he will get a chance to start and finally win some games. On the Pirates' side of things, Marte is a nightmare for lefty hitters and he throws hard. This deal made it possible for the Littlefield to shop any one one of their three young lefties (Marte, Mike Gonzalez, and John Grabow) for some offensive firepower. Look for one of those three to be dealt- possibly to an American League team for an outfielder- before the season begins. Grade: B.

- The Pirates also made some other moves, the most interesting of which was giving Ty Wiggington his walking papers. Wiggington came to Pittsburgh from the Mets in the Kris Benson deal but he never lived up to the billing of being the Pirates long-term solution for their gaping hole at 3rd Base. He struggled mightily for a season and a half and the only thing I think about this move is that it took too long. The same goes for trading Tike Redman for cash, trading Bobby Hill for a PTBNL, and releasing Rick White. These moves cut some dead weight and opens up roster spots for some youngsters who have the potential to produce- something those three never really did. In addition to those moves, the Pirates also signed veteran righty Roberto Hernandez to give them some right-handed help in their bullpen- yet another thing that sorely lacked last season. Joe Roa was also signed to a minor league contract and he will hopefully return to his past form and become a contributor to the Pirate 'pen. Grade: B+.

So what does it all mean for the Pirates? Well, for now it means that Littlefield and Co. are somewhat committed to making this team better. I would hope that they are far from being finished and that some more bats are going to be brought in because no matter how much pitching you have, if you can't score you can't win. As of this second, if I were Jim Tracy, the Buccos lineup and rotation would look something like this:

CF: Chris Duffy
LF: Jason Bay
RF: Craig Wilson
1B: Sean Casey
2B: Jose Castillo
SS: Jack Wilson
3B: Freddy Sanchez
C: Ryan Doumit

#1 SP: Zach Duke
#2 SP: Oliver Perez
#3 SP: Kip Wells
#4 SP: Josh Fogg
#5 SP: Sean Burnett, Bryan Bullington, Paul Maholm

Let's start with the lineup because honestly, Craig Wilson isn't going to be in right and Freddy Sanchez isn't going to be at third. In my humble opinion Wilson belongs in the American League because he doesn't field well and he strikes out too much to be a position player. He has DH written all over him and he could definitely be dangled as trade bait to bring in a power hitting RF or 3rd baseman. I think that Sanchez could be a player but needs some time to mature at the Major League level and he will provide some depth to a thin bench. With that said, it appears that at least five of the 8 position players seem the be set in stone with Casey, Castillo, Bay, Duffy, and Doumit all being solid at their respective positions. The wild card here is Jack Wilson because he needs to return to his form of 2004 for the Pirates to have a chance. Wilson is the tablesetter for guys like Casey, Bay, and Castillo and he has the ability to hit .340 or better- something he must do or else he might be on his way out next season.

The starting rotation seems to be pretty solid because Duke, Perez, and Burnett all have star potential. Fogg can eat some innings for them and if he can pitch at .500 or better throughout the season he could be a dynamite #4 starter. To me, the bottom line with the staff is that Kip Wells needs to go because he is inconsistent and there are nights whenever he just fails to throw strikes- an ill that a major leaguer should have cured long ago. As if that weren't enough, guys like Paul Maholm and Brian Bullington are waiting in the wings and could easily take a spot in the rotation with a strong spring. All these signs lead to Wells being shipped out but this is not a foregone conclusion because of the simple fact that he may not bring back much in return. To trade a guy like Kip Wells you would at least have to get back someone with some potential, which may not be possible. What Littlefield must understand is that they do have enough pitching, both starters and relievers, and that this overabundance is his biggest bargaining chip. Where they are lacking is obviously at third and right field and so here is what this guy would like to see happen:

The two most expendable players the Pirates have are Wells and Craig Wilson and so they have to find a team that needs a decent starter and a decent hitter while also being able to get what they need in return. While a 2-for-1 deal would seemingly bring the most in return, it may not be the best option. There is an offer on the table for free agent Bill Mueller, one in which some are saying he will sign as soon as this week, and even if he does sign, there is still a pressing need in right field because as I said earler, Wilson is a terrible fielder who strikes out a lot. So, what they have is Kip Wells, Craig Wilson, and probably John Grabow to offer to any number of teams. Looking around the league, the name that kept popping up is Milton Bradley, but he was traded to Oakland this evening so that option is out. Who I would trade for would be Aubrey Huff of the Devil Rays because he is versatile (he can play RF and 1st), young (age 29), and is a power-hitting lefty who could take aim at the short left porch at PNC Park. What you could give up would be a combination of either Craig Wilson and Kip Wells or Craig Wilson and John Grabow. If you give up Wells, Maholm goes into the starting rotation and then you use Grabow to add depth to the bench, say in the form of Bobby Kielty from Oakland. The ideal situation is to deal Wilson and Wells because by keeping Grabow you have three young lefties who throw in the upper 90's and you could use one of them in a mid-season trade. So, after all this, the lineup and rotation looks like this:

CF: Chris Duffy
LF: Jason Bay
RF: Aubrey Huff
1B: Sean Casey
2B: Jose Castillo
SS: Jack Wilson
3B: Bill Mueller
C: Ryan Doumit

#1 SP: Zach Duke
#2 SP: Oliver Perez
#3 SP: Josh Fogg
#4 SP: Sean Burnett
#5 SP: Paul Maholm

Not a bad lineup considering every starter, with the exception of Doumit and Duffy, has hit double digits in homers at least once in their career. Doumit and Duffy who were both rookies who played 115 games combined last season and both showed tremendous promise. The issue is depth which is where they probably need to part ways with one of their young relievers and possibly Fogg as well. The rotation is pretty young but has some proven winners with Duke, Perez, and Burnett all pitching well in previous situations. Maholm went 3-1 in six starts last season while Fogg usually gets to 10 wins- which is something the Pirates will need if they expect to contend. If the "Fab Four" of Duke, Perez, Burnett, and Maholm pitch to their potential and Fogg turns in a decent season, you could have one of the better starting pitching staffs in the National League. This team is reminiscent of the 2003 Marlins: Great young pitching, good speed and defense, and just enough hitters. There are a lot of ifs, but for it being December and talking about Pirates baseball it is better than a lot of, "we suck."

The Worst Moments in Pittsburgh Sports History

2005-12-10T17:49:00.000-05:00

Contrary to popular opinion around here, a Steeler loss is not the end of the world. The sun does come up on Monday, locusts and fire do not rain from the sky, and our first-born will survive the week. There have been some rather crappy moments these past couple of months, but in the grand scheme of things, they aren't really that bad. This town has had some truly great moments in sports. Indeed, some of the greatest plays and games ever have either taken place here or involved one of our teams. However, I'm saving those for my next article. Today, I'm going to write about the darker moments, and there have been quite a few. But, since it is the holiday season, I'll mention the positives that came out of each of these moments.

Honorable Mentions: The 1980 Pitt team (4 College Football Hall of Famers, 29 draft picks, Dan Marino, Hugh Green) losing to Florida State, thus falling out of the national title race and finishing #2 (although they are still regarded as one of the best teams ever, and arguably the most talented team in Pitt history). The Penguins losing to the Islanders in game 7 of the 2nd round of the 1993 playoffs (best team in Pens history, should have won 3rd straight Cup and been regarded as the best team ever...oops). The 76 Steelers losing both Rocky Bleier and Franco Harris in the first playoff game and missing the chance to win a 3rd straight Super Bowl (that was the best defense in NFL history. 28 points in 9 games? Incredible). The Steelers losing at home to the expansion Browns in 1999 (Cleveland won two games that year).

5. 51-0. The Steelers opened the 1989 season at home against their bitter rivals, so the pressure was on to make a good first impression. What ensued was the most lopsided loss in team history. The Browns scored three defensive touchdowns and forced eight (eight!) turnovers. The Steelers set new lows in total yards (53) and first downs (5), and were subject to ridicule by the media, both local and national, for the entire week. Things were made even worse the following Sunday when defending AFC champion Cincinnati waxed the Black and Gold 41-10.
Bright spot: The Steelers did manage to turn the season around after that dreadful start and finish 9-7. They clinched the wild card berth and faced division rival Houston in the first round. Gary Anderson kicked a 50-yard field goal in overtime, and the Steelers won 26-23 (I remember this night fondly. It was New Year's Eve, I was sick, and my mother bought me a little Christmas tree. Why do I remember this stuff?). The next week they lost a heartbreaker to eventual AFC champ Denver, 24-23. This was probably a good thing, as the Broncos went on to get pounded by San Francisco 55-10 in the biggest blowout in Super Bowl history.

4. The Pittsburgh Drug Trial. In this era of lousy baseball, it's always good to think about the times when Pittsburgh was actually the focal point of the sport. This wasn't one of those times. A cocaine scandal exploded in baseball in 1985, and it all went back to the Steel City. This wasn't just a one or two player deal. No one was safe. Two MVPs-Dave Parker and Keith Hernandez-admitted to abusing cocaine, as were several other players. No player, past or present, seemed to be safe, as legends Willie Stargell and Willie Mays were called to testify about amphetamine distribution. Hell, even the Pirate Parrot was indicted for referring players to his drug dealer! This trial and the subsequent suspensions left a huge black eye on Pittsburgh and baseball, similar to what steroids are doing to the game today.
Bright spot: The trials showed that nobody is perfect, even the athletes we idolize. Other than that, nothing good seemed to have come of it. Baseball still has a drug problem, but now it's a different drug, and in fact it is hurting the game more than coke did.

3. The 1994 AFC Championship. The '89 game against the Browns may have been the Steelers most embarassing loss, but the loss to the Chargers in the '94 title game may be the most painful. The day started off beautifully. It was warm, sunny, and the Steelers, at 12-4 the #1 seed in the AFC and coming off a 28-9 thumping over Cleveland in the first round, were favored by 9 1/2 points. The Chargers, despite an 11-5 record and AFC West title, were given no chance, especially after their win over Miami the previous week was considered an upset. The Steelers had made a Super Bowl rap video during the week, and in the first half it seemed like it was going to be needed, as they outgained the Chargers 229-46 and led 10-0 at the half. Then, the weather turned cold, the skies turned gray, the rain fell, and so did the Steelers. The Chargers came back, and were down 13-10 when the most horrific play I had ever witnessed in person occurred. Charger receiver Tony Martin torched Steeler CB Tim McKyer and scored what proved to be the winning touchdown. The Steelers had one last drive, but Dennis Gibson batted down a Neil O'Donnell pass to Barry Foster in the endzone to clinch the game. If you think the mood after a Steeler loss is bad now, you should have been outside Three Rivers Stadium after this game. Nobody in the record crowd spoke as they left the stadium; they just stared straight ahead in a state of shock as the rain further dampened their dreams. I got sick from the two mile walk to the car and from being underdressed (fooled by the weather). It still hurts to think about that game, and writing this is not easy.
Bright spot: The Steelers once again avoided a thrashing at the hands of the 49ers, who racked up 49 points on San Diego en route to their fifth Super Bowl title. In 1995 the Steelers managed to win the AFC title in a classic game against the Colts where they once again were heavy favorites and once again nearly blew it. However, Neil O'Donnell threw two hideous interceptions to Larry "One Good Game = Undeserved $" Brown, and the Steelers lost 27-17. The worst part about Super Bowl XXX was that in the second half the Steelers dominated Dallas, and should have won.

2. Roberto Clemente Dies in a Plane Crash. Clemente played for 18 stellar seasons, racking up four batting titles, two World Series rings, and an MVP. In 1972, he finally got his 3000th hit, a double in a late-September game at Three Rivers. At the time, nobody could have imagined that would be his last hit. An earthquake hit Nicaragua in December of that year, and on New Year's Eve he boarded a supply plane in Puerto Rico to go down and help the victims. The plane was overloaded, and crashed into the Caribbean shortly after takeoff. The greatest Puerto Rican baseball player, and one of the greatest Pirates ever, was dead at 38. His body was never found. That may have been a good thing, since everyone thought of Clemente as a man who was always in motion, be it hitting doubles, stealing bases, or making superhuman throws to third to get a runner out. Pittsburgh and Puerto Rico were devastated, and replacing him in 1973 was a painful ordeal.
Bright spot: Not much good can come out of such a tragic death, but Clemente's legacy, both on and off the field, lived on. He was inducted to the Hall of Fame in 1973, and Major League Baseball named their sportsmanship and community service award after him. In Pittsburgh, a statue was erected in 1994 and is now outside PNC Park, where the right field wall is 21 feet high in honor of his jersey number. In Puerto Rico there are several sporting venues and other memorials named in his honor. Clemente's name will live forever, in Pittsburgh, in his homeland, and indeed in all of sports.

1. Francisco Cabrera. For Pittsburghers of this generation, this is our JFK assassination. We all know where we were the evening of October 14, 1992, when the Atlanta Braves defeated the Pirates in game 7 of the National League Championship Series. True, Atlanta was probably the better team, and they had beaten the Pirates in seven games they previous year, but this was different. This was to be the last chance for the Buccos, who were losing money and couldn't afford to keep any of their top players beyond this season. A rebuilding would have to take place, and it was anyone's guess how long it would take (and it still is!). So this night was their last chance at a championship, and for eight innings the Pirates played like it. They had a 2-0 lead after eight, thanks in large part to superb pitching by ace Doug Drabek. Then in the 9th, everything fell apart. Jose Lind, the best fielding second baseman in baseball, committed an uncharacteristic error. Atlanta then scored a run, and reliable closer Stan Belinda was brought in. With two outs, a 2-1 lead, David Justice on third, and Sid "Three Bad Knees" Bream on second, seldom-used pinch hitter Francisco Cabrera came to the plate. He had like two hits that year, and wasn't exactly known as a slugger. CF Andy Van Slyke knew this, and told LF and 1990 and 1992 NL MVP Barry Bonds to play up a little bit. Bonds ignored him, staying fairly deep in left. Sure enough, Cabrera hit a blooper to shallow left, and Bonds had to charge the ball. Justice scored to tie it, and Bream rounded third, running so slow you had to measure his time with a sundial. Bonds, again from shallow left, made a two hop throw that went a little left of the plate. Catcher Mike LaValliere caught it and had to stretch to make the tag on Bream. He was a millionth of a second too late, and Bream was called safe. The fans at Fulton County Stadium went nuts, the players went nuts, and in what may be the most enduring image for Pirate fans, Andy Van Slyke just sat down in center and watched it all, with a look on his face similar to one you have when you just got shot in the stomach. CBS had a camera in the Clark Bar just outside Three Rivers, and going into the 9th the customers were jubilant over what was about to happen. Now it was like a funeral in there. The next day was even worse, as people went to work and school and joined others in the misery. We all realized it was going to be over, and we had come to terms with that, but we never realized that the ending would be so painful.
Bright spot: The Braves have now made the postseason fourteen straight years, and the Pirates are still rebuilding. After that game Bonds went to San Francisco and has since put up huge numbers and taken a lot of steroids. Drabek went to Houston, Lind to Kansas City, and vastly inferoir players replaced them. The economics of baseball have gotten way out of hand, in large part to some of the players that left the near-dynasty in Pittsburgh in the 90s, and the Pirates are one of the biggest victims. They have not had a winning season since 1992, and in most of these past 13 seasons they haven't come close. I guess there really is no bright spot to this moment. It was a heartbreaking loss, and the effects of it are still being felt today. For that reason, this is the worst moment in Pittsburgh sports history.

Tune in next week, when I discuss the five greatest moments in our history. Until then, send us an email. Shit, sign us up for a porno email list. We'll take anything in our inbox at this point. Have a good week, and take the Buckeyes with the points.

Notre Dame vs. Ohio State: Tradition vs. Tarnish?

2005-12-07T15:55:00.000-05:00

The BCS lineup was recently announced and much to my delight, Notre Dame will be playing Ohio State on January 2nd in the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl. Why am I delighted to be seeing my team going up against a tough Ohio State team? Well, besides the fact that it will provide the Irish with a prominent opponent and the opportunity to shut a lot of people up, it gives me an opportunity to reflect on why I root for Notre Dame and no one else.

It is true that Notre Dame has not had an abundance of on-field success in recent years. As a matter of fact, take away the Dome and the lore of Notre Dame and what you have is a team like, say, Clemson: They have won some big games, but have lost more than they should have and really haven't played to their potential. While I am the first to admit that Davieham was the most terrifying 8 years of my life and this year seems different, the appeal of rooting for the Irish never wavers. Why? Because of their commitment to being a class act off the field. Now, in recent days and months, some people (more notably, some Ohio State fans) have claimed Notre Dame to be an inferior college football factory. They claim Notre Dame is a school and a team whose glory left them years ago. Maybe they are right... or maybe they are simply still huffing the fumes from the 2002 National Championship game. You see, Notre Dame's record as of late has not been great but lets not forget one thing: this is college football. These kids are student-athletes who are supposed to uphold the values of their respective institution no matter what the circumstance. With that said, lets look at the "incidents" and arrests since the hiring of Jim Tressel.

Jan 18, 2001 is when St. Tressel was hired. In that same time frame, the following OSU players have been arrested:
• December 21, 2004: Albert Dukes, a freshman WR was arrested 12/21 in Palm Beach County, FL for felonious lewd and lascivious battery involving a 13 year old girl.
• October 23, 2004: Lydell Ross is arrested at Pure Platinum gentlemen's club on Bethel Road in Columbus for attempting to pass fake money to a 24-year-old woman at the club. Ross was suspended for two games and the charges were later dropped.
• June 7, 2004: Ohio State University police arrested tight end Louis Irizarry and charged him with Criminal Trespassing at Neil and Tuttle Park Place.
• May 17, 2004: Freshman Punter A.J. Traspasso is arrested again for underaged drinking. This time, it was by Perkins Township police near Sandusky, Oh.
• May 5, 2004: Freshman Punter A.J. Traspasso is charged with underage drinking. The all-state punter was cited after the Spring Game along East 15th Avenue near campus, authorities said.
• May 1, 2004: Sophomore backups Louis Irizarry and Ira Guilford are arrested and charged with robbery after a student is assaulted and his wallet is stolen at 3 a.m. They are held in Franklin County jail through the weekend. Both plead innocent to the robbery charge, with Guilford released after paying a $25,000 bond. Irizarry is held pending a hearing to determine if he had violated his probation from an earlier assault conviction.
• April 29, 2004: Ohio State fullback Branden Joe was cited for an alleged misdemeanor open container violation, according to Columbus police.
• Nov. 16, 2003: At 3 a.m. after a win over Purdue and six days before the Michigan game, wide receiver Santonio Holmes and quarterback Troy Smith are charged with misdemeanor disorderly conduct after a fight in a parking lot on campus. A window in a car is kicked out and one woman reported her jaw was broken. Holmes is held out of the starting lineup at Michigan but returns to play most of the game. Holmes also started in the Buckeyes' Fiesta Bowl game. He pleads innocent to the disorderly conduct after the team returns to Columbus. The disorderly conduct charge is dismissed against Holmes on March 30, 2004. Smith is found guilty of the charge.
• Oct. 27, 2003: Louis Irizarry is charged with three counts of first-degree misdemeanor assault after three people sustain minor injuries during a fight in a Park Hall dorm room. Irizarry is suspended two days later. He is found guilty of one charge each of assault, negligent assault and disorderly conduct and pays $404 court costs and is put on probation. He is later reinstated to the team and is listed as the second-team tight end on the 2004 spring depth chart before he is suspended indefinitely after the May 1, 2004, arrest.
• June 2003: Sophomore tight end Redgie Arden of Ohio State pleaded innocent Monday to his second drunken driving charge in 15 months. Arden, 21, was arrested at 5:54 a.m. Sunday on a charge of operating a motor vehicle under the influence, the Ironton Police Department said. In March 2002, Arden pleaded guilty to a drunken driving charge in Ironton. He was sentenced to three days in jail and fined.
• April 2003: Running back Maurice Clarett reports that a car he has borrowed from a local used-car dealer was broken into and thousands of dollars in cash, CDs, stereo equipment and clothing was stolen. The car was in the parking lot at the Woody Hayes Athletic Center and Clarett calls police from a telephone in Tressel's office. Clarett was later charged with lying to police about the value of the stolen items and is charged with misdemeanor falsification of the police report on the theft. Clarett pleads guilty on Jan. 14, 2004, to the reduced charge of failure to aid a law enforcement officer. He is ordered to pay the maximum fine of $100 and serves no jail time.
• Oct. 13, 2002: Linebacker Fred Pagac Jr. is charged with persistent disorderly conduct. Pagac was arrested at 3:45 a.m. after police said he was intoxicated and had a role in a fight involving two women outside a campus-area bar about 12 hours after the Buckeyes' homecoming victory over San Jose State. The police report said an officer told Pagac to stop but he continued to fight. Pagac was suspended for the team's next game at Wisconsin. Pagac pleaded innocent. In December, before the team's national championship game against Miami in the Fiesta Bowl, Pagac was acquitted in a jury trial.
• Aug. 17, 2002: Defensive lineman Quinn Pitcock is charged with underage drinking in his hometown of Piqua. He is suspended from the team for the three weeks of preseason workouts, then
• July 29, 2002: Wide receiver Angelo Chattams is investigated for the alleged theft of a set of golf clubs from a sport utility vehicle in West Carrollton. Prosecutors approve but do not file a theft charge, permitting Chattams to enroll in a program for nonviolent, first-time offenders and avoid a charge. He was excused from the team to deal with the legal matter, then reinstated and played in the season-opener. He does not play again for the Buckeyes.
• July 26, 2002: Police find Branden Joe, a sophomore fullback, asleep in a car on a highway ramp near campus. The police report says he refused to take a Breathalyzer test. He was suspended for the three weeks of preseason camp and the team's season opener against Texas Tech, then returns to the team although his playing time is limited by injuries.
• April 27, 2002: Linebacker Marco Cooper is arrested hours after the Buckeyes' annual intrasquad scrimmage and charged with felony drug abuse and carrying a concealed weapon in his sports-utility vehicle. Cooper pleads guilty to two charges in November and is put on probation.
• March 2, 2002: Tight end Redgie Arden is arrested on a charge of drunken driving in his hometown of Ironton. The redshirt freshman is found guilty and is sentenced to three days in jail and fined. Suspended indefinitely from the team, he does not participate in summer workouts before the 2002 season but is reinstated before the start of the 2002 season and played in 11 games.
• Nov. 15, 2001: Quarterback Steve Bellisari is arrested two days before the Illinois game for drunken driving. Tressel suspends the Buckeyes' three-year starter indefinitely and then reinstates him to the team three days later. A senior, he practiced with the team for the Michigan game but did not play, then came off the bench to play most of the team's Outback Bowl loss to South Carolina. He later served a weekend in jail.
• March 21, 2001: Cornerback Derek Ross is arrested on charges of driving without a license and providing false information to police, giving an incorrect name when pulled over for speeding. He was sentenced to 30 days in jail. He is suspended from Ohio State's 2001 spring practices, then played most of the 2001 season, leading the Big Ten in interceptions and earning second-team all-conference honors. Left team to make himself available for the NFL draft a year early.

Note that the above list does NOT include the other “incidents” that have happened while on Tressel’s watch:
- May, 2003: Chris Gamble and 9 other players are ruled ineligible by the university for signing autographs at a health care group's convention. The players were paid an hourly salary for working at a booth operated by a central Ohio health care company at the Ohio Health Care Association's convention May 5-8 in Columbus.
- October 11, 2003: Robert Reynolds chokes Wisconsin QB, Jim Sorgi, knocking him out of the Badgers' 17-10 win over the Buckeyes.
- Fall 2003: NCAA investigates Ohio State players for possible academic ineligibility. Maurice Clarett is the focus of the investigation. Chris Gamble’s name was mentioned a few times at the beginning, but either nothing was found against him or the entire investigation was turned against Maurice when a teacher admitted that Clarett got preferential treatment. She was then was later fired by the university. Clarett was guilty of 14 violations of the ethical-conduct bylaw and two violations of receiving preferential treatment or benefits because he is an athlete. Clarett was suspended for the entire 2003 season.
- Fall 2004: Maurice Clarett blows the whistle on tOSU.
- December 20, 2004: Troy Smith is suspended from playing in the Alamo Bowl for "violating team and NCAA rules and standards."

Quite an impressive list- drunk driving, beating up women, assualt, forgery, filing a false police report, carrying a concealed weapon, and cheating in the classroom. Oh, and before all you jump up and cry foul, lets now recap how Notre Dame handled a student-athlete who was pulled over for DUI. Rashon Powers-Neal was suspended from the team way back in October for what was termed at the time as, "a violation of team rules." Powers-Neal is still currently under suspension from the program and has not seen action in a game in over 2 months. If he were at Ohio State, Powers-Neal would start against Michigan and nothing would be said. I mean, forget the fact that these guys are beating people (and women, cowards) up and trying to tip strippers with monopoly money, they can't even pass their classes without the help of professors and teachers alike. Of course, how can you blame them? Consistently getting owned (save for '02) by the better half of the Big Ten does that to a man. Or, in Ohio State's case- a boy.

That 70s Team

2005-12-06T21:10:00.000-05:00

"The Steelers are not built for 3rd and 11." - John Madden, during the Steelers' 26-7 loss to the Colts.

You know what the best thing about Michael Jordan was? It wasn't the dunks, or the title-clinching shots, or the Nikes. It was the way he showed how good the other teams, specifically the coaches, really were. If you were an opposing team's coach, the first thing you had to factor in when making a game plan against the Bulls was the fact that Jordan was going to score 35 points. There's no getting around it; unless you shoot him in the leg, he was gonna score...a lot (and even if you did shoot him he'd probably be good for 15-20). If your team was built around low-scoring offense and a stifling defense, you needed to change your way of playing. The key to beating Chicago was not stopping Jordan and keeping the team from scoring 100; it was conceding that much and finding a way to score 101.

The 2005 Indianapolis Colts are a lot like Jordan and the Bulls of the 90s. With a couple exceptions, their offense has been beyond unstoppable. No team has defeated them, and the few that have come close have had to put up a bunch of points. The Steelers played them two Mondays ago, and their game plan was the same one they always had: run the ball, kill the clock, keep them off the field so they can't score as much. Well, that plan was quickly shown to be worthless, as the Peyton Manning threw an 80-yard TD pass to Marvin Harrison on the Colts' first play from scrimmage. Time of possession: about ten seconds. So much for minimizing the amount of time they had to score. The Colts minimized the amount of time they needed to score.

It's not fair to blame it all on the offensive game plan. The o-line was makeshift and got owned, Willie Parker has been struggling, the special teams coverage has been awful, and the defense isn't as good as it was last year (although they did a pretty good job against Indy, score notwithstanding). But in recent years this run-heavy offense, and Cowher's refusal to stray from it, has hurt the Steelers in big games. Sure, in 2003 they tried to be more pass-oriented, but there were many other problems with that. Maddox had no mobility and couldn't make plays (he still had the second highest single-season yardage total in team history), the defense was porous, and there was virtually no running game to complement the pass (Amos Zereoue, anyone?). Now, the personnel on offense is more talented, and although they aren't the Colts, there is some talent there to make a move towards a more high-octane squad.

So why doesn't Cowher do it?

We may (hopefully) have seen the seeds of this planted this past Sunday against the Bengals. Once again our boys played a high-scoring offense, and once again they lost, but this time it was a lot closer, thanks to the Steelers scoring 31 points. Ben Roethlisberger threw for over 380 yards on 41 attempts, both career highs by a lot. Did I mention he has a bad knee and a right thumb that is so injured it hurts him to hand the ball off? Imagine what he could do when he's completely healthy and has more than just one deep threat at his disposal.

I'm not saying that the Steelers should be a pass-only offense, but the days of smashmouth football are gone. The recent Super Bowl champs, with the exception of Baltimore in 2000, have been capable of putting up big numbers on a consistent basis, not as flukes. Hell, look at college football. This past weekend, USC scored 66 points on a then one-loss team, and Texas scored 70 in the Big 12 championship against a team that mathematically was the second best in the conference. The fact that these two teams score at will and are now going to play for the national title makes Wannstedt's decision to have Pitt go to the power running game (especially with the QB and WRs they have coming back...argh) all the more baffling.

This is no longer the 1970s, where all you needed to win was a strong running back and a defense that would literally blast the offensive players in the mouth. The rules have changed, the players have changed, and now the emphasis is on scoring points. Roughing the passer, horse collar tackles, and many other penalties are in place to give the offense the best chance to make big plays. Cowher needs to adapt to these changes and assemble and offense that can and will score 30 a game, not just have a defense that can hold a mediocre team under that. He has a big, mobile quarterback that can throw the ball deep and create plays on his own if need be. He has a good running back corps (well, on the few occasions they're healthy) that would further benefit from a passing game that would keep the defense honest. All he needs is a healthy offensive line that plays up to their potential (and when they are unmatched in the NFL), and a big play receiver. Hines Ward has dependable hands, but he lacks the size and speed needed to make big gains regularly. Cedric Wilson...no. Randle El is too small, and he tends to try to do too much. Quincy Morgan is an interesting player. He has decent size, good speed, but we haven't seen enough of him here to know if he could be a good #2 for us. If he isn't the one, then the Steelers need to go out and sign a WR. There are going to be plenty of free agents, and drafting a receiver is too risky for a team this close to contending for a Super Bowl (cough cough Fred Gibson cough).

There's really no reason the Steelers should not do this. It seems to be the only way to compete and succeed in the NFL today. The only thing that may keep this from happening is Cowher and his ego. He holds firm to his "run the first two downs, then hope they can convert with a six yard out pattern" system and rarely changes it, even in the middle of a game when it is obvious it's not working. Cowher has taken a lot of criticism lately, and some of it is merited. He doesn't seem to be the same fiery guy that came here in 1992. He doesn't seem to get too pissed when his players...oh, I don't know, give up a 94 yard kickoff return in a close game. The reason for this? His wife told him he looked silly screaming and swearing at players on TV. First of all, he's a football coach, not a sitcom actor, and he shouldn't care what he looks like on TV as long as he's getting the job done. Second, why the hell is he letting his wife tell him how to act on the sidelines? I'm worried that Cowher has grown complacent with his job here, and I fear a change may need to be made down the line.

Finally, what really bothers me about this whole thing is when people say, "But that's not Steeler football", or "This is Pittsburgh, we don't do flashy stuff like that." That's a bunch of crap. News flash, folks: Franco Harris, Jack Lambert, and Mel Blount are gone, as are almost all the blue collar steel mills. You can't score 20 points and expect to beat a good team anymore. Hell, the Steelers' last two Super Bowl wins were high-scoring affairs. We're a younger city, and we don't appreciate tough, grind-it-out games. Look at the Penguins. Of the top 25 scorers in NHL history, five of them played for the Pens during their two Stanley Cup seasons. Of all the men that have played pro hockey, 20% of the greatest offensive players were on one team at one time. Were people here pissed when the Pens won their first Cup with an 8-0 whooping over the North Stars? Were they pissed the year after they won their second one when they ended the season with 17 straight wins and made things look easy? Pro sports have evolved into high-scoring, high-flying, high-profit entertainment, and it's about time the Steelers joined the party.

Just...Great

2005-11-28T21:00:00.000-05:00

Depending on how you look at it, it's either a great time to be a sports fan, or a lousy time. In three of the four major sports, free agency has created parity, where a team can be horrible one year, but a champion the next. It happens every year in football, where some team goes 6-10 and all of a sudden makes the Super Bowl the following year. Basketball's most recent collective bargaining agreement has set up similar opportunities, as evidenced by the Clippers' (the Clippers!?) surprisingly great start. The NHL, after cancelling the entire 2004-05 season because of a labor dispute, is now all of a sudden the most equal league in sports. Thanks to increased revenue sharing and a salary cap that is friendly to all teams, franchises that were on the brink of bankruptcy and extinction a couple years ago are now able to get in the Stanley Cup race with relative ease. Only baseball, with its incompetent commissioner, select few wealthy and influential owners, and a players association that may be the most powerful union in the country, does not have a system in place that provides an equal chance for teams to compete regardless of their financial health.

Some may say that this is great, that teams are never more than a year or two away from being competitive. But they must remember that their favorite teams are also only a year or two away from stinking. My concern is not with the competitiveness of teams, but rather the elimination of dynasties. The 70s Steelers, the 80s 49ers, the Celtics of the 60s, the Canadiens of...well every decade up to the 80s; those were what defined pro sports. Whether you loved those teams or prayed for their planes to crash, you respected them, and watched in awe as the same players came back every year and crushed anyone that challenged them. Recently the closest things we have had were the Lakers, winners of three straight NBA titles before turmoil ruined them, and the Patriots, who after winning three of the past four Super Bowls are a shell of what they were just last year.

When I pine back to these days of consistency and awesomeness, I also remember the teams that should have been dynasties, but never quite made it. Teams that won a championship or two, and should have won more, but didn't. Teams like:

The Chicago Bears: Everyone talks about how great the '85 Bears were, but you don't ever hear about how they choked the next two years. How could a team that featured the then all-time leading rusher (Walter Payton), a great receiver (Willie Gault), a very good QB (Jim McMahon), and the second greatest defense ever only win one Super Bowl? On paper, the Bears of the mid to late 80s were better than the 49ers of the same era, but games are not played on paper (otherwise Michigan would be in the BCS title game...hehehe). After going 15-1 and destroying the Pats in Super Bowl XX, the Bears went 14-2 in '86, only to lose to the Redskins at home in the playoffs. The next year (Payton's last) they went 10-4 in a strike-shortened season, and lost again to the Redskins, who eventually went on to win the Super Bowl. The Bears would reach the NFC title game in 1988, losing to the 49ers, and in '89 they went 6-10. This team should have won 3 Lombardi trophies in a row, but egos and injuries did them in.

UNLV Basketball: Before Michigan's "Fab Five" electrified arenas across the country, there were the Runnin' Rebels. In the 1989-90 season, they returned five starters from a team that had reached the NCAA quarterfinals the year before. Joining Greg Anthony, Anderson Hunt, and Stacey Augmon was a new forward named Larry Johnson. LJ would lead the team in scoring, and the Rebels went 35-5, including winning 21 of their last 22 games. In the NCAA tourney, they were beyond dominant, save a two-point squeaker over Ball State in the Sweet 16 round. After that game they pounded Loyola Marymount (who, after the shocking and tragic death of star Hank Gathers, smashed defending champ Michigan 149-115) to reach the Final Four. They beat Georgia Tech by 9 in the semis and faced Duke for the title. It was a massacre. UNLV went on an 18-0 run early in the second half and won 103-73, setting finals records for points in a game and margin of victory.
The next season, UNLV was even better. They steamrolled through the regular season, going 27-0. The Rebels then won their conference tournament and the first four games of the NCAAs. In the Final Four game, they once again faced Duke, but the outcome was different. Duke won, 79-77, and started an impressive run of success that continues to this day. The next season UNLV had to adjust to the losses of their key players, but still managed to do well and make the NCAAs. However, scandals would rip the program apart, and save for a few flashes of decency, UNLV hasn't come close to what they were in the early 90s.

The Oakland Athletics: Forget the Yankees of the late 90s. Forget the spending power of George Steinbrenner and whoever the hell owns the Red Sox. The Oakland Athletics of the late 1980s were the most talented team in baseball since the Reds of the 70s. They had a pre-steroid-but-still-heavy-hitting Mark McGwire, and Jose Canseco when he was one of the best players in the game. Together they made the Bash Brothers, but they were only a part of this juggernaut. The A's also had Ricky Henderson (greatest leadoff hitter...ever), Dave Henderson, Dave Parker (Pirate fans should know how great he was), Dave Stewart (great starter), and Hall-of-Famer Dennis Eckersley. The A's won three straight AL pennants from '88 to '90, yet only won it all in that famous '89 "Earthquake Series". In '88 they were defeated in five games by the Dodgers, who you could say were a team of destiny (I'm sick of seeing that Gibson HR). In '90 they won 103 games and were expected to beat the living crap out of the Cincinnati Reds, who looked completely outmatched. The Reds swept them, and Oakland missed the playoffs in 1991. They won their division again in '92, and lost to eventual Series champs Toronto in the ALCS. After that age and departures took their toll on the team, and they struggled through the 90s. They have started to have some success in recent years thanks to the whole "Moneyball" system, but even those teams pale in comparison to what they once had. Even Oakland players from that era realize that they could have been known as one of the best teams ever, but they blew their chance. It's a shame, cause they were fun to watch.

But the team that really should have become the gods of sports...

The Pittsburgh Penguins: Yeah, they won the Cup in 1991 and 1992, but those weren't their best teams. The 91-92 squad featured ten players that are either in the Hall of Fame or will be when they retire. As a bonus, their coach was Scotty Bowman, the winningest coach in NHL history, and the man who has coached more teams to titles than anyone else in sports. After sweeping the last two series of the '92 playoffs, the Pens started the '92-93 season on fire, and ended it with an NHL-record 17 game winning streak, winning the President's Trophy for best record in the league. Everyone was convinced this team would three-peat, and as a result go down as one of the best, if not the best, teams in hockey history. However, the New York Islanders took them to seven games in the second round, and beat them in overtime in game 7. It was one of the most shocking upsets in recent hockey history, and ranks up there with Francisco Cabrera in dark moments in Pittsburgh sports. The Pens, led by greats such as Mario Lemieux, Jaromir Jagr, and Ron Francis, made the playoffs every year in the '90s, but got so far as the conference finals only once. Lemieux came back in 2000 after a three-year retirement to lead them to another conference final, but again they didn't win, and we all know what has happened to them since. Like the Bears, the A's, and UNLV, this team had more than enough talent to win more titles than they actually did. In fact, the Pens could have easily won three or four more Cups in the 90s, but for a variety of reasons they didn't. Now, there may be hope for them again, as they have made some pretty good acquisitions (it's still early, they can turn it around). However, we won't see a run like they had in the '90s, nor will we likely see any team win it all year after year. Dynasties are dead, and even great teams are a challenge.

Drums Please

2005-11-22T20:43:00.000-05:00

Drums Please
by Kamo

With the end of the 2005 College Football regular season upon us, it is only fitting that in typical post-season fashion that we give out some awards to the best, and worst, of the year that was. Without further delay, I give you the 2005 Kamo's.

Kamo's Best Coach - Steve Spurrier: Charlie Weis is the popular pick among we Irish folk, but in all reality the Ol' Ballcoach did more with less for the Gamecocks piecing together a 7-4 season and a bowl bid.

Kamo's Worst Coach - Ty Loserham: Once again, Tyrone managed to make a mockery of the game of football by posting a pathetic 2-9 record. Did some coaches have a worse record? Sure, but there is not a single coach who is more inept at everything he does on the football field than him. Someone should fire him for good and relegate him to cleaning jockstraps with his saliva.

Kamo's Best Offensive Player - Reggie Bush: If you wish to challenge this pick, please note the 519 yards that he put up against #16 Fresno State, a total that was more than most TEAMS put up during the course of a game.

Kamo's Best Defensive Player - Paul Posluzny: This guy is an animal who is all over the field every game. Take him away from Penn State's defense and what you have is an 8-3 team at best. A.J. Hawk gets some consideration here, but his supporting cast allows him to do a lot of what he does.

Kamo's Best True Freshman - Steve Slaton: As much as it pains me to pick a WVU player for anything other than All-Booze and Stab team, Slaton has been as impressive as anyone- especially when it counts. Against Louisville he single-handedly won the game with his six touchdowns and kept WVU in the Big East race.

Kamo's Best Game - USC @ Notre Dame: This game was a classic from start to finish with the Irish donning their kelly green jerseys and almost pulling the upset of the year. Matt Leinart showed why he is a potential #1 pick next season with the amazing fourth and nine throw to Dwayne Jarrett to essentially win the game for USC.

Kamo's Most Overrated Team - Louisville: The Cardinals came into the season as the sexy pick to win the Big East and possibly the National Championship. Losses to South Florida and WVU crushed that notion, so Brian Brohm and Co. will look to next season as their breakout year.

Kamo's Most Underrated Team - South Florida: The Bulls came from out of nowhere to be in contention for the Big East title heading into this weekend. Jim Leavitt got a big fat contract that he definately deserved for his job this season.

Kamo's Best Mid-Major Team - TCU: The Horned Frogs surprised Oklahoma in Norman earlier in the year... then promptly lost to perennial doormat SMU. Besides that little trip, however, the Frogs have been the best team from a non-BCS conference hands down.

Kamo's Worst Team - Temple Owls: You could pick a number of teams here (namely the how-can-you-lose-12-in-a-season New Mexico State Aggies) but Temple earns this distinction due to their status as everyone's favorite team to play. Get blown out at home? Schedule the Owls. Lose your star quarterback and need a gimme game? Schedule the Owls? Need to simply win one (listen up New Mexico State)? Play to Owls.

Kamo's Best Team - USC Trojans: USC is a lot of things, the least of which is good. 10-0 going into Saturday's game against UCLA and a chance to play for a third straight National Championship earns them this honor.

With all that said, here is a sneak peak at next season
Kamo's Top Ten for 2006:
1. Texas
2. Miami
3. Notre Dame
4. USC
5. Virginia Tech
6. LSU
7. Ohio State
8. Georgia
9. WVU
10. Penn State

Well, that is it for tonight... if you like what we're writing let us know at theirishbuckeye@hotmail.com because you know we love it when you love us. If you don't like it, tough luck because we're us and you're not.

Sports Entertainment Behind the Curtain

2005-11-14T20:27:00.000-05:00

"Here I am, on the road again. There I am, up on the stage, Here I go, playing star again. There I go, turn the page." - Bob Seger

The world of professional wrestling was dealt a shocking blow yesterday morning when Eddy Guerrero was found dead in his hotel room in Minneapolis. Guerrero was in town for a double-taping of Raw and Smackdown! for this week, and it was very possible that he was going to win the WWE Championship, since Batista is injured and needs surgery. He was only 38 years old, and leaves behind a wife and three children.

Guerrero's untimely passing is a colossal tragedy on an individual level, and also for the entire wrestling industry. He had been wrestling for almost two decades, but only in the last couple years did he finally become a main event star in WWE. He had overcome drug and alcohol addiction several years ago, and survived a car crash that could have very easily killed him. Everything had been going his way, and for it to be all over now is truly a shame.

His death is also the latest in a series of premature deaths that have become wrestling's dark secret. But now the secret may be out. While it is too early to speculate on the cause of Guerrero's death, the first thing that comes to people's minds is that he was back on drugs and died of complications from that. Considering his past history this is not too far fetched, but even if he hadn't made his substance abuse problems public, this would be an easy conclusion to jump to. Several of the biggest stars of the 80s and 90s have died in the past few years, and in almost every one of these deaths drugs, including steriods, were involved. Here are just a few of them:

"Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig, 44, acute cocaine intoxication
Davey Boy Smith (The British Bulldog), 39, heart attack brought on by drug problems
Road Warrior Hawk, 46, heart attack after battling drug, alcohol, and steroid abuse
Miss Elizabeth, 42, accidental drug overdose.

Many more wrestlers, like Jake "The Snake" Roberts, The Road Dogg, and Scott Hall, have been battling drug and alcohol problems for years, and in Hall and Road Dogg's cases it cost them their jobs with WWE. I'm sure this stuff happens in every part of the athletic world, but nowhere are the effects more visible, and the consequences more severe, than in wrestling. Guerrero's death is like Jerome Bettis not waking up tomorrow morning (God forbid). How many times have you seen an athlete at the top of his profession and in the prime of his career suddenly be struck down? It seems to happen too often in the squared circle.

If it is determined that drugs in any way contributed to Eddie Guerrero's death, then WWE and the entire wrestling industry need to look at the way the business is run. These men and women are on the road nearly 300 days a year, and night after night they are putting their bodies on the line by performing amazing stunts and beating each other senseless. Yes, it is scripted, and they are not "really" hitting each other, but they are still doing enough that it takes a toll on their bodies. Since many of them don't want to miss time and thus hurt their storyline or character, and with the little time they get to begin with, they have to find ways to play through the pain. This is where the painkillers and other drugs come in. Their lives are spent on the road, away from their families, and working harder than any of us realize.

We watch wrestling as an escape, the same way our mothers watch soap operas. We loved watching Steve Austin beat up Vince McMahon, because we all wanted to do the same to our bosses. We loved Hulk Hogan because he was the closest thing to a real life Superman we could get. Every Monday we tune in to Raw to be entertained, and each week those wrestlers come through. We don't realize that many of them destroy themselves just to put a smile on our faces. Hopefully now we do know, and we won't ask as much of them.

You know the email address, so send something. I'll see yinz next week, when hopefully I'll have something happy to write about, namely an Ohio State victory over that team up north.

2005-11-10T21:51:00.000-05:00

NFL Midseason Report
by Wilson

We're nine weeks into the season, and the two most important lessons we've learned are book a private boat if you're going to get you and your teammates some, and don't mess with Mother Nature. Waaaaaay back in September, in my previous blog incarnation, I had an NFL preview (I also had an NCAA preview, but that turned into an unmitigated disaster, and thus I will never speak of it again), and now I'm going to review some of the stuff I said.

The Steelers
The past game against Green Bay, and that debacle against Jacksonville only further proved the importance of Ben Roethlisberger. When he plays, that entire team is different, like they know they are going to win. Overall, the Steelers have done well, grinding out tough victories and also blowing some teams out. Willie Parker has shown he can be a starting running back in the NFL, and Quincy Morgan may prove to be quite a free agent pickup. On defense, they are still strong, although the fast starts that some teams have had against them is cause for concern. Joey Porter needs to step up or he will be gone, and Troy Polamalu will retire as the greatest safety in team history. The guy is an absolute stud.

My Preseason Picks:
AFC North Champs - Steelers*
AFC South Champs - Indianapolis Colts*
AFC East Champs - New York Jets
AFC West Champs - Oakland Raiders
Wild Card - San Diego Chargers and Jacksonville Jaguars

NFC North Champs - Minnesota Vikings
NFC South Champs - New Orleans Saints*
NFC East Champs - Dallas Cowboys
NFC West Champs - Seattle Seahawks*
Wild Card - Philadelphia Eagles and Carolina Panthers

AFC CHAMPS - Indianapolis Colts
NFC CHAMPS - Seattle Seahawks

SUPER BOWL CHAMPS - Indianapolis Colts

Well, so far I'm right with the Colts and Seahawks leading the division. The Steelers are a half game behind and should win, the Cowboys are a game behind and could have some problems, and just about every other pick was wrong. The Vikings, a Super Bowl contender in the eyes of many, are a train wreck. My Saints pick should be stricken from the record because of the hurricane, as should the Jets because of all the injury problems they've had. The Raiders are an enigma, as they have loads of talent, but something's not clicking. Carolina is tied for the division lead, Jacksonville and San Diego are still in contention for the wild card if not the division title, and the Eagles are...um...different. My updated picks later.

Midseason Awards:
MVP: Carson Palmer. Look at the Bengals record. Other contenders: Roethlisberger (look at the Steelers with him, and without him), Peyton Manning (duh, they're undefeated), and Jake Plummer (did I really just type that?).

Rookies of the Year: Heath Miller and Bryant McFadden. Local bias aside, Miller has given the Steelers a receiving threat at tight end that they haven't seen since the early days of Eric Green. McFadden has stepped in and performed very well at a tough position for a rookie. He's going to be a special player very soon.

Coach of the Year: Marvin Lewis. Cincy has improved each year he's been there, and this year he's got them on the verge of something big.

Biggest surprise: Tampa Bay. They have stunk since they won the Super Bowl, and now they're a good team again.

Biggest disappointment: Minnesota. What a mess.

My Other Random Thoughts, and How Right I Was:
1. Shaun Alexander missed out on the rushing title and an incentive bonus by one yard last year. This year he leaves no doubt as to who the top rusher in the NFL is, as he leads talented Seattle to the Super Bowl.
The Super Bowl part is obviously up in the air still, but he is leading the league in rushing yards, and he will continue to do so.
2. New Orleans, another talented team, will finally put it all together and win their division. Of course, it won't be hard because Michael Vick will either get hurt trying one of his stuntman plays, or have a bad season trying to be an inaccurate pocket passer.
Again, cut me some slack. The Saints had some really bad circumstances to start the season, and the fact they are functioning at all is remarkable. As for the Falcons, I'm still not sold on Vick being able to lead them all the way.
3. The Ravens will not be a playoff team despite what everyone says. Kyle Boller will struggle, Derrick Mason is old and has lost a step (hence his release from the Titans), and Jamal Lewis will need a while to get back to form after his little coke problem.
I was right on this one. They stink.
4. Ray Lewis will continue to be the most overrated player in football, but he's gonna have to yell and dance a little more to maintain that status. He had a subpar 2004, and now he's a year older.
And he's been injured. Boo hoo.
5. Throughout the season, James Farrior will convince everyone who the real best linebacker in football is. By January sports writers will be saying, "Ray who?"
He hasn't had a season like last year's, but he's still doing well, and should make the Pro Bowl again.
6. New England will not make the playoffs. They have adjusted to personnel losses tremendously in recent years, but this year they may have taken too many hits to the roster and coaching staff. Plus, the Jets and Bills are improved and may have caught up to them (especially the Jets...they could make a lot of noise).
The Pats may be in first, but that's because the rest of the division has choked. They are nowhere close to the team that has won 3 of the past 4 titles, and if one of their division rivals steps it up, they could be watching the playoffs. Oh, and the Jets are not going to win it. They have problems...lots of problems.
7. The Bengals, despite having some pretty good players, are still the Bengals, and thus won't do better than 8-8.
They have looked good, but they have also looked horrible. We'll have to see about these guys.
8. The Eagles, rocked with injuries and that slimebag Terrell Owens, will struggle to 9 or 10 wins, and be lucky to get a wild card berth. Owens will either walk out or get kicked off the team by December.
I am psychic. Even before T.O. got booted, the Eagles were struggling. Now with him gone they are in a world of trouble. I don't even think they'll make the playoffs. And I hope T.O. has to play arena ball the rest of his career. What a piece of trash.
9. Drew Bledsoe, reunited with Bill Parcells in Dallas, will have a late career resurgence and lead the Cowboys to the NFC East title.
Bledsoe has been great, and the Cowboys are right in the thick of the race. They will win the east.
10. The Bears will go 2-14 if they're lucky. What a mess.
They lucked out by playing in the worst division in NFL history.
11. Arizona will still be bad, but not as bad as they have been. They need a good young QB to go with those receivers, and then they might have something going there.
They do suck this year, but there is a lot of hope. When they're good, they're good, but when they're bad...ugh.
12. The Detroit Lions will finish 9-7 and barely miss a playoff spot. They got some great young backs and receivers there, and they could become an offensive juggernaut like the Vikings of the late 90s. Expect them to be a Super Bowl contender in 2006.
They are in the race, but not with the QB I had expected. I figured Harrington would explode with that talent around him.
13. Cleveland will still stink. I don't even know who their quarterback is. Hold on I gotta look it up. Trent Dilfer? Oh God. Their October 9 game with Chicago should be called "The #1 Pick Bowl".
While this game wasn't the Leinart Bowl, Cleveland is still awful, and they might wind up with the top pick come April 2006.
14. The Steelers will once again get our hopes up before losing in the AFC Championship, but this time it will not be at Heinz Field. The Colts will get home field advantage, and their amazing offense will take them all the way (I know it's bad to go against the Steelers, but if I say they will win it all, then I'll jinx them. You guys understand, don't you?).
No comment.

My New Picks:
AFC East: New England
AFC North: Steelers
AFC South: Indianapolis
AFC West: Denver
Wild Card: Cincy and Jacksonville

NFC East: Dallas
NFC North: Detroit
NFC South: Carolina
NFC West: Seattle
Wild Card: Atlanta and Washington

SUPER BOWL: Indy over Seattle.

That's all folks. Send an email to theirishbuckeye@hotmail.com and tell us what you think. Please. We're getting desperate.

2005-11-09T15:26:00.000-05:00

Random Wednesday
by Kamo

- Terrell Owens has made headlines yet again, this time for his verbal trashing of not only Donovan McNabb but also of the Philadelphia Eagles' organization. I, for one, am sick of T.O. and the numerous athletes out there who are just like him and while I will be the first to stand up and say that McNabb is probably as overrated as a QB can be, T.O. and his antics have gotten old. I had a great admiration for the man after his Super Bowl performance and I even went as far as to suggest the Steelers trade Hines Ward for him whenever Ward was holding out. However, it is now that I see that doing such a thing would have been the most ridiculous course of action ever taken. It is my opinion that T.O. (and any player, in any sport who shares his mental state) should not be allowed to play- ever. All 32 teams should boycott signing him and all of his endorsements should be stripped as well. Of course, this will never happen and T.O. will be playing for another team within a year. I just hope that the team is in the CFL.

- Race. The Black Coaches Association (BCA) rankings of D-1 colleges and their minority hiring processes were recently released. While I am not going to bicker over rankings, I am once again going to ask: What if there was a White Coaches Association? Better yet, what if there was a White Players Association that ranked NBA teams on their hiring practices of caucasions for their respective teams? I mean, you don't see anyone ever going around saying, "The way the Bulls treated Luc Longley after the '97 season had racist written all over it." In addition, Pat Haden said something along the lines of, "Tommy Zbikowski sure can run for a white guy," and everyone laughs it off. But let him say, "Man, for a black guy, he is slow," and he gets fired. Bottom line is that blacks get special treatment and circumstances in everything. White people can't say anything about another race, yet we are the most ridiculed and targeted group of people in the world. So, here is my official word: Fisher DeBerry, you're right and should be cheered for speaking the truth. Ditto that, JoePa because you simply spoke what every white man knows but won't admit. Black athletes are faster. White athletes are smarter. THAT'S why white people coach and black people play.

- ESPN does a weekly bottom 10 teams at the 1-A level with most of the teams consisting of MAC and Sun Belt bottom feeders. While I enjoy looking to see how bad these teams truly are, here is my BCS conference bottom 10:

10. Pittsburgh: Oh my, where to begin? The Panthers went from having a hometown coach who could do no wrong with one of the top QB-WR duos in the nation and a preseason top 25 ranking to being 4-5 and on the cusp of missing a bowl game. Ugh.
9. Washington State: The Cougs started out 3-0 and were considered "sneaky" by some experts. However, since moving up to the D 1-A part of their schedule they have went 0-6. Hope is on the horizon however- a trip to punchless Washington looms next weekend.
8. Arkansas: Houston Nutt's bunch (haha) gave up 4 touchdowns in 6 plays against USC. That is pathetic.
7. Purdue: They have 1 win over a team with anything resembling a decent record. I have no pity for the Boilermakers because of the undeniable fact that they are classless and are 6-11 since beating Notre Dame last season. You don't piss with the Irish because karma is a bitch.
6. Mississippi State: The Bulldogs' only win against a 1-A opponent this season was against hurricane ravaged Tulane. The question here is simply, What Happened? I can remember Mississippi State being somewhat decent just a few years back. If someone has an answer, use the email below and win a prize.
5. Illinois: Hiring Ron Zook was a genius move. No, not really and giving up 60 or more points more than once in the season, scoring nothing but a safety against Ohio State, and claiming that during a 17 point loss that your team, "made some strides," is grounds for removal from the Big Ten.
4. Syracuse: I think it is safe to say the honeymoon is over for Greg Robinson. Their lone win is over Buffalo, which is 0-11, and they haven't even been competitive since losing by 3 to Virginia. Fortunately I will be able to bask in their pain next week as I will be in South Bend for their worst loss of the season. Yippee!!!
3. Duke: The Blue Devils get a mulligan for two reasons: For one, their basketball team would romp over just about any other team in the nation this year. Two, Duke graduates will be telling graduates of most other BCS conference schools where to put the trash one day.
2. Washington: Ah, yes. Tyrone (Loser) Willingham and his bunch are a disgrace. They beat Idaho but have not been competitive at any other point losing by an average of 18.5 points this season. This is a unique situation because I feel bad for the players on the team. I know it must be tough to know going out on the field that the team across from you is not only more talented, but also more prepared in every way. How bad would it be to know that your coaching staff is not going to give you any chance to win the game. Oh, but Ty deserved more of a chance at Notre Dame, right? Bullshit. He is the worst coach in college football- period.
1. Temple: Oh boy. The Owls are bad. As in, I really think that any team in the USA Today top 25 high school rankings could beat them... by 2 touchdowns. This team really has had no chance and has given up 30 or more points every game this season. Not good.

Well, thats it for this week. If you like what we're writing, please, PLEASE email us at theirishbuckeye@hotmail.com because we really do appreciate and enjoy praise. If you don't like what we are writing, tough luck. Go write on your own blog and complain about why Saved by the Bell is only shown in the mornings on TBS.

2005-11-05T17:40:00.000-05:00

The 2005 Pittsburgh Pirates: A Season Down the Sink
by Wilson

Yeah, it's a little late, but since Kamo took my idea of writing about how much of a moron Jason "The Only Thing I Can Do With My Job is Write About How Whitie Keeps Me Down" Whitlock is, I figured I'd discuss the six-month travesty that was the Pirates' 2005 season. The Buccos are like that old t-shirt you own: holes, odd smell, not worth a damn since 1992, but you can't get rid of it. We want to stop watching them, to devote our time to something more worthwhile, but damnit we love the Pirates, and no matter how bad they are or get (can it get any worse?), we're still gonna love them.

There was genuine optimism for the 2005 season. The Pirates boasted the 2004 NL Rookie of the Year in Jason Bay, a 200-hit shortstop in Jack Wilson, who was also one half of the best middle infield in baseball (2B Jose Castillo showed tons of potential last year). They also had a good young bullpen, talented veteran leadership in Mark Redman, Benito Santiago, Matt Lawton, and resurrected Jose Mesa. These things alone had most Pirate fans hopeful of a winning season, but there was one more thing that seemed to have convinced them: Oliver Perez. In 2004 he was beyond dominant, striking out over 200 batters and striking fear into the best hitters in the game. It seemed like this year he would do even better.

Then came opening day.

Perez got rocked in his first start, and in most of the next 15. Turns out he didn't work out in the offseason, and he came into spring training in awful shape. This was pretty much the theme for the entire year: high hopes that led to horrible disappointments. Since I have nothing better to do, I'll break this misery down by position.

Catcher: The original plan was for Santiago to start roughly half the season and "catcher of the future" Humberto Cota to start the other half to get him acclimated to the game. That didn't happen, as Santiago was injured early, and minor league call-up Ryan Doumit showed that he is the real future. The Pirates sent Benito packing before Memorial Day, and Cota once again became the bridesmaid. The Pirates look to be set at catcher for the foreseeable future, as Doumit is a great hitter with improving skills on defense, and Cota makes for a solid backup.

First Base: Craig Wilson started slow, and kept getting injured, so the season was a wash for him. Daryle Ward didn't hit a home run over the last three and a half months, and he will not be back for '06. But the real story at first is Brad Eldred. He began the year in AA Altoona, and absolutely dominated the pitching. He was quickly promoted to AAA Indianapolis, where after a slow start he began hitting homers like it was going out of style. He was quickly promoted to Pittsburgh, where after a slow start...well, he began hitting homers. These weren't just homers, though; they were towering shots deep into the seats. In three levels this year, Eldred hit over 40 home runs. He has the potential to do that on a regular basis in the majors, but he really really really needs to strike out less. If he can do that, the Bucs will have a superstar first baseman for the next ten years.

Second Base: Before getting injured, Jose Castillo had another solid season at the plate, and did a remarkable job on defense. After his injury, Freddy Sanchez filled in and did just fine. This is yet another position with which the Pirates should be comfortable. We'll see Castillo on SportsCenter's top ten plays for quite some time.

Shortstop: Jack Wilson had another fine season in the field (how does he not have a Gold Glove yet?), but he tailed off dramatically at the plate. Hitting 51 points lower than he did in 2004. Some of it can be attributed to the off-season appendectomy he had, but other times it just looked as though he was trying entirely too hard. So which one is the real Jack Wilson, the .308, 200 hit star of 2004, or the .257 he had this year? My guess is somewhere in the middle, which is just fine.

Third Base: Good thing we got rid of Aramis Ramirez, cause we are fine there now. And if you believe that I'll tell you another one. Ty Wigginton started the season at third, and played his way to the minors. Freddy Sanchez and super-utilityman Rob Mackowiak did OK there, but the third base position is one the Pirates desperately need to address. Jose Bautista appears to be the 3B of the future, but he may not be ready for the bigs yet. They need to get rid of Wigginton (just as a little side note, he said at the beginning of the year, "There's no reason why this team can't win the National League." I have a good reason: you stunk the joint out!) and acquire a talented third baseman, either through a trade or free agency.

Outfield: Matt Lawton, the opening day RF, did decent at the plate, but was shaky in the field and even worse running the bases. He was traded to the Cubs for Jody Gerut, who immediately got injured and missed the rest of the year (Armando Rios II). Nate McLouth filled in there and in center, and showed a lot of potential. At center, Tike Redman once again failed to impress, both at the plate and with the glove, and he may not be back next year. Chris Duffy was called up, and blew everyone away with his solid hitting and incredible speed. In left, Jason Bay improved greatly on his 2004 season, which was also pretty damn good. He has quickly become an elite player, and signing him to a long-term deal should be a top priority for the Pirates this offseason.

Starting Pitching: What was supposed to the the Pirates strength for 2005 turned out to be their undoing. Perez struggled all year, and missed significant time after kicking a laundry cart and breaking his toe. Kip Wells was a disaster, having one good start and following it with seven bad ones. He looked lost, scared, confused, and just awful this year. Josh Fogg also had a bad year, and he lost his starting spot and doesn't figure to be back. Mark Redman looked great the first two months, then fell apart, making every team lose interest in him and forcing him to exercise his option for 2006 (gee, great). Dave Williams had the best year out of the original five starters, performing well for someone that has missed a lot of time recently. Despite these shortcomings, there were two very bright spots in in Zach Duke and Paul Maholm. Duke won his first seven decisions and showed a lot of poise for someone that's only 22, and Maholm won his first few decisions and did a fantastic job at the end of the year. If these two keep this up, and if Perez can get his ass in shape over the winter and become the monster he was in '04, the Pirates will have one of the best rotations in baseball.

Relief Pitching: The bullpen showed both flashes of brilliance and flashes of horror in 2005. Veterans Jose Mesa, Rick White, and Brian Meadows will not be back in 2006. Young talent such as Ian Snell, Bryan Bullington, Mike Johnston, and Tom Gorzelanny will try to replace them. Mike Gonzalez and Salomon Torres will battle for the closer job, with the loser likely returning to setup duty.

Coaching: Lloyd McClendon lost his job in early September, and while he may not have been given a fair chance with such a crappy team, it was clear something needed to be done. As for the rest of the coaching staff, they all did pretty lousy too. It's remarkable that pitching coach Spin Williams had a job as long as he did. There have been so many talented young pitchers that came up to Pittsburgh and completely tanked, then went on to other teams and became Cy Young caliber stars. That can't be just a coincidence. Hopefully proven winner Jim Tracy and his staff can both maximize what they have now and develop the young talent they get.

Highlight of the 2005 Season: Beating the Tampa Bay Devil Rays to reach .500 with a 30-30 record. Sure, they totally fell apart after that, but for one night there was joy and great optimism for this hard luck franchise.

Lowlight of the 2005 Season: Take your pick. It could have been Wigginton, Redman and Ward's struggles, some of the painful losses, or just about every Kip Wells start. My pick is the Oliver Perez-Laundry Cart fight, in which Cart was victorious. That incident was a microcosm of the Pirates' season.

Outlook for 2006: The core players are there, and it's now up to management to bring in the right players that can turn this team into a winner. Kevin McClatchy has said the payroll will nearly double, and with an increase like that we will find out just how good of a GM Dave Littlefield is. Jim Tracy is a good manager, so we will see how some of the struggling players perform under him. If Kip Wells can't succeed this year, then the Pirates need to get rid of him. The Pirates will not win the National League Central as long as the St. Louis Cardinals are in it, but they can make some noise in the division. The Cubs will stink, the Reds always stink, and the Astros have so many old players that sooner or later they'll collapse. The Brewers were good last year and should get better this year. If all the cards fall in place, 2006 could be the year the Pirates finally win more games than they lose. But I could also be writing this article all over again this time next year.

Until next time, keep sending emails (actually based on the last time I checked, start sending emails) to theirishbuckeye@hotmail.com and tell us what you think or what you like, or if you're a hot single female your phone number and turn ons. Farewell!

2005-11-02T19:34:00.000-05:00

Jason "The Racist" Whitlock
by Kamo

Being a religious follower of everything concerning Notre Dame football, specifically NDNation and Rock’s House because of the plethora of information regarding the team and their season, it appears that everyone who frequents that site is completely up in arms over Jason Whitlock’s column concerning Charlie Weis’ recent contract extension. As a recap, let’s summarize a little bit of Whitlock’s stance on the matter:

Whitlock opens his column by separating black from white in the first sentence by using the word “negro” to describe Don King, so right from the start even the most casual reader can see that this is going to be a racially motivated column. He continues to say that he did not have a problem with Willingham’s firing because he believes it was unfair, which is ok because he thinks (that is debatable) that life tends to be unfair. What Whitlock ultimately contends, however, is that Weis’ contract extension is racist because of the fact that Tyrone Willingham was, “far more impressive in the first two months of his initial season than Weis has been in his.” So, within the same column, he is saying that Willingham’s firing wasn’t necessarily unfounded by Notre Dame but that if Weis deserves the contract that he got for going 5-2 than Willingham deserved one for going 8-0. So, let’s take the next step…

Besides the fact that this is a racially charged tirade by a washed up football player (more on that later), what Whitlock assumes is that Willingham starting 8-0 is far more impressive than Weis starting 5-2 and my question is simply this: What exactly does he base this assumption on? Sure, going 8-0 is no doubt impressive on paper, but here is the difference in the two seasons: When most people are sitting back right now and saying, “Yeah, 6 more points and we’re undefeated,” in 2001, people were saying, “Man, 13 points and we’re 1-3.” The 2001 Notre Dame team won with defense, special teams, and a little bit of luck. Wins against Purdue, Michigan, and Michigan State were all three games that could have easily been losses. Their most impressive wins came against an overrated Maryland team, and at Florida State, a win that was followed by the embarrassing fiasco against BC. Fast forward to 2005- while this team is 5-2, its wins have been equal parts impressive and dominating and its losses have been epic and heartbreaking. So, now we have dissected part of what one person called, “Steaming Dung,” but unfortunately we are far from being done.

The second thing that I take issue with here is that he is contradicting himself when he says that Willingham getting fired was not problematic to him. If Willingham’s firing was not problematic, that means that it was justified in some way. If his firing was in any way justified, that means he did not perform up to expectations. If he did not perform up to expectations than he in no way deserved to have an extension of any kind, correct? Also, whenever he says, “Weis and his handlers shouldn't get away with floating the story about his $1.5 million buyout and how that makes Notre Dame vulnerable to an NFL team stealing him,” and in the next sentence says, “The media shouldn't act like Notre Dame had no choice but to hand Weis a new deal,” he is once again contradicting. Mr. Whitlock, how is it so that Charlie Weis and his “handlers” floated the story in one sentence and in the very next it was the media, not his “handlers” who made it appear Notre Dame had no choice to give the extension. The bottom line is that one of your colleagues (the guy from NFL.com, and yes, he is indeed a colleague because he is a fellow writer) floated the story, not anyone from Notre Dame, and certainly not one of those supposed “handlers.” Maybe if you stopped to think before you wrote- which is something that you owe to any of your readers, white or black, - and got the facts straight, your arguments might carry with them a little more clout.

So, we have no established that his assumptions have no backbone and his facts are completely out of whack, we can focus on yet another issue: Race. This is no doubt a touchy issue for all involved, but more so for the white race. If a white writer used the word negro, their would be a riot. When a white coach makes the simple (and true) statement that blacks run fast, he is publicly targeted and ridiculed for being insensitive to the boundaries of race in today’s society. If a white man were to sound off on a column on a major sports website about how a white coach was shorted in favor of a black one, there is no doubt he would lose his job and quite possibly never find another one. It would be like if Chris Mortensen would have went off about how Poodle Pete deserved the Browns job last season more so than Romeo Crennel because what he did as a head coach was far superior to anything Crennel did as an assistant. Mortensen would be fired and then he would be publicly targeted as a racist and a bigot, however, when Jason Whitlock does the exact same thing on the other side of the fence, the only argument is about how wrong his opinion is. Nothing is said about how bad of a person he is because he did not research the facts before making what is, in my opinion, a completely racist column towards whites in general. The bottom line is that Jason Whitlock is the racist and, because of what is politically supposed to be correct, no one will ever say a word about it.

Like what we said? Hate what we said? Let us know what you think by emailing us at theirishbuckeye@hotmail.com. Maybe we'll post your email, maybe not. If you do get your email posted, you win a prize: the fame of having your email read by the 8 people that read this thing.

2005-10-31T16:33:00.000-05:00

BCS is B-O-G-U-S
by Kamo

In what has become a rite of fall, the running joke of college football (a.k.a. the BCS) has once again reared its ugly head and the nightmare of having numerous undefeated teams at the end of the season is becoming more and more of a possibility with each passing week. As it stands right now, there are five remaining unbeatens: USC, Texas, Virginia Tech, Alabama, and UCLA. There will be no more than four unbeatens at seasons end as USC and UCLA have yet to play one another, however, this scenario could play out: Let's just say that USC does indeed beat UCLA in their season finale and Texas, VT, and Alabama all win out. What you have is four teams from four major conferences, meaning that the road to an unbeaten season was more difficult than it would be for a team like Utah, who did it last season in the Mountain West. Whats more, all of these teams believe they belong in the Rose Bowl and how can you blame them for believing that? So I beg the question: How can you say that USC and Texas are more deserving than VT and Bama or vice versa? The bottom line is that you simply can't. So, I propose my playoff format. Its simple, it still leaves room for bowls (because, of course, that is where the money comes from) and it crowns an undisputed National Champ each season.

-- First and foremost, what any college football follower needs to know is that the bowl season will never die and to be frank, I don't think it should. Bowl games are as much apart of college football as kegs and eggs, and I will be the first to agree that the bowls should stay around. So, naturally, all 28 bowls will be played in their entirety.

-- Secondly, eliminate teams having more than one bye week. It is an 11 game season that, as of right now, stretches 15 weeks. Make it uniform that every team begins the season on the same weekend and every team ends the same weekend. Play the conference championships on week 12 and the playoffs will begin on week 13, so this season the playoffs would begin on December 10th.

-- Lets do the math: 28 Bowls would equate to 56 teams being bowl eligible. I propose a committee being formed, in similar fashion to March Madness, to pick the top 56 teams that will be bowl eligible. Like the NCAA Basketball Tournament, each conference must have at least one representative and there will also be at-large bids with the lesser bowls picking from a pool of teams. So, for example, (are you listening New Orleans and GMAC bowls?) the five bowls that payout the least get to pick from the bottom 10, the next five pick from the second to last 10 and so on. This continues until you get to the eight bowls that are on New Years Day or later, which leaves the top 16 teams in the nation (as generated by the, ugh, BCS) to be the playoff teams.

-- Now, here is where it gets tricky. Those lesser bowls I just talked about usually begin around the beginning of the third week of December and the teams playing in those bowls are typically not going to be in contention for a playoff berth anyhow so those bowls would be safe for picking those lower rated teams. However, for those bowls that are on New Years Day or later (Cotton, Gator, Outback, Capital One, & the four BCS bowls) they won't know their respective matchups until after the playoffs begin. So, here is the final proposition:

-- The first round is played on December 10th with the top eight teams having home field advantage. The eight teams that get beat in the first round are then picked up by the Cotton, Gator, Outback, and Capital One bowls which ensures that there are no rematches from the playoffs. The second and third rounds play out in a similiar fashion until only two teams remain. So if it was happening this year, the two top teams would play one another in the Rose Bowl for the National Championship. The other three bowls would pick up the other six teams that were elimnated in the 2nd and 3rd rounds to form the BCS, but with a playoff.

-- Confused? Ok, let me try and show you what I mean by using the top 16 from the BCS today:

1st Round - Dec 10th, 2005
USC vs. Florida
Texas vs. Texas Tech
Virginia Tech vs. Notre Dame
Alabama vs. Oregon
UCLA vs. Wisconsin
Miami vs. Georgia
Penn State vs. Ohio State
LSU vs. Florida State

2nd Round - Dec 17th, 2005
USC vs. LSU
Texas vs. Penn State
VT vs. Miami
Alabama vs. UCLA

3rd Round - Dec 24th, 2005
USC vs. Alabama
Texas vs. VT

National Championship - Jan 4th, 2005
USC vs. Texas

As each team drops out they are picked up by a certain bowl, thus ensuring a true National Champ and having the bowl season still be intact. Of course, this is all in a perfect world, which of course the BCS is nothing like that. Well, that is it for tonight. If you like us, email us at theirishbuckeye@hotmail.com and tell us why- we always love and appreciate praise. If you don't like us, too bad, because it doesn't really matter what you think because we are the ones who are writing this stuff. Happy Halloween.

2005-10-27T21:32:00.000-04:00

What's on My Cranium?
by Wilson

- NBA players, shut up. Most of us have to wear "business casual" clothing for over 8 hours every day. You have to wear it for a twenty minute busride, and then for an hour after you make $300,000 playing basketball. And don't even start this racism stuff. How can the NBA be prejudiced against blacks when there's eight white guys in the league?

- The Pirates now have a legit Major League manager with a history of recent success, so the focus now shifts to Dave Littlefield and Kevin McClatchy. There's a talented, young, and very inexpensive nucleus there, and with the payroll expected to go up nearly $20 million, the decision on how that extra money is spent can either save or bury this franchise. I propose a two-year plan: get over .500 in 2006 (although that's not really impressive. I mean, if the Pirates had won 82 games this year, they still would have been 18 games out of first), and then in 2007 make a serious run at the World Series. Any more lousy signings or rebuilding plans, and they'll lose the few real fans they have left.

- Good thing I don't like hockey, cause I'd sure be pissed about the Penguins dreadful start to this season.

- Even if that overrated twit Ray Lewis and properly rated beast Ed Reed would play on Monday, the Ravens still would not have a chance against the Steelers. Their running back is playing like he just got out of prison or something (um...oh wait), their starting QB is a former 3rd stringer here, and his backup may have been the most unpopular quarterback in Pittsburgh history. Great athlete, but not mentally tough. My prediction: Steelers 31, Ravens 6.

- It's scary to think that if Pitt wins the rest of their games, they'll win the Big East and go to a BCS bowl for the second straight year, where they will get annhilated for the second straight year. It says a lot about how bad the Big East is, and how ridiculous the BCS has become, when a team that got stomped by Rutgers and Ohio is still in the running for one of the four biggest bowls in college football.

- When the heck did the NBA start? I couldn't care less.

- When does college basketball start? As lousy as Big East football is, Big East basketball should be amazing.

- The USA will reach at least the semifinals of the World Cup in 2006...and 35 people in this country will care.

- I didn't get a chance to watch all of the USC-Notre Dame game cause of Gratchio's wedding, but everyone's saying it's one of the greatest games, if not the greatest game, in college football history. The parts I saw were good, but nothing will ever compare to the 2003 Fiesta Bowl between Miami and Ohio State, and I'm not just saying that because I'm an OSU fan. That was everything a football fan could want in a game: the top two teams, playing for the top prize, going back and forth into double overtime until one team finally gets it done. The only negatives from that game were the controversial interference call(which was right, albeit a little delayed), and the fact that BCS proponents can point to that game as proof the system works.

- This has nothing to do with sports, but in the past month I have seen the two greatest bands in the world live in what may prove to be the two biggest tours ever. After seeing the Rolling Stones back in September, I thought that U2 would have had to put on the show of their lives to even come close to matching Mick and company. They didn't disappoint. This past Saturday's concert was every bit as good as the Stones show. Once again I was right on the outside edge of the ellipse, which U2 used quite a lot. Being less than ten feet away from one of the greatest artists ever is quite a rush. Both shows were so good, that I'm worried about any future concerts I attend being a letdown. I don't know if anything can top what I've seen the past month, except for the next Stones tour and U2 tour!

That's it for this week, mates. We'd love to hear what you think about this little slice of heaven on the world wide web. Of course, we don't care what you think; we just like the attention. Email us with your questions/comments/complaints/turn-ons at theirishbuckeye@hotmail.com. Maybe we'll post your email, maybe not. If you do get your email posted, you win a prize: the fame of having your email read by the 8 people that read this thing. Bye!

2005-10-20T00:51:00.000-04:00

Just Win, Baby
by Wilson

"You show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser." - Woody Hayes.

I cannot get enough of that quote. That one sentence sums up how one should approach any situation in life, and it was uttered by one of sports' greatest winners. Hayes's desire to win was unparalleled, and it was manifested in four national championships and thirteen Big Ten titles over a 20+ year tenure at Ohio State. His hatred of losing was such that after a Clemson linebacker intercepted a Buckeye pass in the 1978 Gator Bowl, he ran over and punched him. Hayes was fired after that incident, but he left behind a legacy of winning, and thanks to him OSU has been one of the top college football programs in the country for decades.

Back in Hayes's day, sports were all about winning. If a team stunk, they did not enter a five-year rebuilding program, but rather they aimed to win it all the very next year. When Chuck Noll became coach of the Steelers in 1969, he inherited a laughingstock that had not won a playoff game in its 36 year history. But he was not concerned with that; he set the goal of winning and winning immediately. He won his first game in '69, then lost the remaining 14. Still, that did not deter him from his goal, and three years later the Steelers were in the playoffs. By 1980, he had turned the Steelers from a franchise of losers to one that could boast the greatest team in NFL history, and it was because he did not accept losing or failure.

Sadly, this philosophy is not the dominant one in sports. A tolerance, and in some cases a support, of losing pervades it now. Why did people cheer for the Red Sox, who failed-sometimes miserably-to win a championship for 86 years, and why are people starting to jump on the similarly-unlucky White Sox bandwagon? Why is the backup quarterback the most popular guy in town, when he is nothing more than the least incompitent backup? Why does Temple continue to play Division IA football, even though they get killed every game and haven't been to a bowl since the Stone Age? Why in God's name do people still go see the Pirates, who have not had a winning season in 13 years and a title in 26? We have come to accept losing, thinking that as long as the effort is there, it's alright, and someday things will work out.

This is also a problem in our own little towns. Schools no longer let kids play dodgeball because the good athletes always take out the bad ones first and it leads to inequality. Did your Little League coaches ever say to you, "It's not whether you win or lose; it's how you play the game"? Or what about, "We're not here to win. We're here to have fun." That's a bunch of bull. I don't know about any of you, but I never had much fun losing. Even something as trivial as, well, Trivial Pursuit, I played to win, and I was royally pissed when I lost. By cheering for losers and deemphasizing victory and superior ability, we are sending children the wrong message. You think dodgeball shows inequalities? What about when these kids are 21 or 22, and one went to college and did well, while the other stayed at home and smoked weed? Are we gonna make sure they have the same type of job so as not to display superior skills? No, the smart kid will get a nice job at Highmark, while the dumbass is super-sizing the smart kid's lunch.

What people are forgetting in this whole thing is that our society, and indeed human existence, is predicated on refusing to accept defeat. In the Revolutionary War, the soldiers that would go on to become the first Americans were greatly outnumbered, outclassed, and undersupplied, but what they did have was a stronger will to win. They no longer wanted to be under British rule, and they would have rather died than go back to that way of life. Many of them did, but many more didn't, and for that reason we're American instead of Western British.

Humans have survived wars, famine, plagues, earthquakes, hurricanes, and everything else thrown at us, because we have always found a way to win. Whether it was cross-pollination of wheat, bomb shelters, or something as simple as an evacuation plan, we refused to lose and instead thought of a way to survive. So next time you put on your Red Sox hat, buy your Pirate ticket, yell for a starting QB to be benched, or tell your son that it's ok that he didn't win, you are going against everything we have done to get this far.

2005-10-19T23:20:00.000-04:00

Instant Classic Provides Hearbreak & Hope
by Kamo

As the final three seconds ticked off the clock at Notre Dame Stadium Saturday night, the realization that my Irish had just lost the greatest game I had ever seen began to set in. I had long since crumbled to my knees after Matt Leinart pushed (oh, wait, Reggie Bush pushed) his way into the endzone, signaling the end of another classic between the Irish and the Trojans. As I watched USC celebrate, a feeling of utter heartbreak fell over me: Not once in my 22 years of being a Notre Dame fanatic had I ever felt so poorly after a game. For instance, there was 1993 whenever Boston College nailed a last second field goal to squash the Irish' chances for a National Championship. Let's also not leave out the last two years of rooting for the Irish under Tyrone Willingham, an experience that was equal parts depressing and sickening at the same time. All of these experiences rolled into one, however, could not come close to matching the feeling that came with the loss on Saturday night.

I sat in the dark for awhile afterward and thought about the game. I cried a little, I got a little angry, and then something happened, something that I had not felt in a long time in regards to Notre Dame football hit me- Hope. Something amazing happened to the Irish on Saturday between the opening kickoff and Leinart's game-winning touchdown. For the first time in a long time, Notre Dame decided it could go toe-to-toe with Goliath, only, the Irish weren't playing the part of David. Notre Dame played like they were the #1 team in college football and for 59 minutes and 53 seconds, they pushed USC around and dominated every facet of the game. But alas, the Trojans won the only battle that really matters and, for this season, proved that they are indeed the best team in the nation. But fear not, because it is indeed a special time to be a Notre Dame fan. Charlie Weis is doing some special things, the least of which is instilling in his team that each and every time they run on the field they have a chance. The days of ND being double digit underdogs and losing by thirty at home are over. The legends of the fall are back, and order is going to be restored. Don't look know but... HERE COME THE IRISH!!!

Tommy Maddox... You Suck
The Steelers loss to the Jaguars on Sunday was a tough one to swallow. Point blank, with Ben Roethlisberger, Pittsburgh wins. With Charlie Batch, Pittsburgh wins. Hell, with Brian St. Pierre or even Rod Rutherford (ok, maybe going a bit far), Pittsburgh wins. Maybe I am missing something, but I thought the idea was the throw the ball to the guys wearing the same colored jerseys. Apparently Tommy "Gun" (what a loser) forgot that because he completed over 1/4 as many passes to the Jaguars (3) as he did to his own receivers (11). His quarterback rating of 30.1 was clearly lower than Bill Cowher's IQ on Sunday and afterwards Maddox said of getting booed, "I was disappointed in that, I'd be lying if I said no. When you have a track record in a city like I do here, I was disappointed." Hey, moron, you had 4 turnovers Sunday and in your last 22 appearances you have accounted for 28 turnovers total. It is a wonder that someone hasn't thrown you into one of the three rivers yet. Besides all that the underlying issue is this: Without Ben, the Steelers are in trouble. If you doubt that anyone manages a game better than him look no further than Sunday, and oh yeah, Tommy- YOU SUCK.

Well, that's it for tonight. If you like what we put, IM us and tell us why- we always appreciate compliments. If you don't like it, too bad because we are going to write what we want so go get the herp from Ron Mexico.

2005-10-13T23:41:00.000-04:00

Who Needs to Be There?
by Wilson

"Art Ditmar [sic] throws. There's a swing and a high fly ball going deep to left. This may do it! Back to the wall goes [Yogi] Berra! It is . . . over the fence, home run, the Pirates win! Ladies and gentlemen, Mazeroski has hit a one-nothing pitch over the left field fence at Forbes Field to win the 1960 World Series for the Pittsburgh Pirates!" – Chuck Thompson, October 13, 1960.

It is a moment that will forever be the greatest play in Pittsburgh Pirate history, and probably the most memorable home run ever hit (don’t even try to say Bobby Thompson’s is better. The only reason people remember that is for the radio call). Pirate fans still go to the remains of Forbes Field in Oakland every October 13 and play the entire radio broadcast of the game at the same time the game itself was played. Pittsburghers of all ages know the story, from the baby boomers that listened to it on the way home from school, to their kids that are told about it every time they go to PNC Park. It truly is a great moment not just in Pittsburgh sports history, where it ranks up there with the Immaculate Reception, but in the great history of baseball and indeed sports in America.

And you can’t find a tape of the game anywhere.

Back in the 50s and 60s, film was very expensive, and rolls were often used several times, thus eliminating some great shows and moments from the early days of television. Game seven of the 1960 World Series is an unfortunate victim of this, as only bits and pieces remain. Luckily, the best part was saved, and it can be viewed and cherished forever.

We now live in an era where we no longer have to worry about missing our favorite game, or not being able to watch it. We have ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, ESPN, ESPN2, ESPNEWS, ESPN U, ESPN Classic, DirecTV, Fox Sports (insert region here), and about twenty other channels on which we can see any sport imaginable. If you can’t watch your game, it’s not being played. Sadly, this overexposure is killing sports, and in turn killing the very networks that show them.
ESPN, once the only all-sports network on TV, has become a shell of the great channel it once was. SportsCenter has become The Stuart Scott “Boo-ya!” Hour, featuring all the latest news on the Yankees, Red Sox, Patriots, and Terrell Owens. After seven straight showings of the same episode, we are treated to an afternoon of…fishing and the World Scrabble Championship? How do sitting in a boat drinking beer, and freaking Scrabble constitute sports? After these debacles we get an hour of smart and informative sports writers giving their opinions on a wide range of sports topics. Oh, wait, it’s a bunch of loudmouths screaming about the Yankees, Red Sox, Patriots, and Terrell Owens. While Pardon the Interruption and Around the Horn were good shows at first, the act got very tired after the first 75,000 times they did the same thing over and over again, and now it’s not worth watching that while waiting for yet another SportsCenter.

After that, you’ll get to spend the evening with – surprise! – the Red Sox or the Yankees! While ESPN has many flaws now, including covering all the unsavory characters in sports and the crimes they commit, they all pale in comparison to the flagrant East Coast bias that its managers desperately try to deny. A few days ago, when the Angels defeated the Yankees and eliminated them from the postseason, did SportsCenter lead off with a story on them winning? No, we instead got a sad story about the poor $203 million Yanks experiencing heartbreak again. If George Steinbrenner sneezes, it gets more attention than the assassination of the President would. The Red Sox, who “only” spent about $130 million in each of the past two seasons, get similar treatment, as if their story about buying good players and still messing up is supposed to elicit sympathy from fans. The Patriots, winners of three of the past four Super Bowls, are suddenly the only thing that has mattered in the 86-year history of the NFL, even though they were outplayed in their first two title victories and had to rely on last-second field goals to win.

The hype surrounding events has gotten horribly out of hand in recent years too. The Yankees and Red Sox is bigger than the Allies vs. the Axis Powers, a star player going back to play against a former team is bigger than Jesus entering Jerusalem, and every Saturday you can watch College Gameday give an early September game between Minnesota and Prairie View as much analysis as the Super Bowl.

Things like that are what are really killing sports. We have become desensitized to great games and moments, because we hear about them constantly in the weeks before and after it. The NBA slam-dunk contest, once the event of the year in pro basketball, is now an afterthought and was even discontinued for a few years. The reason? SportsCenter showed every dunk in every game, and they were no longer remarkable feats. The same thing with great defensive plays in baseball. Between Web Gems, The Ultimate Highlight, and Plays of the Week, we’ve seen them enough times that we might be able to replicate them. And who cares if you can’t get a ticket or you’re working when the game’s going on? Tivo it! Being at a game no longer impresses someone with HDTV, surround sound, and that NFL package where you can watch 8 games on one screen. Heck, the viewer probably had a better experience than the person that actually attended the game.

It’s sad to think that we may never again feel the excitement those Bucco fans felt 45 years ago today. We can no longer go running down our streets screaming the outcome of the game for those that could not watch it. We will not be able to tell our kids how we saw a great moment in person without hearing, “Yeah, I just downloaded that play yesterday.” One of the great things about being a sports fan used to be how we could live vicariously through our favorite team or player. We wanted so bad to be part of the action, to be really involved and immersed in the game. Well, it looks like we got our wish, but we paid a huge price for it.

On a side note, I want to say how excited I am to be working on this Blog with Kamo. Even though we argue immensely on college football (he being a Notre Dame fan, and me being an Ohio State supporter...hence the name of the blog, stupid), I consider him a good friend and very wise in the way of sports. I hope you all enjoy our wild views on the world of sports, and if you don't I hope you contract the bird flu.